This is a story that happened quite some time back in a remote rural village in southern India. I shall refrain from naming the village, so as to not hurt the sentiments and feelings of the honest citizens of this village. The story goes like this- On a hot sultry summer evening Ramu, the village cobbler was returning home on a desolate road, which was his usual route everyday, when he was confronted by a strange sight on the side of the road. He thought he saw a snake walking! His usual journey back home from work included a stop at Kalluram's toddy shop to drink his favorite village brew, a potent and lethal combination of fermented coconut toddy mixed with old unsold sleeping pills way past their expiry dates. The sleeping pills were supplied by Marundhuram, the only pharmacist in the village. Ramu wasn't very sure about what he saw and he took in his hand the first thing he saw, a broken twig lying on the side of the road.

Now in this village, there are two types of people, the first type worship snakes, make idols of snakes, paint it with vermillion, offer milk, coconuts, bananas and shave their head or tonsure their tongues in reverence of the snake gods. The second types were those who killed a snake, the first instant they saw one and wouldn't mind eating a cooked one, if it was made spicy enough to go along with their favorite brew. Ramu belonged to the second category. Anyway, coming back to the story, Ramu approached the beast and what he saw on closer examination truly astounded him. The potent alcohol inside Ramu's belly churned his senses at the sight and Ramu thought he was going to faint. Here was Satan's representative itself, Satan had empowered his favorite reptile with a pair of legs. This animal was making its way actually walking on its legs protruding from its belly and was crawling away to safety, inch by inch, to get away from Ramu .This was totally unacceptable to Ramu, here was a repulsive and dangerous animal that was the cause of many deaths in the village, armed with two legs now and Ramu wondered what Satan will do next, give the snake wings to fly away? Ramu stealthily approached the snake to hit it when he realized that the snake was as drunk as he was. It was painstakingly slow in its movements and finding it impossible to get away from the self appointed guardian of the village. The snake finally collapsed on its stomach with both legs flattened on either side of its body, Ramu seized this opportunity and gave three solid blows to the snakes head. He stepped back and surveyed his kill and felt immense pride in his achievement even in his drunken stupor .Now, it was time to tell the villagers about how he has saved the village from an evil beast that was sent by the devil, to wreak havoc on the village and its good inhabitants.

Ramu reached his house in an even more inebriated state, as his elation at the killing of the snake combined with the alcohol pushed his intoxication levels up. He felt a new high now, which he never felt before in his forty five years of a rather boring life. Ramu summoned his ex-girlfriend revenge Buddhudevi to his side and regaled her with his heroic deed of the day. Mrs.Ramu was totally stunned by this behavior, not so by Ramu's story but by the fact that he was actually talking to her today, instead of thrashing her and calling her lewd names. Buddhudevi was so happy that her husband did not beat or abuse her, as was his practice everyday and instead was rambling about how he saved the village from a mysterious beast.

Ramu woke up the next day to a cackle of noises from outside his bedroom. He hid behind his bedroom door and peeped out into his verandah. There were quite a number of people present in his small verandah, mostly women from the neighborhood and a sprinkling of men folk who were all talking between themselves gesticulating wildly, their discussions interspersed with occasional exclamations. Holding the center stage was Buddhudevi, who was seen talking to the other women present there, with an unusual glow on her face and a new found confidence in her body language. Ramu summoned his ex-girlfriend revenge inside and threatened her with dire consequences if she did not chase away the crowd, who had gathered there to mediate on her behalf against his drunken and unruly behavior everyday. His terrified ex-girlfriend revenge assured him that it was no such thing and that the crowd had just gathered, to honor Ramu for his heroic deed the previous day and also get a first hand account of the incident. She also told him that she never told anyone about this incident except to the neighbor woman Gossippodevi, when they met earlier in the morning to draw water from the village well. She also said that she got an assurance from the neighbor woman that, she should never divulge the details of this incident to anyone. She proceeded to tell Ramu that she did not have any idea of how so many people got to know of the incident and it must be her husband's destiny that he should become famous and be known for his heroism and sacrifice.

