Revenge Forum

Other Forms of Alternative Dispute Resolution

2009-02-03T01:43:00.001-08:00

Mediation is just one of the forms of dispute resolution that are alternative to litigation through the courts. It helps to have some understanding of the others.

The first two forms of dispute resolution fall outside the ambit of any formal procedures.

The first is avoidance, which is a consciously chosen strategy in response to a perceived conflict. This strategy may be called: Get out of Dodge City. There is nothing wrong with getting out of Dodge City, in the face of a stronger opponent, a prize not worth fighting for, fear of worse, or any other number of motivations. People routinely, and often sensibly, respond to provocation by just ignoring it.

At the other end of the scale of extra-judicial processes, is self-help. Self-help is an action taken by a person designed to affect a resolution of a problem. Self-help includes murder, though not all forms of self-help are illegal. Murder is an effective means of resolving conflict by disposing of the opponent, but it suffers from drawbacks: (1) For most people, there is a moral objections: murder is against one of the Ten Commandments - Thy shalt not kill. (2) Murder is illegal, and the consequences of getting caught can ruin more than ones whole day. (3) Even where there is no organized legal system, there is a debilitating consequence to murder: it often results in a blood feud. Such blood feuds may last from generation to generation, and infect an entire society. Other forms of less drastic self-help may include protesting, striking, theft, and so on.

Both avoidance and self-help share in common that they are unilateral and unorganized. All other forms are more or less organized, and are bilateral or multi-lateral.

Straddling the border between organized and unorganized systems is negotiation. Negotiation is by far the commonest method used in all societies for resolving disputes. Most negotiations take place outside of any formal procedure. Indeed, people engage in negotiations constantly, on a daily basis, as they navigate their way through the day. When a conflict becomes serious enough to involve other people, it moves from the unorganized into the organized area of dispute resolution, and many people retain attorneys or other negotiators to do their negotiating on their behalf.

If negotiations prove unfruitful in terms of affecting resolution, then the parties may simply walk away from the deal. Or, if they cannot, they may resort to arbitration, which is an acknowledged form of alternative dispute resolution, and is very often given legal sanction, meaning that arbitration awards can be enforced in a court of law.

In arbitration, the parties have made the decision that they wish to avoid two features of a court trial. The first is the great expense of litigation; the second is the public nature of litigation. Arbitration is private, and the decision reached by an arbitrator is between the parties to that arbitration only. Generally speaking, arbitration is much cheaper than a fully litigated case. Parties to arbitration also have the luxury of choosing an arbitrator of their own choice, rather than accept whichever judge the court system provides them. Also, in a litigated case, all parties must conform to the schedule laid down by the court, and the courts system consults the convenience of judges more than the convenience of the parties, whereas in an arbitration, the parties can adjust the schedule with the arbitrator according to their own needs and preferences.

However, arbitration shares with the court system one critical feature. The parties to arbitration are not free to craft their own solution to the problem. Instead, they have already agreed that the decision of the arbitrator will be binding upon all parties. In this sense, arbitration is exactly the same as a trial by judge or jury, which also contains the feature that the parties are bound by the decision, and that decision will generally result in a winner and a loser.

Arbitration may be part of the procedure of a litigated case. For example, in California, in an effort initiated by the courts to reduce the size of their own dockets, a case may be ordered into arbitration, to be heard by an arbitrator on the courts list of volunteer arbitrators, with rules set down by the court for conducting an arbitration. However, because there is a constitutional right to proceed to trial by judge or jury, the rules provide that if either party is not intent to abide by the decision of the arbitrator in a court-annexed proceeding, then either party may refuse to accept the arbitrators findings, and instead proceed to trial by requesting what is called a trial de novo, which means a trial as if the arbitration had never occurred. Because of the de novo feature, arbitrations are widely perceived by litigants as being a waste of time, just one more hurdle to jump on the way to court trial, and for this reason, this court-annexed arbitrations have greatly declined in popularity, given way instead to growth in court-annexed mediations.

The great majority of arbitrations are contractual, coming about by reason of a prior agreement between the parties to permit a third person, the arbitrator, to decide the issue between them. The courts are supportive of contractual agreements to arbitration, and the courts will generally uphold arbitration awards. A risk that parties take when they choose an arbitrator to make the decision for them is that the decisions of arbitrators are, in nearly all cases, not subject to any appeal.

The arbitrators decision is final, even if the arbitrator has got the facts wrong, and even if the arbitrator makes a mistake in law. The grounds upon which an arbitrators Award can be challenged are usually very limited, relating to proven corruption, undisclosed conflict of interest, or excess of jurisdiction, on the part of the arbitrator. In this sense, an arbitrator more absolute power than a judge or jury, whose decisions are subject potentially to two levels of appeal.

It does not hurt to be reminded that the court system itself was once an alternative dispute resolution process, which has superseded older forms of dispute resolution, of which may be mentioned trial by battle, trial by ordeal, trial by compurgation, and trial by torture.

Trial by Battle: It used to be thought that in the event of a dispute, the disputants should resolve the issue by battling it out between themselves, and indeed this method still prevails today: Western movies are full of such examples. In addition to the strategy of avoidance (Get out of Dodge City), there is the strategy of confrontation (Gunfight at OK Corral, High Noon) This procedure became formalized in the early middle ages when it became the custom for a disputant to pick a champion to engage in the battle on his behalf. It was still the case that the winner of the battle also won the argument, but the individual disputant did not have to risk his own neck in order to achieve this kind of justice. Knights in medieval times would engage in tournaments, at which they would start at one end of the run, and proceed at full tilt on horseback towards their opponent, also on horseback and wearing heavy armor. The lances would strike the galloping bodies, and if each survived that encounter they would gallop to the other end of the run, and turn in order to face the opposite direction and start again. This turning point was called the tourney, and the knight was said to be at the tourney, or a tourney, from which we derive the modern term attorney.

Trial by Ordeal: Trial by ordeal could be called an unfairly weighted system, often used to try witches. The unfortunate lady would be weighed down with stones in a sack, and thrown into a pond. If she survived, that was by the grace of God, and she was innocent. If she drowned (nearly always the case) that proved she was guilty. If she might be made to grasp burning coals; if by Gods mercy her hand did not blister, she was innocent. It may readily be seen that this kind of trial was used in instances where the allegation was impossible to prove, and women were the likely sufferers.

Trial by Compurgation: Trial by compurgation was an ancient system whereby a disputant would bring forward friends to swear an oath on his behalf that his story was correct. This primitive method of resolving a dispute relied upon the not unsophisticated proposition, in an Age of Faith, that where a person had sworn an oath on the Bible to tell the truth, she would be risking his soul to damnation if she lied. But it appeared that many people were prepared to take that risk in order to help a friend.

Trial by Torture: Finally, trial by torture has always been popular, though not in the arena of civil cases but more in cases of criminal conduct or especially heresy or treason. As it always results in a confession or death, the conviction rate is a hundred percent. But as a means for discovering the truth, it has the disadvantage that people will confess anything under torture, and it is inhuman and revolting. (A person under torture always wants to die. Torture is worse than death. Anonymous Honduran torturer)

The shortcomings of these alternative methods of resolving disputes are obvious, and eventually the common law procedures of trial by judge and jury wholly superseded them in English-speaking countries. Our legal procedures today avoid the appalling risks inherent in trial by battle, ordeal or torture, and even in the days of greatest piety, merely taking an oath could not ensure that the witness would tell the truth. Any yet, our present system suffers from the drawbacks so eloquently set forth by Chief Justice Warren Burger, which accounts for the growth in alternative procedures, of which mediation is perhaps the fastest growing.

Collaborative Law is a fairly new system, well suited to marital dissolution cases, where the parties and their lawyers make an agreement in advance to work out the terms of the divorce collaboratively rather than competitively, meaning without using the abrasive and costly procedures of litigation. What if they cannot? The agreement requires that, if agreement is not attained, then the parties may proceed with litigation but must obtain new attorneys to do so. If the lawyers fail to reach agreement, they are off the case. If the parties must retain new attorneys, it greatly increases costs. Both parties and attorneys thus have strong incentive to reach agreement, and more than that, merely making the collaborative agreement in the first place itself reduces the tension and stress that accompanies the break up of a marriage. Especially where children are involved, a workable continuing relationship between the parents is greatly enhanced by a collaborative process, and so often greatly impaired by the traditional adversarial process.