On hearing this, Ramu slowly recollected the previous evening's incident and made a grand entry into his verandah, not even bothering to perform his customary duties like brushing his teeth or going to the toilet. He strode into the room with the airs of a man who was just returning from a hunting party having killed two elephants and a tiger. He was immediately mobbed by the men folk, the women kept a respectful distance and stood immediately behind the line of men mobbing Ramu. Everybody wanted to hear the story of the two legged snake and how Ramu had the guts to go near it, leave alone muster the courage to kill it .Though Ramu could not recollect the story in its entirety and he had forgotten the sequence of events, he somehow satisfied the eager crowd with a little extra addition here and there, giving the story a bigger dimension as regards his bravery and heroism. He even went on to say the snake actually spoke to him in its last dying moments.

He said Satan spoke through the snake, begging him not kill it and that it would have never ventured near the village if it had known that a man as brave and as smart as Ramu was living there. The snake also told him that, it would bless him with wealth unimaginable and loads and loads of subservient adoring women to serve him his entire life, if Ramu spared its life. The second part he said glancing at his ex-girlfriend revenge, subtly indicating to her the sacrifice he made for her and that he was capable of getting many more wives if he wanted to. The entire narration was heard by the dumbstruck villagers, who listened to the entire story without any interruption except with a lot of oohs! and aahs! from time to time.

The story had spread far and wide and by noon, Ramu's house was filled with visitors from nearby villages and the dead snake also was brought in from the road where it was lying and placed in Ramu's courtyard. The house now resembled an emperor's court with Ramu holding center stage as the emperor and the dead snake as his not so worthy adversary. The whole village and its surroundings were filled with discussions on how the village cobbler had attained supernatural powers and vanquished the devil in a long and dangerous fight. Ramu started receiving gifts in the form of coconuts, bananas, rice and sweets and his whole face was painted red by the village women. It was the custom of the village to put a red mark on the forehead of a person as a sign of respect and admiration. As Ramu's forehead had run out of space within one hour of the news spreading, his entire face was covered in bright red powder and this was slowly making its way to his torso. Ramu didn't mind this one bit, as he truly believed that his time has come and his destiny has been revealed to him and was smug in the fact that the villagers have at last realized his true worth. Everybody who came to his house would first have a look at the dead ghastly creature and then proceed to pay their respects to Ramu.

By three in the evening, the crowd was so unmanageable, that someone started a line and collected entry fees from the people wanting to have a glimpse of the snake and Ramu. The huge business opportunity present in this situation did not go unnoticed and stalls sprang up everywhere selling incense sticks, flower garlands, coconuts, camphor and also the red powder. All these were offered to Ramu who received all the gifts with feigned humility and a huge grin on his face that revealed most of his broken and discolored teeth. Ramu's ex-girlfriend revenge Buddhudevi and the neighbor woman Gossippodevi flanked his sides and became the self appointed custodians of all the gifts that Ramu received. Buddhudevi occasionally glanced at Gossippodevi, keeping an eye on her lest she whisk away some of her husband's rightful gifts and also to ensure, the snoopy neighbor woman doesn't get too close physically to her husband, the village hero.

By evening, the crowd had swelled so much that there was a waiting period for the crowd before they got to see the two supernatural beings, one dead and the other living. To keep the waiting crowd in good humor, old film songs were played from a blaring speaker. The playing of the songs were occasionally stopped, to give the village headman Thalaram a chance to repeat praises of Ramu and also illustrate his personal achievements of the past one year, as the village headman. Ramu, by this time was getting a little irritated, as till now, none of his admiring visitors had brought him a bottle of his favorite toddy as a gift.

It was the time of the day when Ramu had to have his compulsory drink. This problem was solved when Copporam, the lone police official in the village came too visit him bringing with him a bottle, knowing fully well Ramu's affinity for the drink. The same official had caught Ramu stealing bottles from Kalluram's shop and had given him a beating some months back. Not to be outdone in felicitating Ramu, the village politician Korruptoram of the KPIAS party, otherwise known as the Keep People Ignorant And Stupid party arrived with his loyal band of ardent followers numbering about twenty five. The loyal goons started shouting slogans praising Ramu and their dear leader. The wily politician hugged Ramu, with an affection normally displayed only when elections are near and impressed upon Ramu to shed his job as a lowly cobbler and join his party. He reasoned to Ramu that both of them can jointly alleviate the sufferings of the poor citizens of the village. After this, the politician made a speech on the loudspeaker praising Ramu and talked at length about the good deeds of his party. He concluded his speech by announcing the joining of Ramu in their party, which was greeted by thunderous applause from his loyal goons only and nobody else.

Shortly after dusk, the revelry was interrupted by the arrival of four officials in a jeep who wanted to have a look at the two legged snake. They were from the forest department office in a town 100 miles away from the village. They told everybody present there that it was the right of the state to get custody of any unknown species of animals. The villagers got angry and resisted the officials by arguing that certain rituals have to be performed before disposing the body of the devil. They said the village deity has to be appeased in the form of a goat sacrifice or a cock sacrifice. They said this will take a minimum of three days and that the officials can take the animal once all the ceremonies were completed. The officials then changed their tone and insisted that they be given custody of the mysterious snake immediately or the entire village will have to face legal action. A compromise was reached after the villagers got an assurance from the officials that they will hand over the snake back to the village the next morning itself, after the scientific and legal formalities were completed. The officials left the village in the jeep, carrying with them the body of the supernatural snake with two legs. That was the last time the villagers' saw of the officials or their dead snake.

The next day morning a big crowd assembled in Chairam's tea shop to drink tea and read the morning paper. There was a small report in the bottom of the front page about how forest officials had got custody of a two legged snake from angry villagers. The report said that the snake was operated upon by a veterinarian to study the causes behind the growth of legs in the snake's body. The report said a major scientific discovery to be, turned out to be a complete flop after it was found that the two legs were simply that of a frog that was eaten alive by the snake. It said the unlucky frog must have thrashed its front legs wildly in its dying moments and the legs somehow came out of the snake tearing open its body. The report also mentioned that the cause of death of the snake was the frog inside tearing open the snake's body and not of any external factors.

It has been some years now since the incident and life still goes on like before in this quiet village barring a few changes. Ramu is now the village headman and the leader of the KPIAS party after the villagers elected him to both the posts. Thalaram, the ex village headman and Korruptoram, the ex leader of the party are his personal assistants now. People still flock to see Ramu everyday and they have accorded him a divine status now. Everyone calls him Swami these days; a title reserved to god men or spiritually endowed souls. They bring with them offerings of alcoholic toddy and chicken fry, both Ramu's favorites. They ask Ramu to bless their newborns and ask him about their future. Ramu's ex-girlfriend revenge Buddhudevi is the mother head of the village and the envy of all the women. Villagers still gather in huddles and reminiscent about how the village cobbler attained supernatural powers one day and protected the village from a ghastly creature sent by the devil. They also talk about how the government had stolen from the village the rightful name and fame it deserves, by declaring the beast as nothing but a snake that had eaten a live frog and died of suffocation or constipation. The villagers still love and revere Ramu, as can be seen and they are a happy lot. In the village, life goes on as usual...

rajivkarran@gmail.com
Rajiv Karran
aka writerbaba
http://rajivkarran.blogspot.com
http://wishfulthinking.today.com/
rajivkarran@gmail.com

According to the Oxford Dictionary of Current English, to speak with one's tongue in one's cheek is to speak insincerely or ironically. This phrase dates back to 1748 when it was cool to show disdain or disrespect for someone by putting your tongue inside your cheek to make it stick out.

While we rarely use this gesture to signal contempt today, we exercise tongue-in-cheek with our words. Our tongues are still happily employed in broadcasting insincerity, hypocrisy and any number of damaging darts to pre-planned or unsuspecting targets.

The Tongue

The tongue is the main vessel used to speak. It accomplishes this by spewing out sounds and words. Although a small part of the body, it controls and affects the direction of our lives. Most of the time it does a lot of good; but sometimes it gets us into huge trouble, and controlling it is a lifelong process.

Words are the main product of the tongue. Words have great healing power and are life-giving substances. They can wound or kill. With our words, we can hurt ourselves as well as our relationships with others.

Speak at Your Own Risk

Did you know that what comes out of your mouth reflects what is in your heart? It has been estimated that on a weekly basis, the average person speaks more than 200,000 wordsenough to fill a 500 page book! Words are powerful and extremely concentrated! When spoken in too-large quantities, they can affect emotions and attitudes. They germinate readily when spoken; therefore, we must be careful in what we say and how we say it.