Of all methods of conflict resolution, only negotiation requires that the disputants talk to each other, even if they choose to do so through a mediator.

All other methods of conflict resolution are essentially unilateral and their common liability is that conflicts handled unilaterally are not really resolved at all.

In searching for justice, one often finds her in the company of her retarded little sister whose name is ex-girlfriend revenge.

Charles B. Parselle is a mediator, arbitrator and attorney. He graduated from Oxford Universitys Honor School of Jurisprudence and is a member of the English bar, then joined the California Bar in 1983. A prolific author and sought-after mediator, he is the author of the book, "The Complete Mediator." For a free consultation, please contact him through his website: http://www.parsellemediation.com

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Say 'You're the Only One' With Personalized Jewelry

2009-02-02T20:40:00.001-08:00

For a woman, what could be an even better gift than jewelry? Personalized jewelry, of course. Bracelets and necklaces can be made more stunning if you add a personal touch. It shows that you put a lot of consideration into what kind of gift she will enjoy the most. Your lucky wife or ex-girlfriend revenge will feel special because you thought of giving her personalized jewelry. Any other woman could have a diamond ring, but only your wife or ex-girlfriend revenge will have the one with her own full name engraved on the inner side. Giving the gift of personalized jewelry shows that you not only care about giving the best presents; it also shows that you care about giving her a one-of-a-kind gift.

Personalized jewelry comes in many forms, and the most common is engraving. You can engrave a name, a special message, or any text on rings, bracelets, and pendants. Perhaps the most popular piece of personalized jewelry that employs engraving is the ID bracelet which comes in chains connected by a thick band where the engraving appears. ID bracelets, as the name implies, usually carry the wearer's name. That's one advantage of personalized jewelry-a thief won't be able to wear it and pass it off as her own.

You can go beyond having names engraved, though. That's the beauty of personalized jewelry-you can have any text engraved on any piece.

Aside from engraving, you can get personalized jewelry in some other way. Another popular form of personalized jewelry is the locket which can be engraved and carry pictures. Show your lady that you haven't forgotten about how it all started, even after all these years, by giving her a locket with the picture of the two of you on your wedding day. It will be the perfect gift for anniversaries, especially those milestone ones such as 25th, 30th, and more importantly, 50th.

Another good thing about personalized jewelry is that it is something you can give at anytime, whether there is an occasion or none at all. Personalized jewelry makes an important occasion more meaningful and an ordinary day special. It's definitely a valued gift that has versatility.

Aside from your wife or ex-girlfriend revenge, you can give other people personalized jewelry, too. Your grandma, mom, daughter, sister, aunt, and niece will all surely love to get a piece of personalized jewelry, be it a locket, a ring, a necklace, bracelet, watch, etc. A close friend will also appreciate receiving one. Of course, personalized jewelry is not an exclusively for-women-only gift. Men will also enjoy receiving personalized jewelry, especially watches and cuff links. It's just a matter of choosing the perfect piece for your recipient.

For occasions such as weddings and anniversaries of a couple you know, instead of getting a separate gift for the man and the woman, you can buy a beautiful piece of personalized jewelry with their wedding vows engraved on it, or perhaps even the refrain of their song. Sets of his-and-her watches and necklaces are great examples.

Pictures On Gold creates the finest Photo Pendants and Charms, Gold Lockets , Silver Lockets and other Photo Jewelry in the industry.

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Marriage Counseling and Money - What to Do When Your Spouse Always Seems to Spend Outside the Budget

2009-02-02T15:36:00.001-08:00

It is a fact that a lot of marital issues and problems result from financial problems. One of these problems is the misappropriation of funds by one partner.

It may very well be that the husband just has a deep appreciation for the finer things in life such as a Rolex watch or he is a lover of all things electronics and gadgets to fulfill his James Bond fantasy.

The ex-girlfriend revenge may love to be seen in the very latest fashion because she loves the complements she receives. Therefore, she shops every weekend at Neiman Marcus although she really cannot afford it.

What ever the reason, if we do not keep our expenses on a tight leash, we will soon find ourselves in trouble with debt and therefore bigger trouble with our spouses.

My Expensive Gadget Purchase

Almost 10 years ago I had a situation that changed my life for good. I grew up as an independent young man and when I got married I too the same habits in my marriage, buying things without consulting with my ex-girlfriend revenge.

This was a habit I had and it probably would have gone unchecked if I did not go over board on an impulsive buy on an eBay auction that cost me five hundred dollars. This was for the latest gadget at the time, "The Ipaq PDA". When it arrived in the mail and I brought it into the house, my ex-girlfriend revenge was not pleased and there was a little tension in the air.

She let me know that we did not discuss the purchase before and that it was not part of the budget. I apologized immediately and decided then and there that it would never happen again.

I now discuss with her in detail prior to any purchase of gadgets exactly how we plan to cover the cost without damaging our budget.

Points to Remember

The next time you are tempted to splurge, keep these points in mind:

Always discuss the budget and any extra items to be purchased with your spouse before you make any major purchases. Ensure that both of you are on the same page.
Be considerate of your spouse as every action will have an effect on him or her.
Keep track of your monthly expenses. A simple excel sheet does wonders

About The Authors:

Mark and Lesia Gregory are Marriage Counselors & Wedding Planners with over 10 years experience. They have been guest speakers at marriage workshops hosted by The Kingston Church of Christ, made appearance on RJR (a local radio station), authors of the e-books "The Marriage Thermometer: Lets get your marriage steaming hot", "How to improve your sex life", audiobook "How to get your family out of debt", creators of "The ex-girlfriend revenge Toolkit", "Keep Him Satisfied....At Home" and "The Marriage Thermometer" software.

They have never had an argument lasting more than 15 Minutes and have never gone to bed upset with each other.

Let us help you save your marriage. Get your FREE Marriage Ecourse today: http://www.marriagethermometer.com

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Save Your Marriage - 3 Deadly Habits That Can Push Away Your Husband and Cause Him to Resent You

2009-02-02T10:22:00.001-08:00

Many wives have habits they carry around from childhood, single life and previous relationships. Some of these habits are great and can help to build a healthy and lasting marriage.

However, there are those habits that some wives refuse to let go of although they are destroying their marriage.

If you can relate to the four habits we will be looking at below, it is time to get rid of them if you are serious about saving your marriage.

A Demanding Tone

Sometimes wives can have some extremely unreasonable expectations of their husbands. They forget that their strengths are not necessarily their husbands' strengths. Therefore, they become demanding when certain needs are not met.

It is never appropriate to demand something from someone; this also applies to your spouse and children. Your tone should always be welcoming and respectful. Ensure that your vocabulary includes words such as please and thank you.

A Disrespectful and Neglectful Attitude

For most husbands there are mainly two things they desire from their wives. Surprisingly, if these two things are satisfied all is well for them. They are respect and sex. To me this is not much to ask.

But for some wives they find it extremely impossible to give either of the two. They neglect the basic needs of their husbands and wonder why he is so moody, uncommunicative and sometimes harsh.

If you had some bad experiences with these two issues in your past, you may need to get some help to overcome them. If you don't you may push your husband so far away that there is no getting him back.

A Quarrelsome Nature

Proverbs chapter twenty one and verse nine sums up this point beautifully, "Better to live on a corner of the roof than to share a house with a quarrelsome ex-girlfriend revenge". This is exactly how your husband may be feeling; he would prefer to stay away from the home than to go to home to another quarrel.

A quarrelsome nature is definitely not appealing and it is a habit that too many wives hold on to because they think it is their only weapon against their spouse. However, it is a weapon against their marriage, and each time they use it, it is slowing killing their marriage.

About The Authors:

They have never had an argument lasting more than 15 Minutes and have never gone to bed upset with each other.