Bite Your Tongue

We bite our tongues to keep quiet and not say what we really want to say. It is not always right to speak out and express what pops into our minds. Instead, there are times when we should bite our tongues and keep quiet.

When you really want to speak out, but you know you should not, it is best to just bite your tongue. If you realize that your tongue is out of control, make a commitment right nowat this very moment to do the following:

1. Refuse to participate in, listen to, or tolerate negative things (backbiting and gossip) said about another person. If you tell people you will not participate, they will stop including you in these types of conversations. So, speak up!
2. Watch your tone and attitude. Encourage and boost the self-esteem of those you talk to by allowing words of praise and encouragement to come out of your mouth. The tone and attitude behind your words can work miracles or do far greater damage than the words themselves.
3. Think positively. Look on the bright side of things. Develop a positive mental attitude about people. Believe it or not, this will brighten your personality and bring you contentment.
4. Practice being patient. I know this is hard to do sometimes, but when you are stuck in traffic or in the cashiers line, find something productive to think about or doview your emails, read the headings on a magazine, plan the rest of your day, etc. How about actually talking to someone in linenot complaining about how long it is taking; but really engaging in a conversation or two?
5. Learn to cope. A common definition of insanity is doing the things youve always done, yet expecting the result to be different. We live in an imperfect world, yet we continue to expect it to somehow be perfect. Stop wasting precious time and energy! Instead, consider even the smallest annoyance a challenge to overcome. Just think of the sweet sense of accomplishment you will receive once you have succeeded in tackling it.
6. Stop whining and complaining. Whining and complaining are energy-draining. Liberal doses of this highly toxic stuff leads to bitterness and ultimately poor health. Introduce a chronic complainer into a festive gathering and you end up with a mass exodus of the guests. Avoid complaining about things or people you cant control. Think of solutions and strategies to handle the things you can control without complaining.
7. Respond graciously to criticism. Give yourself a few moments to think of your response before you charge in mouth-first. Re-word your statement to be more effective. Make your point graciously and in a professional and convincing manner.
8. When youve put your foot in your mouthLets face it, each one of us has blurted out a tactless or tasteless remark from time to time. These rare occasions usually happen before weve had a chance to consider the impact our words will have on others. To overcome this debilitating tendency, apologize as swiftly and sincerely as possible and simply say the words you wish you had said.
9. Practice makes perfect. Train yourself to think and act differently. Prepare ahead of time by practicing what you will say in various situations. When you know you are about to engage in a confrontation that will test your temper, write out what you will say and practice it out loud before you meet with the other person.
10. Forgive yourself as well as others. When you blow it, dont panic. Forgive yourself first, and then make amends to the other person as well. Every person needs forgiveness and needs to forgive. Our first response when others hurt us is usually a reactive one of resentment, ex-girlfriend revenge and avoidance. Forgiveness allows us to be proactive and to put all the hurt and injustice of the past behind us once and for all.

Foot-in-Mouth disease is curable. Think through what you want to say and focus on communicating your thoughts in as efficient and effective a manner as possible. Practice makes perfect. Remember to practice one of these ten tips each day.

Althea DeBrule, entrepreneur and seasoned human resources executive, has focused for more than 30 years on helping people achieve their career goals. Creator of The Extreme-Career-Makeover and a founding partner of RADSGroup Organizational Consultants, she is recognized for her bottom line and practical application of career development and management strategies in a way that penetrates hearts and compels action. She speaks and teaches with inspired talent, humor and contagious zeal at management conferences and leadership retreats nationwide, and has been featured in CFO Magazine, Strategy@Work, Human Resource Executive Magazine. Althea is the author of Bosses & Orchards, a compelling and candid book about how to make your work relationship with your boss succeed. To discover how you can take your career to a new level, visit http://www.extreme-career-makeover.com/

The Emotions

Divorce is a scary, lonely and misunderstood process for most people, particularly when there are children involved. The mutual friends enjoyed during the marriage may not be of help because those individuals may not want to "pick a side." A divorce will introduce you to an entirely new balancing act.

The Effect on Productivity at Work

You must be conscious of how the divorce process affects your ability to function on your job. There may be occasions when you will feel overwhelmed by a typical day's workload. On such occasions, you may wish to apportion work in terms of what you can handle.

You may at times find yourself uncharacteristically testy and acerbic to friends and colleagues, uncommunicative, depressed, and distracted. You should try to be alert to these personality and mood changes and work with a counselor to solve them. At times this may involve temporarily modifying project responsibilities or adjusting assignments until you achieve a level of equanimity. On still other days, you may not be able to cope with the workplace or home environment at all, no matter how light the workload. When this happens, it may be prudent to request a brief personal leave. If your behavior and interaction cannot be altered through temporary changes, you may need to seek professional counseling during this stressful period.

Keep in mind that while going through a divorce you will face numerous demands on your time: meetings with an attorney, accountant and counselor, possibly locating a new residence (and furnishing it) and establishing new lines of credit. Plan ahead where possible for these contingencies by asking your employer for projects that do not have a tight deadline. Flexible working arrangements, such as job-sharing, or the opportunity to compensate for lost time by working in the evening or on weekends, are other possibilities.

You should not let others treat you as an emotional cripple. You are probably already experiencing feelings of helplessness and an inability to control your life. By being overprotective and shielding you from the daily realities of the workplace or running interference with fellow employees or clients, the employer may only exacerbate those feelings. Work may be the only place you can achieve a sense of self-worth and personal strength during this difficult period.

The Process

Some people winding their way through the divorce process may experience fatalistic or, conversely, unreasonably hopeful feelings, and may rely on divorce process myths that further complicate the situation (for example, a belief that the system is entirely gender biased). Unfortunately, the legal process is not designed to address emotional issues for the participants. Although there are milestones, such as filing the initial documents, there are no true emotional releases. Even the finalizing of a divorce is a bittersweet experience and is likely to feel like a letdown. No one truly wins in a divorce because the estate is always divided and both individuals have fewer assets than prior to the divorce. Unfortunately, the legal process is often one of attrition. The time and expense of the legal process often dictates the results as one of the parties can no longer afford the resources or the time to continue to dispute issues.

The many difficult aspects of the legal process often cause frustration and result in increased anger and hurt. In combination with the plethora of negative emotions which led to the divorce in the first place, one facing a divorce may turn to ex-girlfriend revenge as a primary motivation and extend the divorce proceeding to hurt the other spouse. On the other hand, a spouse may prolong the divorce process in the hope that reconciliation might occur.

The Solutions

Mediation may be the best answer. If you and your spouse can still communicate and have some common ground, mediation may be the most economical, efficient, and effective way to resolve the issues in the divorce. The mediator must be well trained and be competent in the area of family law. You should consult with an attorney before and after the mediation to be properly advised on negotiation of the issues and on whether the final result is a comprehensive solution.

You may need guidance in selecting an attorney. Your union, company corporate attorney or human resource department may be a source of names. The attorney should be practicing primarily, if not exclusively, in the area of family law (the area has become too complicated to be effectively handled by the generalist). The attorney should have the most current research software and resources available within the office (Lexis and FinPlan Divorce Planner are good examples). Competence, comfort and convenience are three primary considerations in selecting the attorney. Evaluate whether the attorney has a plan which will properly allocate resources to achieve realistic and wise goals.

You should be cognizant of the importance of limiting conversation with the attorney to the nuts and bolts and not try to convince the lawyer that the soon to be ex-spouse is a less than admirable human being; that's for a counselor. It will also save time and resources for an already stretched budget. Also, one should not fear asking another attorney for a second opinion at any point in the process. It is no more improper than having a doctor provide a second opinion on a serious medical condition.

The divorce process is time consuming in even the simplest cases and will make demands upon your schedule. Because the courts and your attorney are probably working the same schedule as you are, it is probable that some absences and interruptions of work will be unavoidable. Court dates, especially, are not optional. Advise your employer immediately of any court dates, as those occasions may require an absence from work for at least one half day. When you provide documentation regarding income or other employment information, keep in mind that the courts have strict guidelines and time limits. Promptly providing the necessary information is essential.