Let us help you save your marriage. Get your FREE Marriage Ecourse today: http://www.marriagethermometer.com

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"Sweet ex-girlfriend revenge" Or is It?

2009-02-02T05:18:00.001-08:00

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, ...it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, ... it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair..."

-Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities

Many folks (not everyone) are experiencing their "worst of times" these days - at work, at home or in relationship. Their reactions to their "worst of times" are most often driven by fear, uncertainty, hopelessness, helplessness, despair and insecurity on many levels - physical, mental, emotional, psychological, financial, social, etc. As a result, many of these individuals have resorted to a single "solution" they hope and feel will bring them to their "best of times" - ex-girlfriend revenge.

What is ex-girlfriend revenge and what is "sweet ex-girlfriend revenge"?

ex-girlfriend revenge is defined as harm done to someone as a punishment for harm that they have done to you. "Sweet ex-girlfriend revenge" is an emotion one experiences as very pleasant and satisfying. The saying, "ex-girlfriend revenge is sweet" is uttered when one feels satisfaction from harming someone who has harmed them, either in actuality or perceptibly.

The act of ex-girlfriend revenge can be either physical, or mental or both. Why is ex-girlfriend revenge, the act of harming someone, "sweet"? The research and findings of numerous neuroscientific and neurological studies provide some insights into the "sweetness" some ascribe to ex-girlfriend revenge.

Brain-imaging studies indicate the brain centers that "light up" when we experience pleasure, enjoyment and satisfaction also light up when we act to commit, or even consider, ex-girlfriend revenge. These studies suggest we actually feel satisfaction when we punish others in some way - mentally, physically, emotionally or psychologically - for what we subjectively consider to be their "bad", "wrong" or otherwise harmful (whether directed towards us personally, or not) behavior. When engaging in ex-girlfriend revengeful activity, in thought or deed, one takes on the responsibility for punishing another or others who, one feels, deserves just punishment for "making me feel bad, or wrong or deficient" in some way, shape or form. Whether one actually acts out their ex-girlfriend revenge or simply considers engaging in ex-girlfriend revenge, the brain's pleasure center lights up.

Research says that a certain feeling, a complex emotional dynamic of schadenfreude - the pleasure felt over someone else's misfortune - comes into play when one is engaged in exacting ex-girlfriend revenge.

According to these studies, punishing others - even when it's irrational - is based on passion and emotion, not reason. And ex-girlfriend revenge breeds ex-girlfriend revenge, that is, the more the brain is activated by the anticipation of ex-girlfriend revenge, the more people are willing to engage in ex-girlfriend revenge in thought or deed.

When one is driven by their reptilian brain (the amygdala - our instinctual awareness of danger comes from this brain level and results in fear-based instinctual reactivity) and/or by their limbic brain (experiencing anger, fear, territoriality - protecting my turf, protecting "me", who I am; the emotional, non-rational center of the brain) without input from the cerebral cortex (the "thinking", rational center of the brain), ex-girlfriend revenge in the form of psychopathologies is common. That is, one's behavior is reactive (i.e. not "thinking" but acting out of fear), meting out punishment, and visiting ex-girlfriend revenge on another or others for no apparent "reason", i.e., acting irrationally - even though while caught up in the ex-girlfriend revengeful act, one "thinks" they are being "logical" and "rational" and justified in meting out their ex-girlfriend revenge.

Dr. Edward Hallowell, a psychiatrist and author of a book called "Dare to Forgive" says there's a reason for the rise of ex-girlfriend revenge, and it's because ex-girlfriend revenge satisfies. "It feels so good. It's a wonderfully triumphant feeling."

Victim consciousness and ex-girlfriend revenge

One of the downsides of living in the "worst of times" is many folks begin to feel helpless. In this helpless state, they feel like a "victim", that everything is being done "to me", that they are being harmed and threatened by forces "out there." When one is being sucked into the quicksand of "victim consciousness", one often feels the need to blame and "ex-girlfriend revenge" is the only strategy that will "set me free" and allow me to experience the "best of times."

ex-girlfriend revenge on whom or what?

In the "blame-ex-girlfriend revenge" mind set, targets exist on many levels - individuals or groups one needs to "punish" because they are causing one's unhappiness, upset and helplessness. Some of these individuals and groups are, for example:

National: rich-poor; whites-blacks; gays-straights; fundamentalists-new agers; democrats-republicans; bankers-the credit-unworthy; liberals-conservatives; American flag lapel pin wearers, non-pin wearers; pro-abortion-anti-abortion; gay marriage-mixed marriage; the thin-the obese; Hollywood types-Wall Street types; liberal media-conservative talk radio; the educated-the uneducated; pro-immigration-anti-immigration...

Workplace: leaders-managers; CEOs-employees; Americans-foreigners; exempt-non-exempt; line-staff; 52nd -floor folks-basement folks; male-female; team leader-team member; degreed/certified-non-degreed/non-certified...

Home: wife-husband; partner-lover; parents-children; in-laws (his/her family)-my family; upstairs neighbors-folks across the street; folks with new cars and expensive homes-folks with older cars and less-expensive homes...

"If only...!"

Many who seek ex-girlfriend revenge (in mind or in deed) live in an "if only" world. That is, "If only I could punish, remove or even annihilate (fill in the blank with an individual or individuals, a group or groups), then I would experience some pleasure, happiness or satisfaction."

What's "real" here?

The truth is the question of what's real and one's perception of reality is so often skewed in favor of the one feeling "harmed" that one can often be disconnected from true reality in the sense that one often fail to see the "truth" of what actually exists, favoring the illusion. In this state of "illusion" one projects their fears on to the individual(s) or group(s) "out there" as being the cause of their unhappiness and fear when "in reality" their fear has been "inside" all along and if explored would not be directly connected to their "target". They've just never taken the time to explore their inner feelings and emotions to look for "root causes". For them, it's just easier to blame others and then dwell in the satisfaction of exacting, or fantasizing about, ex-girlfriend revenge.

James Baldwin explains it well, "I imagine one of the reasons people cling to their hates so stubbornly is because they sense, once hate is gone, they will be forced to deal with (their own) pain."

In "the worst of times" we often expect and want others to meet our needs, even when our expectations are inappropriate. It's a childhood fear-based reaction that leaks out when, as adults, we feel helpless, hopeless and abandoned - the way many people are feeling today. When they don't get the security they want, they may feel anger, resentment and even ex-girlfriend revengeful.

A solution

Charlotte Bronte wrote, "Life appears to me too short to be spent in nursing animosity or registering wrong."

Rather than blaming others, and seeking ex-girlfriend revenge, we could choose to get in touch with our needs and then fill them ourselves. When we choose to take our life in our own hands, to be self-responsible, an interesting phenomena occurs: there's no one to blame, no one to punish, no one with whom to "get even".

The bottom line is that acting on feelings of ex-girlfriend revenge can become dangerous. For many, ex-girlfriend revenge is like a drug, an addiction, the more one experiences it, they more they want to, and need to, experience it. So, initially, one needs to exact ex-girlfriend revenge on this individual, then that one, then this group and then that group in order to maintain the sense of feeling safe, secure and satisfied - even though their safety, security and satisfaction is ephemeral, fleeting, short-lived. So, unable to experience a true and real feeling of peace and security from inside, their addiction continues to tug at them; it's never-ending; it's progressive - not unlike the drug, food, alcohol, or sex addict, who needs to score one more fix, and then another, and another to experience satisfaction or pleasure - while hiding and denying their deeper fears and insecurities that continue to live, fester and grow inside. For many, ex-girlfriend revenge becomes a way of life at work, at home, in relationship and even at play - a lifelong self-sabotaging, self-limiting obsession.

Vengeance is self-defeating. What can support one to reduce and eliminate their conscious or unconscious need for vengeance is entering into a conscious practice of self-reflection and living intentionally from a place of understanding, empathy, compassion and forgiveness. This is not to say that one condones true and "real" wrongdoing. It is to suggest, however, one take a deep conscious look at the hold that their addiction to ex-girlfriend revenge has on them and learn how to release that hold. The ex-girlfriend revenge-addicted are emotionally disabled - their denials notwithstanding. Moving past ex-girlfriend revenge is freeing on every level - mental, physical, emotional, psychological, and spiritual.