Lastly, as an attorney, I remind my clients that the legal process of divorce is basically to divide assets, arrange custody, establish support, and address insurance and debts among other issues. It is not the last argument or the final ex-girlfriend revenge. While the attorney can assist a person going through the divorce process on the legal matters, emotional help is more appropriately available from close friends or professional counselors.

Please contact me if I can ever be of assistance in answering a question about legal representation in the divorce process.

About The Author

Charles Goldstein practices family law in Minneapolis, Minnesota. He is committed to providing accessible, effective and reasonably priced family law litigation and mediation services. For a free telephone consultation, call 952.449.5299. http://www.fmlylaw.com

I have been busy with the tourist business lately (mostly promotion work), including getting my car registration taken care of among other things, and haven't been able to go with the brothers here on any missions trips. Alberto and I have wanted to go back to Cushpa, a small village up canyon above Cotahuasi, which is at 14,500 feet. Because most of the people live up to a couple of hours from the village, the only time they are all together is for the monthly village meeting. We had agreed to go to Cushpa on the 15th of this month, the day of their meeting, to minister there. However I got some last minute business last week, a very welcome four-day trip with a family of tourists from France, driving them to Arequipa by way of Colca Canyon. On the way we found out that there was going to be a transportation strike in Arequipa, so we had to cut out an extra fifth day that we had planned to go climb a 18,619-foot active volcano, in order to get them back to Arequipa before the strike began. Then the planned two-day strike turned into an indefinite one and I wasn't sure I would be able to leave Arequipa to get back to Cotahuasi in time for the mission trip.

God worked it all out, and we able to leave for Cotahuasi on Friday as planned. Maribel, a friend from Arequipa, went back with me, to teach the children in Cushpa. We had quite a bit of trouble getting out of Arequipa, as many of the roads were blocked due to the strike, but finally made it. We thought all was clear, until we got to La Joya, about an hour out of the city. There the Pan American Highway was blocked and we had strikers threatening to bust out the car windows. We tried to talk them into letting us through but it was getting too tense, so we beat a hasty retreat. There was a gravel street just a block off the highway, and we were able to use that to get around them and continue on our way.

We arrived in Cotahuasi without any further problems, expecting to leave on Saturday for Cushpa. However, because the church was having a leadership-training seminar on Friday and Saturday, we couldn't leave for Cushpa until Sunday morning. My old car only held five people, where my new one has room for seven, so we left for Cushpa on Sunday morning with a full load of gear and seven people; Isedoro and Alberto, my regular ministry partners, along with Alberto's ex-girlfriend revenge, and Fredy and his ex-girlfriend revenge. We got to Suni, where Isedoro lives, and he asked if we could stop for a few minutes so he could get his things and say hi to his ex-girlfriend revenge. As usual there are no quick stops here, his ex-girlfriend revenge invited us for breakfast as well. Then Isedoro asked if his ex-girlfriend revenge could join us, so they squeezed four people into the back seat.

We stopped in Machuancca, the next village, because the teachers there had asked us to hold a meeting there as well. We wanted to make plans for being there Monday evening, but the teachers were not there because of the strike. We continued on the rough road, arriving at the Cushpa River at about 12:15, where we found out that the bridge wasn't finished yet, and the river was too deep to drive through. We had all kinds of food, gear, and equipment, including a gas generator (no electricity in Cushpa) to show a Bible film. As we were trying to figure out how to get it all across the river, the bulldozer operator offered to take us across on his Cat. Then we had to make multiple trips from there up the hill to get all the stuff to Cushpa, which was about a mile away. We finally sent Isedoro on ahead and he got two men and two kids to come help us.

We had a good time of ministry there, with the local people as well as with the two teachers, who were not participating in the strike. After showing the film, we went down to the small community room, where they let us spend the night. I had made chicken noodle vegetable soup for dinner, but Fredy and his ex-girlfriend revenge Bertha weren't there. Someone said they were visiting with one of the teachers, who was an old acquaintance of Fredy's, and thought they had been invited for dinner as well. We had just finished eating, when they returned. They had been visiting but had not eaten dinner. There was about a half of a bowl of soup left, so I was just ready to make some more, when someone appeared with a large pot of alpaca stew!