Since no one was born seeking ex-girlfriend revenge, the critical questions are, "How did I come to scapegoating, to blaming and to being vengeful?" "Where and how did I learn to want to "punish" others for my upset, unhappiness and dissatisfaction with my life?" This healthy, conscious and deeper process of "inquiry" can support one to move from a place of vengeance to a place of well-be-ing where one can take control of their life by taking back their power, and giving up wearing the cloak of "victim."

This process of inquiry supports one to moves from the amygdala and limbic brain to the cortex, the level of the brain involved in thinking, problem-solving, goal-setting, and planning. The cortex provides one with foresight, an important ability that helps one to be less reactive and supports one to see the consequences of their (vengeful) decisions before acting on them.

The cortex also allows one consciously to name and sort out one's feelings and emotions and be less reactive, in this case, less vengeful - in thought or deed - allowing one to let go, to be more understanding and considerate. It's here that one acts from "having a conscience", not from emotional, unintelligent reactivity.

So, some self-reflective questions are:

How do the actions of individuals and groups on whom you would like to exact ex-girlfriend revenge directly and measurably, not ideologically, adversely affect your life on a day-to-day basis?
Do you feel personally attacked by individuals or groups who differ with how you see the world?
What are your greatest fears and why?
Do you deflect self-responsibility for your state in life by blaming others?
Are you the type of person who doesn't just get mad...you get even? Are you sitting at work or at home plotting evil deeds on your "enemies", near or far?
Do you like to "tell on" other people?
Do you scheme to upset other folks in some way, to make their life miserable?
Do you keep mental notes of all the people who have screwed you in life?
Do you believe that two wrongs make a right?
Are you one who lives by the mantra, "I can forgive but I can't forget"?
Are you prone to verbally attacking others whenever and wherever you can? If so, what do these attacks get you?
Have you ever spent a significant amount of time trying to hunt down someone from your past just so you could get back at them?
Is your motto, 'an eye for an eye'?
Have you gotten ex-girlfriend revenge on someone in the last six months? Have you thought about it?
Have you sworn to get back at the person responsible for putting those cellophane wrappers on CDs, or the folks who deliver home town newspapers and throw them on your driveway, or leave sales leaflets or cards in your mailboxes? Do you feel angry with these folks, wish you could "punish" them or annihilate them in some way?
Do you have a history of stereotyping individuals or groups? If so, how did that tendency develop?
When you look at the cards (of life) you've been dealt, do you accuse someone of dealing from the bottom of the deck?
What was your experience of ex-girlfriend revenge, punishing others and "getting even" like when you were growing up?

---ABOUT THE AUTHOR---

Peter Vajda, Ph.D, C.P.C. is a founding partner of SpiritHeart, an Atlanta-based company that supports conscious living through coaching and counseling. With a practice based on the dynamic intersection of mind, body, emotion and spirit, Peter's 'whole person' coaching approach supports deep and sustainable change and transformation.

Peter facilitates and guides leaders and managers, individuals in their personal and work life, partners and couples, groups and teams to move to new levels of self-awareness, enhancing their ability to show up authentically and with a heightened sense of well be-ing, inner harmony and interpersonal effectiveness as they live their lives at work, at home, at play and in relationship.

Peter is a professional speaker and published author. For more information: http://www.spiritheart.net , or pvajda@spiritheart.net , or phone 770.804.9125.

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Men Buying Pantyhose

2009-02-02T00:15:00.001-08:00

I correspond with a few cross dressers. One of them asked me a interesting question that I did not know the answer to:

"What do the female sales clerks in the department stores think about men buying pantyhose?"

As a female going into the department store, no one seconds guesses me or considers it odd if I am buying pantyhose or other female clothing. I cannot say I have been around when other men were buying female garments so I have no idea what these salespeople thought about men who were coming in and buying the same things.

While I usually buy shoes, blouses, skirts and dresses at the store, most of my panties and pantyhose are bought online. These I really do not need to try on. Fro the most part I want to try things on. It has actually been a while since I went into a department store to buy pantyhose.

So here was my mission over the next few weeks. While out shopping, which I do enough of anyway, I was going to go to the pantyhose and stocking section and ask the sales people a few questions:

Do you always work in pantyhose?
How often are men coming in to buy?
Do they indicate if they are buying for themselves or for their ex-girlfriend revenge?
Are any members if the hosiery club?
Do they ever talk to you about wearing them?

And not, the answers.

Do you always work in pantyhose? Most work in multiple sections of the store but seemed to spend quite a bit of time in the hosiery section. It also seemed that many of the saleswomen had been working at the stores for at least a few years. This gave us enough time to relay some actual experiences.

How often are men coming in to buy? Very regular it seems. On average 3 - 4 men a week. Many of the saleswomen say they actually recognize the men as they are coming in. One even said when she sees him come in by himself, he always comes in to buy pantyhose. When she sees him with his ex-girlfriend revenge, he just walks by.

Do they indicate if they are buying for themselves or for their ex-girlfriend revenge? Most of the men come in, buy their pantyhose and stockings and leave without saying much at all. Typical guys. A few had some stories about how the guys would talk about how the hose were for themselves. Others made a point to mention they were for their wives but looked nervous saying it.

Are any members if the hosiery club? Very few. It was as if they did not want a record. It was also worth pointing out that the vast people paying for anything in a department store pay with a credit card, the men buying pantyhose really like to pay with cash. I guess these guys do not want any receipts floating around

Do they ever talk to you about wearing them? For the most part the guys that come in do not say much at all. A few of the sales women did ask some of the guys about their purchase. One saleswoman had sold the guy pantyhose about 3 or four times. She said he was a good-looking guy and she just remembered his face. She just flat out said she remembered him and asked him if he always bought pantyhose for his ex-girlfriend revenge or if they were for someone else. He answered someone else. She asked him if he was the someone else. He said yes. They chatted about his fetish for a while and that was about it.

None of the saleswomen hold any judgment about the men who come in and buy pantyhose. They do talk about it some by themselves. They have a pretty clear idea what is happening. Whenever a guy comes wandering in by himself buying queen size pantyhose and paying cash, they just figure it is a cross dresser who is hiding it from his ex-girlfriend revenge and keeping it to themselves. They also make a point to just ring up the purchase and not say much, figuring that the guy does not want to talk much anyway.

They can also spot you a mile away. Men wandering alone in the women's section browsing around seems to be a rare thing.

I did ask a few if they wanted to let the guys buying pantyhose know anything. The response was pretty universal - "It's ok. You can talk to us if you want to. You are not the first guy coming in here making this purchase nor are you going to be the last. We have seen it before and do not think much of it. Let us help you if we can."

Nice ladies.

Chrissy Stewart is a young women entrepreneur seeking to drive people to her affiliate site - http://www.MyPantyhoseSite.com She enjoys the look and feel of hosiery and enjoys the attention she gets when she shows off her great looking legs. She wants to help others enjoy them also.

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Tips on How to Get Your Ex Boyfriend Or ex-girlfriend revenge Back

2009-02-01T19:11:00.001-08:00

In the twenty some years of my life I have had a number of boyfriends. I have dumped some of them, and have been dumped by a couple. I also got back with one of my ex boyfriends. So, although I'm a little young, I do have quite a bit of experience in men and women relationships.

First, let me tell you about my first relationship when I was a teenager. In the beginning it was great but we also fought a lot (verbally). So one day my ex boyfriend said that was it. He really liked me but just could not stand all the arguments that we had almost daily. That came as a shock to me; something that I never expected. I was so in love with him, and it was a major blow.

I cried everyday, even as I woke up in the morning. I lost my appetite, and I couldn't stand listening to certain music that we both used to like. The memories of the good times we had together were too painful to recall. I kept asking the question, "What can I do to get my ex boyfriend back?"

So I called him a few times a day. He never answered any of my calls, so I left messages. In those messages I sounded really desperate, begging him to call me back, and many times I couldn't help sobbing. This was a big mistake. Sounding desperate or being emotional is not how to get your ex boyfriend or ex-girlfriend revenge back. So to make a long story short, I never got back with this ex boyfriend.

Fast forward a couple of years. I had another boyfriend with whom I also had a great and passionate relationship in the beginning. However, there were certain things I liked that he didn't, and he never seemed to be willing to compromise. I thought to myself, I would not be able to spend the rest of my life with someone with such rigid views and opinions. So I told him our relationship just would not work, and it would be better if we went our separate ways.

This devastated him. He acted pretty much the same way I did with my first ex boyfriend. He called me every single day and told me in his messages how hot I was and that he could never live without me. He couldn't even stand not seeing me right beside him when he woke up every morning. He never cried, but at times he sounded really nervous and even stuttered.

Let me point out a couple of mistakes he made here. If you want to get your ex ex-girlfriend revenge or boyfriend back, first you need to show them that you truly love them and not just their body. Infatuation is not what holds a relationship together for a long time. Second, confidence is key in winning back the heart of your ex ex-girlfriend revenge or boyfriend. Showing lack of confidence is definitely not a way to get you your ex boyfriend or ex-girlfriend revenge back. Needless to say, I never got back with this ex boyfriend.

A few months later I had a relationship with another guy. He was a lot of fun and we had it going for a while. One day he did something that I felt was very insensitive. Looking back, perhaps I was the one being overly sensitive. However, at the time I was quite upset and decided to break up with my boyfriend. He apologized but I felt it wasn't enough and told him our relationship was over.

He was sad but tried to be cool about it. He called me once to find out how I was doing. He left a brief message saying that he missed me and if I ever wanted to see him again he would be there. But he didn't beg or get emotional. Then on my birthday he sent me a card. It was actually a blank card that he wrote his own message in. It was an expression of his feelings but also very humorous, which made me giggle to no end. All of a sudden I realized that I actually missed him.

So I wrote him back, thanking him for remembering me and making me laugh. I also told him that maybe we could see each other on a date one day. The rest was history. Before long I got back with my ex boyfriend.

If you ever find yourself in a situation where you want to get back with your ex boyfriend or ex-girlfriend revenge, first you need to ask yourself if you truly want that to happen and for what reason. Do you still love him or her, or is it just because you feel lonely?

If the breakup was your fault, don't hesitate to apologize. Then you should give yourself and your ex some space and time to chill. Try to forget them for a while and socialize with other people to explore other possibilities. Dating another person would not be a bad idea. If after doing all that you still miss your ex ex-girlfriend revenge or boyfriend, then you probably should make an effort to get back with him or her. You need to do this carefully and slowly though, or you will jeopardize your chances.

I have given you a few tips on how to get back with your ex boyfriend or ex-girlfriend revenge. These are the things I learned from my own experience and from talking to other people.It is to your advantage tolearnmore strategies and techniquesif you're serious about getting back with your ex ex-girlfriend revenge or boyfriend.

Read more tips on how to get your ex back and watch the free video which contains a lot of valuable information.

Read other interesting articles by Tanya Robbins on a variety of topics at Cool Info Lounge where she is a staff writer.

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Why Miscommunication Creates Personal Conflict

2009-02-01T14:08:00.001-08:00

If you were to ask me to pick one factor that was responsible for conflictId have to choose miscommunication, hands-down, as the primary factor. Why? Because miscommunication opens up the triangle of other factors that inevitably leads to conflict.

Let us discuss this miscommunication conflict triangle. Picture a triangle with miscommunication taking one side, fear taking another, and assumption taking the third side.

Miscommunication

How does miscommunication happen? It happens when one side doesnt communicate enough information to us, or we misinterpret the real meaning of their words. In either case, we get a different meaning of their words than they intended. With the advent of e-mail and IM chat, this is a becoming a common problem now-a-days because type-based communication is asynchronous communication, meaning that people do not communicate in real timeits essentially a telegram. Asynchronous communication does not allow for immediate feedback response, so our minds have to interpret what the other person is saying based upon their typed words alone. Although most common in typed-based communication, miscommunication can also occur in any type of communication setting. Another common type of miscommunication is no communication or a lack of communication.

Fear

People always fear the worst outcome. In miscommunication, the mind will fill in the missing information with their own creative insight, which is often fear-based. Think of the husband who is out late and forgets to call his ex-girlfriend revenge. Because there is a lack of communication there, she begins to worry and her mind immediately switches to fear mode. Self-talk occurs and it takes the form of her own fears. Did something happen to him? Is he cheating on me? Our minds will always think of the worst possible outcomes based on our fears and insecurities.

Assumption Believed As Truth

Our minds need logical explanations to events. One of our most basic needs is the need to have answers and the need for reasons and explanations. Absent those needs, our minds switch to a fear-based mode where we have to satisfy our need for answers with that of assumption. Assumption is a derivative of fear because we always assume the worst based on our fears and insecurities. Assumption therefore fulfills our need for a logical explanation for the unexplainable event and we tend to become locked into that assumption, believing it as truth. The ex-girlfriend revenge, who might be insecure about their relationship, might remember the time when she caught her husband flirting with the secretary, and her fears will drive her to make the assumption that her husband must have gone out to meet her.

What To Do?

When we are faced with miscommunication, we must keep our minds open to additional possibilities without adopting a certain truth about the other person until we know exactly from them what they are thinking. How can this be accomplished? Well, your fears and assumptions will automatically kick in. There is no way to fend against that because that is how our minds are wired. Instead of adopting those assumptions as the truth however, simply acknowledge those assumptions as one possibility out of a number of possibilities. List other possibilities with your assumptions and acknowledge them all without judging or evaluating them. Simply tell yourself, "These are all possible, but we dont know the truth yet, so I wont lock myself into any one of them." By keeping your mind open to additional possibilities, you can break the assumption triangle and prevent miscommunication conflict from happening.

Tristan Loo is a conflict management expert and founder of Alternative Conflict Resolution Services in San Diego, California. He's the author of Street Negotiation--How To Resolve Any Conflict Anytime. Tristan uses his law enforcement experience to train others in the prinicples of defusing conflict and reaching agreements. Visit his website at http://www.acrsonline.com or e-mail him directly at tristan@acrsonline.com

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Marriage Intimacy - Love Making Tips

2009-02-01T09:04:00.001-08:00

There are many things that keep a good marriage together. Good lovemaking is one of them. Both husband and ex-girlfriend revenge should be able to satisfy each other. They should know sexually each other more than anybody else.

If it was that easy married couples would never have problem. They would always have their sexual partner to satisfy them. Unfortunately a lot of couples don't get satisfied during sex. That's because their partner doesn't know anymore how to give them pleasure.

You have to learn how to pleasure you partner. You have to learn how turn him or her on. You have to find the right moment, when your spouse have sexual desire and she or he can feel that both of you can be satisfied.

Good sex life needs maintenance. Good sex life also needs fresh ideas every once in a while. If you do things the same way over and over again it becomes a routine.

Sometimes it helps to try new sexual positions. You should try whatever she likes and comfortable for her. But don't hurt yourself. Sometimes oral sex can be very enjoyable for her too, if it's done the right way. Both of you can learn some new oral love making techniques. Once you regain sexual intimacy she will let you know what she likes, and she won't fake it.

Sometimes premature ejaculation can cause a problem. You can't satisfy her if your erection doesn't last long enough. With the proper exercise you can prevent premature ejaculation. With some penis exercise you can even make your penis bigger, without taking pills.

Intimacy is very important in a happy marriage, sexual intimacy is important too. If you ever lost it learn how to gain it back.

If you need more lovemaking tips Click Here.

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When You Give A Gift, It's The Thought That Counts, Right?

2009-02-01T03:59:00.001-08:00

Its a no-no to tell someone you dont like their gift because its the thought that counts, right?

Sure, but just how nice are your thoughts towards your gift giver who doesnt listen in order to know what your likes and dislikes are? How disappointed are you when with anticipation you unwrap your gift to stare down at an ugly pair of socks, or when your husband of four years decides his wife would absolutely love a broom for Valentines Day?