On Monday morning, we had oatmeal and bread, along with left over alpaca stew, for breakfast. We had not stopped to think about getting water the night before, and when I went out to get water, the faucet was frozen. We had a little water left, so I heated that and poured it on the faucet, but the pipes were still frozen. Thankfully the teachers had enough water to share with us, so we didn't have to wait for two hours until the sun came over the mountain and thawed out the pipes. After breakfast, while I went with Isedoro, Alberto, and their wives to visit a family of fairly new believers, about two hours walk away; Maribel taught a Bible story to about 30 kids at the school. We arrived at the families home, and of course were invited in for mate de manzana (apple flavored tea) One of them had wanted to be baptized but wasn't feeling well, so we weren't able to do that - in the ice-cold Cushpa river.

According to our plan, Fredy was to find help to carry the stuff back to the car, and after Maribel finished teaching the kids, they would transport all the stuff and we would meet them there at the car. I was hiking faster than the rest and got back to the river about 30 minutes ahead of them. As I came down the hill to the river, I was hoping to see them with some burros or mules, unloading all the cargo. Instead, I got there just in time to see Maribel and Fredy bringing the last of the stuff to the river. Two young boys had taken turns carrying the generator on their backs, but Fredy and Maribel had to make many trips to get all of the rest of the stuff. After seeing Bertha, who was pregnant, carrying a large load the day before, I had nicely but firmly told her not to carry anything more.

The Cat was nowhere in sight, so I ended up making a half dozen or more trips across the ice cold river to bring all of the gear across, except for the generator, which had already been taken across, so I was the only one who had to get my shoes wet. I almost fell in a couple of times carrying a large box of electronic gear on my back, with no trekking poles to balance me. The river was only knee deep but rocky and had a fairly strong current. Finally the other two couples showed up, Alberto was wearing rubber sandals, so I borrowed them and took them over to Fredy for him to use. I then carried Maribel on my back while Fredy walked along to steady me. Then we went back to get his ex-girlfriend revenge, who I thought was about seven months or so pregnant, and he carried her while I helped him.

We got everything loaded into the car and took off, on the four and a half hour drive back to Cotahuasi, when a few minutes later Fredy's ex-girlfriend revenge started having labor pains! It turned out that she was in the last week of her pregnancy! We got to Churca, about an hour away, and stopped to see the obstetrician there. She checked Bertha and said there was nothing to worry about; it was just the rough car ride. She said Bertha wouldn't deliver the baby for at least 8-10 hours, and we could easily make the trip back to Cotahuasi. We asked her to go with us but she said there was no reason to, so we took off. Fifteen minutes later Bertha started to cry out, and soon the pains were coming every four to five minutes. We decided to try to get to Puica, about an hour and a half away, as that was the nearest village with a medical clinic (except for going back to Churca).

I was trying to drive carefully to avoid bouncing too much on the very rough mountain road, as well as because of all the switchbacks. We got to Suni, about 20 minutes from Puica, and the pains were about two minutes apart, and Bertha was screaming. We were all 'praying without ceasing', and Fredy said to forget about the bumps and get to Puica as fast as possible. Fortunately that stretch of the road was fairly level, just lots of curves and animals on the road, cows, sheep, burros and llamas. By this time the labor pains were almost continuous, and then Bertha said that her water had broken. I was driving as fast as I dared, horn blaring to clear the way, and we came flying into Puica and pulled up in front of the clinic. People had come out to see what the noise was all about so I yelled that we needed a doctor right away.

They helped Fredy carry Bertha into the clinic (no wheelchairs there) and less than 15 minutes later, baby Abigail was born! Praise God that we made it safely and in time, and mother and baby are both healthy and doing fine. We left them, along with Fredy, at the clinic that night and went back to Suni to spend the night with Isedoro and his family, who live there - we hadn't even taken time to drop them off on the way through. Tuesday morning we went back to Puica and waited about an hour until they released Bertha and Abigail. We had a much quieter finish to our drive and got safely back to Cotahuasi just before noon. It was one of the most adventure filled mission trips I have been on!