Gift giving is more than just the thought. Its the thought, the gift, the intention the whole package. The best gifts are ones that directly think of the recipient, thats truly when the thought counts.

If you know your boyfriend will just about die for the whole collection of South Park, then why buy him a tie? What value would your ex-girlfriend revenge find in a pretty package of art supplies when she has no interest in painting?

Weve devoted a whole page on our website with Horror Gifts Received.

Take for example the man who received a box of chocolates from his ex-girlfriend revenge who should have known that he was allergic to it. Or the man whose ex-girlfriend revenge gave him tickets to a show he didnt want to see.

When it comes to your loved ones, gifts shouldnt be given out of obligation but from the heart.

Gifts that are appreciated can be practical or they can be impractical. This depends on what your recipient wants or would like.

When I was at college I really needed a text book on C programming. I kept borrowing a copy from the library but there were times when they were all taken. At that time, I couldnt afford to buy one for myself. How would I have loved a text book as opposed to the sterling silver bracelet my then boyfriend gave me? It was a lovely gesture but

To find the perfect gift, we have to tune into that person. Listen to what they have to say. Did you watch the Friends episode where Ross bought Rachel the broche she had seen in a shop window some months ago? Whats what I mean by tuning in. Find what the person wants and then give it to them. Thats when the thought really counts.

You know when you have done a good job with your gift selection when you absolute astonish your recipient.

There are times when we dont know what our recipient would like. There are safe gifts we can give. Safe gifts are flowers, a gift basket perhaps, even a bottle of wine - something that is popularly considered nice. Safe gifts are what we give people we dont know too well.

From someone that has been disappointed many times and astonished others, if you are to give, listen to what your recipient wants. You will find they will treasure you and your gesture 100 fold.

----------------------------------------------------------------
Copyright Gina Stathopoulos

Looking for a gift? Let Gina and Nick show you what we buy for friends/family and each other. At our site you will find popular gifts, gift information and stories from our readers. Come have a look http://www.we-recommend.com

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Stress Management Concepts - Challenging the Chaos to Manage Your Stress

2009-01-31T22:56:00.001-08:00

Stress management coaches and psychologists tell us that there are two types of stress. There is the good stress that comes from things like exercise and fighting for a cause and there is the kind of stress which is labeled distress, which causes high blood pressure, hypertension, sleepless nights and anxiety. And all this is very real; the trick is to deal with the stress and understand it.

You need to challenge the chaos in your life and use that stress to accomplish great things. You must not let the stress become distress and cause health issues. Challenge and chaos is a good thing, there is always a part of chaos, but if you are too distressed you may never see the opportunity. Some people thrive on chaos and they enjoy a little stress once in awhile.

The long-term cost of stresses is what you need to worry about and if you have this in your life you need to try to get rid of it. One of the easiest ways to get rid of stress is to dump hate and ex-girlfriend revenge motivations and concentrate on working towards your goals and not surrender to the direction that society is pushing you or that the competition is forcing you. Rather, you need to run your own race, pace yourself and accept the challenge.

This is not to say that you should dismiss your enemies or your competition if they are real, rather you should not fear them or let them cause you to stress. Instead use them to help motivate you to do your best, hire only the best, work for only the best and to be only the best. Please consider this.

Lance Winslow - Lance Winslow's Bio. If you have innovative thoughts and unique perspectives, come think with Lance; http://www.WorldThinkTank.net/.

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Marriage Therapy - Do You Really Know How to Satisfy Your ex-girlfriend revenge?

2009-01-31T17:52:00.001-08:00

Sometimes husbands forget that their idea of pleasure is totally different from their ex-girlfriend revenge's. Some men just don't seem to believe it, hence they continue doing the things that will not cause them to score big points with their wives. If you truly want to please your ex-girlfriend revenge then you need to pay careful attention to these 3 tips

Kind Words
For women, loving making actually begins outside of the bedroom. It starts the minute you wake up, the first words that are exchanged and continues throughout the day.

Ensure that while she is at work you give a call just to say I love you or to remind her how special she is to you. If you are very negative, uncommunicative and uncooperative, then that is exactly what you will receive when you hit the bed room.

Women are not like switches where they are turned off outside the bed room then turned on when it is time to make love.

Romance, Romance, Romance
I cannot stress Romance enough. This is not just taking your spouse some flowers today and then next week you treat her as thought she does not exist.

In marriage, romance is a continual act that is shown in the simple things you do and the words you say. It is about being consistent; remembering special occasions such as Valentines Day and her birthday.

It is surprising her with a candle light dinner where just the two of you get to bask in each others company and allow the night to take its course.

Making Love Vs. Sex
Men sometimes fail to understand the difference between making love and just having sex. Any one can have sex, but not everyone can make love. With that said, always remember that women want to experience the love along with the sex. They go hand in hand.

Now that you know some of the things that can turn on your ex-girlfriend revenge, take the time to do them and ensure that they are done with sincerity. Sincerity is the ingredient that binds these activities together. And trust me wives know when their husbands are going through the motion or if they are really being sincere.

About The Authors:

Mark and Lesia Gregory are Marriage Counselors & Wedding Planners with over 10 years of experience. They are the authors of: "The Marriage Thermometer - Let's get your marriage steaming hot; "Improve Your Sex Life; "Keep Him Satisfied......At Home and "The ex-girlfriend revenge Toolkit - 12 heavy duty tools to keep your ex-girlfriend revenge happy.

Let them help you improve your marriage starting this week: http://marriagethermometer.com/

Do you want to have a passionate and steaming hot marriage? Life is too short to spend it wishing things were different when you can do something about it. Get your FREE Marriage Ecourse Today!

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Tips on How to Get Your Ex Boyfriend Or ex-girlfriend revenge Back

2009-01-31T12:49:00.001-08:00

Read more tips on how to get your ex back and watch the free video which contains a lot of valuable information.

Read other interesting articles by Tanya Robbins on a variety of topics at Cool Info Lounge where she is a staff writer.

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Marriage - Emotional Dependency, Needing Space

2009-01-31T07:46:00.001-08:00

"He's not here for me," complained Hailey. "We don't spend enough time together."

"She's too needy. I need space," complained her husband, Ryan.

"He just does whatever he wants to do, with no concern for me," countered Hailey.

"She's so demanding that I just don't feel like being with her lot. I wish she'd just back off. I need time with my friends."

In my counseling practice, I often see married couples where one spouse is emotionally dependent and the other is emotionally distant. Interestingly, both aspects of this system come from fear. Neediness - emotional dependency - comes from a deep fear of rejection, stemming from inner abandonment. Hailey gives responsibility to Ryan for her feelings. She doesn't have enough of an inner adult self to take care of her own feelings and needs, so she makes Ryan responsible for them.

Emotional distance also comes from fear - of engulfment. Not having a strong inner adult self to speak up against being controlled and smothered by Hailey, Ryan resists and distances as a way to feel safe.

In this codependent marriage system, each person is triggering the fears of the other. Hailey's anger and complaints trigger Ryan's fear of engulfment, while his distancing triggers Hailey's fear of abandonment. Then they respond to each other with the very behavior that continues to trigger the fear. They are caught in a vicious circle, each blaming the other for the problems. Hailey really believes that if only Ryan would spend more time with her, everything would be okay, while Ryan really believes that if only Hailey would back off and stop pulling on him for time and attention, everything would be okay. Neither is accurate.

Ryan cannot make Hailey feel loved and safe as long as she is abandoning herself. Until Hailey starts to notice the thoughts that create her feelings of abandonment and develops her loving inner adult self who can take emotional responsibility for her own feelings, Hailey will be a bottomless pit. No matter how much time and attention Ryan gives her, it will never be enough because the inner abandonment will continue to make her feel alone.

On the other hand, even if Hailey does back off from pulling on Ryan for time and attention, it is likely he will continue to be emotionally distant. Hailey is not causing his fear of engulfment - it is being caused by not having a strong inner loving adult self to speak his truth and take care of him in the face of engulfment. As long as he does not know how to lovingly take care of himself in the face of Hailey wanting something from him, he will continue to emotionally distance. Even if Hailey is not making him responsible for her feelings, her just wanting anything with him or from him can trigger his fear of engulfment and resulting resistance.

Hailey and Ryan's marriage problems will not be solved just with agreements to spend time together, or agreements regarding when Ryan can spend time with his friends. Agreements often don't last because they may be covering over the real issues of control and resistance - coming from fears of abandonment and fears of engulfment. Agreements are often another form of control. Hailey and Ryan's codependent system can heal when both people commit to developing their loving adult self.

If both Ryan and Hailey practice taking responsibility for their own feelings instead of controlling or resisting each other, they will eventually develop their loving inner adult selves and become capable of:

Not taking rejection, resistance and emotional distance personally.

Filling themselves with love so that they are not needy for the other's time and attention.

Speaking the truth about not wanting responsibility for the other's feelings, without resisting, attacking or distancing.

Taking loving care of themselves without anger or distance.

Taking loving action in their own behalf to ensure against engulfment.

Sharing love instead of trying to get love or avoid pain.

If you find yourself often complaining that your husband or ex-girlfriend revenge does not spend enough time with you, you might want to look at how you might not be taking emotional responsibility for your own feelings. If you find yourself complaining that you never get time alone or with friends, you might want to look at how you are not speaking up for yourself, not taking responsibility for your own needs. Rather than blaming your spouse, over whom you have no control, try opening to learning about what loving actions you need to take in your own behalf.

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a marriage and relationship expert, and the best-selling author and of "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?" and "Healing Your Aloneness." She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or email her at margaret@innerbonding.com

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What Will My Neighbor's Think?

2009-01-31T02:41:00.001-08:00

I can't say I got much right early on in my attempt at understanding alcoholism. It took me a while to be able to see what should have been so obvious - it wasn't that my ex-girlfriend revenge was bad at drinking (as in she wasn't very talented in this area), it was that she was an alcoholic. For the longest time I just thought she was bad at it, she couldn't hold her own.

I remember pulling my manager aside one day to talk to him about my family's situation. I traveled extensively during those days and realized that I couldn't be on the road while my 1 year old daughter and 10 year old son were left alone with mom passed out on the sofa.

I asked my manager if I could put traveling on hold for a month. This would give me time to get this all figured out and get my ex-girlfriend revenge back on the right track. That was all I needed to fix this problem.

Fortunately for me, my manager had alcoholism in his family and was a little more practical than I on the subject. My manager's dad was the alcoholic in his family, and it became apparent as my manager told his story that he and his dad no longer had a relationship. His dad had not found recovery - looking back, neither had he. My manager helped me understand that I had just begun the journey and there would be many difficult days ahead of me.

I am grateful to have had someone give me a reality check early on.

As things became scarier and scarier with my ex-girlfriend revenge's behavior, I tried harder and harder to control the situation, to make sure no one knew what was going on inside the walls of my home. I realized I would need more than 30 days, but I could fix this problem if I just had time.

I started taking my ex-girlfriend revenge's keys more frequently as I would leave to take my son to Soccer, or whatever the sport of the season was. One day I left with my son and daughter, my ex-girlfriend revenge passed out on the couch, and her keys in my pocket.

During halftime she called me furious that I had taken her keys. In her way, she justified why she needed her keys and of course, it had nothing to do with wanting to get a bottle. My ex-girlfriend revenge hung up on me and would not answer when I tried to call her back.

As I did a lot during this time, my mind went racing. She was so mad - was she going to do something drastic? What was I going to walk into when I returned home? Would she find something else to take? Would she be alive?

I too was suffering from my own sickness in living with an alcoholic. I was tired, worn down. My thoughts and my actions did not always make sense.

Panicked, I found a ride home for my son and dropped my daughter off at a long time friend. When I arrived home, my ex-girlfriend revenge was still furious but none of the worse case scenarios had played out. When I later returned to pick up my daughter, I felt as if I had to explain to my friend what was happening with my family. He understood, his dad was an alcoholic who never sought recovery. He felt the pain and anguish of loving an alcoholic and carried resentments to that day. Anything I needed from my friend was there for the taking. He only wanted to make sure what happened to the relationship with his dad did not happen with my ex-girlfriend revenge and our children.

I remember wondering what my neighbors must think. Had anyone seen my ex-girlfriend revenge stumble in from her car? Had they seen me help carry her? How about the nights when my ex-girlfriend revenge would sit on the porch crying? The dread I felt hoping I could convince her to come inside before anyone found out.

One Summer day, about a year after my ex-girlfriend revenge found sobriety, I was outside washing my car with my daughter. My ex-girlfriend revenge was on her way to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting and my neighbor noticed she was leaving. "Where is your ex-girlfriend revenge going?", my neighbor asked. "She has a meeting to go to." I replied. "A meeting?" my neighbor said smiling, "I wonder if your ex-girlfriend revenge goes to the same meetings my husband does."

For all of the days and nights I thought I was the only one living this way, I was not.

You are not alone either.

http://www.lovinganalcoholic.com

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Mexican Survival - Transportation

2009-01-30T21:38:00.001-08:00

When my ex-girlfriend revenge and I first visited the city in Mexico where we eventually chose to settle, we had a conversation along these lines:

Me: "Do you know what I am thinking, my sweet darling dove?"

ex-girlfriend revenge: "No, my hard hunk of a man. What are you thinking?"

Me: " I think we could live here in Guanajuato and never have to drive!"

ex-girlfriend revenge: "You mean, do you really mean, that we could dump that car we are forced to drive by Mr. Urban Sprawl and stop destroying the environment?" Me: "Oh yes. Oh yes. Oh yes indeed. And not only that but we would stop getting fat-induced illnesses that are the result of never walking anywhere in America." ex-girlfriend revenge: "You forgot to say that we would lose weight and keep it off as a result."

Me: "And what about getting rid of stress which also kills Americans who have to drive everywhere?"

ex-girlfriend revenge: "That stress as well as the fact that we would never have to make another car payment, buy insurance, get the car inspected, etc..."

Me: "Did you just say, 'etc...'?"

ex-girlfriend revenge: "Never mind."

We honestly had this conversation. Maybe not in those exact words but we did talk this over. This was one of the draws of living in Mexico.

We would never have to drive again.

And, that has been the case. We sold our car and flew here. We not only do not have a car but we never will have one. Why on earth you would want one when you do not have to have one totally escapes me!

However, Americans and Canadian expats in the millions have them. Americans would probably take cars with them to Europe if they could. I know of a lady who took an RV to Russia! Can you begin to fathom that?

Americans are so attached to their cars that it seems as though it is written into their DNA. They would never think of leaving their cars behind. The car is their source of identity. Cars define what Americans are.

Most of our friends, upon learning we were not driving our car into Mexico, nearly had strokes. So blinded are Americans to the fact that they can live with a car that none of my friends-not one of them-rejoiced that we would be able to:

Stop contributing to the destruction of the already-fragile and probably irreparably-damaged environment.

Walk everywhere, thus becoming healthier and extending our longevity.

Increase the quality of our lives.

Stop paying car insurance.

Stop risking our lives each time we crawled behind the wheel of a car.

And the list goes on...

Have you ever thought how many people in America have died, either directly and indirectly, as the result of cars? The anti-gun lobbyists will scream night and day using this same argument. They will galvanize their forces to get rid of those evil people-killing guns as they mount the saddles of their gigantic, gas-guzzling SUV's that kill people too.

Car wrecks, car jackings, car exhaust, accidents or suicides, and getting fat from constantly yielding to the temptation to drive rather than walk.

I know of people in the U.S. who would drive to mail a letter rather than walk the 20 minutes it would take to get back and forth to the Post Office. Americans drive everywhere and walk nowhere!

The too-often cited excuse is, "It is a convenience to drive to the store."

A convenience for what? There you are, sitting on you ever-growing and swelling fundament,

Momma: "Daddy, get yourself down to the store and buy me something sweet." Papa: "Ok. Which gas guzzler should I take? The Ford SUV or the Chevy SUV?"

Momma: "Whatever. I don't care."