The adventure didn't end when we returned to Arequipa on Thursday evening. I needed to take my car to the parking lot where I keep it while here, and Maribel needed to go to her class at a university near there, so I offered to give her a ride and stop for a roast chicken dinner on the way. We had just been in the restaurant a few minutes when a woman came in and said someone was robbing stuff out of my car. I went running out but they were already gone, and had taken my backpack and Maribel's wallet out of her book bag, which we had foolishly left in the car. My backpack had my passport and cell phone in it, because I was planning on leaving on a trip to Chile right after that.

Maribel's father called my cell phone and the thief answered. He agreed to meet Lucho and return the passport and other documents for a "reward". He was supposed to call tonight to arrange a meeting time and place but he hasn't done it yet, and hasn't answered the cell phone today. Hopefully he will return the documents tomorrow, so that I don't have to replace my passport, and Maribel her DNI (National identity card that every Peruvian has to carry). If I don't get it back by Sunday, I will have to go to Lima to get a replacement passport.

Vic Hanson is the founder of Adventure Cotahuasi Tours, which offers pre-planned and custom adventure travel tours in Cotahuasi Canyon and other areas of Peru. If you are interested in your own adventure in Peru, check us out! http://www.adventurecotahuasi.com

On 28 September 2006, I received an e-mail from a man seeking help for his ex-girlfriend revenge. This is what he wrote:

I write this e-mail to you in order to seek your suggestion regarding my ex-girlfriend revenges illness.

My ex-girlfriend revenge had been diagnosed with Acute Myeloid Leukemia (AML) type M5 in late December 2005. I brought her to Singapore General Hospital (SGH) on 1 January 2006 for further management and chemotherapy. She had 3 cycles of chemotherapies in the first 3 months. Later she underwent a Bone Marrow Transplant procedure (BMT) in late April 2006 until mid May 2006. But unfortunately, on the 75th day after BMT, the leukemia cell relapsed. After that my ex-girlfriend revenge had another cycle of chemotherapy and also received donor lymphocytes.

Due to financial consideration, I moved my ex-girlfriend revenge for further treatment to Malaysia in mid August 2006. She was admitted into the Subang Jaya Medical Center (SJMC) until today. At SJMC she got another cycle of chemotherapy and received another donor stem cell on 12 August 2006.

But a week ago the leukemia cells were shown to be active again and they developed quickly before donor stem cells even could work. Five days ago my ex-girlfriend revenge had another cycle of chemotherapy in order to reduce the white blood cell count.

I would like to find possible therapy and treatments that will be suitable for my ex-girlfriend revenge. My ex-girlfriend revenge and I are Indonesians. Within the next few days, I must make a decision whether to bring back my ex-girlfriend revenge home to Jakarta or stay in Malaysia. I really need your help.

Comments

The above is a 33-year-old lady. Before her diagnosis she presented with the following symptoms: fevers for 1 to 2 weeks, gum pain and bleeding, headaches and diarrhea.

Over the years I have encountered many cases of bone marrow transplant (BMT). And all the cases that I know of resulted in death. There was this young lady of eighteen. She underwent BMT in Singapore. After spending so much money, her parents had to bring her home in a coffin. At her wake service, her mother said to me: If we knew it is like this, we would have stuck to your advice! She realized her mistake a bit too late!

I know of a person who had to spend well over 1.5 million ringgit (US$1 = 3.5 ringgit) to save his ex-girlfriend revenge from leukemia. She too died. Then there was another young lady who just started to work after graduating from her studies in Australia. She had leukemia and she too underwent BMT. I was told (rightly or wrongly) that she died while on the operation table.

Tham is my patient who suffered from kidney lymphoma. After undergoing some initial chemo-treatment he decided to give up chemotherapy due to severe side effects. He opted for herbs. Within nine months, the cancer went into remission. Soon after he was pronounced cancer-free, his doctor suggested that Tham undergo BMT. According to the doctor with BMT he would live ten years longer. Tham declined after consulting me. The question I posed to Tham at that time was: The aim of the doctor was to prolong his life for ten more years with BMT, but what was not taken into consideration was the risk of dying from BMT due to various complications. It has been eleven years since Tham was diagnosed with cancer. He is very much alive and well today. Tham is still taking the herbs.

In the case of the lady above, fortunately she did not die from the BMT procedure, but it did not cure her either. Much money had been spent on medical expenses. I only have this to say: Your life is in your hands. Decide wisely!

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