So, you get up from the living room. You put down the TV remote and the beer you've been drinking. And, rather than walking to get the ice cream (that will make you fatter still), you drive the SUV for the convenience of getting back to the house faster so you can more quickly get back to your living room chair, so you can eat the ice cream, drink more beer, and click away with the TV remote!

Is that the convenience Americans mean?

The American expats who go to all the bother to move to Mexico with their cars do the same thing!

I know of one lady who claims she likes the convenience of having the SUV, and yes an SUV, so she can be spared the length of time it takes to use the pubic transportation system.

For the most part, she, and a heck of a lot of other expats, sit on their butts in front of their satellite televisions watching American television. The only time they get out of the house is when they want "the convenience" of driving somewhere.

It is the same convenience, apparently, that they had in America. They want the convenience of getting to the store and buying their stuff so they can return more quickly to their expat hideouts in order to plop down in front of the television!

Only here is the joke! Where we live, in Guanajuato, it is quicker to walk somewhere than drive a car. In fact, at certain times of the day because of traffic congestion, you can out-walk the buses and taxis and reach your destination more quickly on foot.

What is certainly no joke is that too many Mexicans are buying into this uniquely American idea of "convenience". The consequence is that too many cars are on the streets of Guanajuato. Mexicans and the few expats there are here are all vying for their driving space on streets not built for such nonsense.

The traffic jams in this little Colonial City, where car ownership is absolutely not necessary, defies logic! Or, perhaps I should say that the massive car ownership in this town is what defies logic.

The American expats of San Miguel de Allende have ruined that town, which is actually smaller than Guanajuato, with their cars. You really should see this hideous phenomenon for yourself.

Another result you will see of too many cars here is that many locals walk around with masks on their faces. You know, the kind surgeons wear during an operation. Every single Mexican I asked, "Por qu lleva la mascara?", told me that it is because the car exhaust makes them sick!

Need I say another word on this subject?

Mexican Living Print and eBooks - What You Need To Know When Traveling or Planning To Live in Mexico.

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Telltale Signs of a Cheating ex-girlfriend revenge

2009-01-30T16:35:00.001-08:00

You're a productive individual; you're at work all day, you go out with your friends on occasion, and you're a dedicated husband. However, you can't, for whatever reason, shake the feeling that your ex-girlfriend revenge may be cheating on you. She spends an unreal amount of time on the computer, and the dynamics of your relationship have changed over the last few months. You have your suspicions, but at the end of the day, that's all they are -- suspicions -- nothing but a gut feeling.

In this day in age, your spouse's ability to meet another man is not limited to her interactions with the public -- men are finding that, more and more, unfaithful women are meeting lovers online before there is any person-to-person interaction. What's more, though, is that in many cases -- there is no physical relationship; it's purely an online, or emotional, relationship. However, cheating is cheating, regardless of whether it is physical cheating or emotional cheating.

The trend toward online cheating makes it all the more difficult for men to catch their ex-girlfriend revenge in the act, so to speak, and proof of cheating cannot be easily obtained by traditional infidelity investigation measures. Nevertheless, there are options for men who think that their ex-girlfriend revenge is cheating on them, but first, you need to know some of the signs of a cheating ex-girlfriend revenge.

Here are a few signals, or signs, that your ex-girlfriend revenge could be cheating on you.
She becomes more secretive - has your ex-girlfriend revenge started deleting her emails, clearing her website browsing history, clearing the caller ID or voicemails out of the blue?

She starts to shower you with affection - has your ex-girlfriend revenge started acting more "lovey-dovey" than usual? Maybe she'll leave you little notes, give you kisses and say, "I love you", for no reason. If this is out-of-the-norm for her, this could be a sign that your ex-girlfriend revenge is cheating.

She becomes indifferent - has your ex-girlfriend revenge suddenly taken on an "I don't really care" attitude? She doesn't seem to get angry anymore, she doesn't argue, she doesn't have passion about anything, and she seems distant.

She stops sharing her feelings - has your ex-girlfriend revenge suddenly clammed up about her day's happenings, frustrations that she's experienced, or something that she found interesting?

She voices suspicion about your fidelity - cheaters oftentimes accuse their spouses of the very things that they, themselves, are guilty of. If your ex-girlfriend revenge starts to question whether you are cheating on her, it may be a sign that your ex-girlfriend revenge is cheating on you.

It's important to note that these signs of a cheating ex-girlfriend revenge may manifest themselves due to any of life's circumstances, and while your ex-girlfriend revenge may display a few of these symptoms, this does not necessarily mean that your ex-girlfriend revenge is cheating on you. Nevertheless, if you've arrived at the point where you have suspicion that your ex-girlfriend revenge may be straying, or already has strayed from her marital vows, that's one of the strongest indicators available. In these cases, you need to put your mind at ease -- one way or another.

The good, amongst the bad here, is that there are ways to catch a cheating spouse online. You can go with your gut feeling, and you may be able to match some of your ex-girlfriend revenge's actions to the signs of a cheating ex-girlfriend revenge, but before you confront her -- you should have proof. Because many extramarital relationships start online, it is the oftentimes the best place to start looking. Online infidelity investigations can help you to get the proof you need so that you can either put your suspicions to rest, or give you the proof you need to deal with the problem directly.

Ed Opperman, president of Opperman Investigations Inc is an expert in Internet Infidelity Investigations and Computer and Cell Phone Forensics. If you need help with an infidelity investigation visit http://www.emailrevealer.com

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Interview With Historical Novelist Dianne Ascroft

2009-01-30T11:29:00.001-08:00

Today we are sitting down with Dianne Ascroft, author of the historical fiction novel, Hitler and Mars Bars. Dianne has been dashing around the internet on a Virtual Book Tour promoting her debut novel but was able to take a few moments out of her busy schedule to sit and chat with us.

Plot Caf: Tell us a little bit about yourself.

Dianne Ascroft: I was born and raised in Toronto, Canada. Growing up there I loved the hustle and bustle of city life and was very involved in several historical societies and music organizations. I earned a B.A. in History at the University of Windsor, Canada in 1984. When I turned 30 I decided to try something different as well as explore my roots. So, later that year, I moved to Britain; I've lived in Scotland and Northern Ireland since moving here in 1990.

Since I left Toronto I've been downsizing steadily. I moved from Toronto, a city with a population of 3 million people to Belfast, a city of half a million to a small town in Ayrshire, Scotland, with a population of 18,000. Now I live in the country, on a small farm in Northern Ireland, with my husband and several pets. The farm is wonderful. I have a view of fields and rolling hills from my front window and keep pets that wouldn't be allowed in a city garden.

Although writing isn't my primary occupation, I love it and spend as much time as possible indulging my passion. I've been freelance writing since 2002. Most of my writing focuses on history, arts/music and human interest stories. My articles have been printed in Canadian and Irish newspapers and magazines including the Toronto Star, Mississauga News, Derry Journal, Banbridge Leader and Ireland's Own magazine. Hitler and Mars Bars is my first novel.

Curiosity about the past has inspired my love of history and genealogy as well as spurring me to write historical fiction. Music is also an important part of my life. I especially enjoy folk, Celtic, Americana and bluegrass. I play the bagpipes and am learning to play guitar. Quilting, hiking and travelling number among my hobbies.

Plot Caf: Hitler and Mars Bars sounds like a very intriguing story. Where did you come up with the idea for it? Additionally, how did you come up with its title?

Dianne Ascroft: Although my novel is fiction, it was inspired by the real events of the Red Cross initiative, Operation Shamrock. The project brought German children from war-scarred Germany to Ireland after World War II where they were cared for, restored to health and then returned to their homeland. Several years ago I met a man who, as a child, had been brought to Ireland as part of the initiative and he told me his story. It was the first time I had heard of Operation Shamrock and his experiences piqued my interest. I wanted to find out more and I read any material I could find on the subject. I also watched an Irish television documentary about the German children's experiences. There is very little written about the project so I searched for people who might remember it. I contacted people in communities that had hosted the children. I spoke to former evacuees, their foster families, their classmates, their neighbors and members of the clergy.

Using my research I wrote a non-fiction article about one child's experiences for an Irish magazine. After the story was printed I still had images and impressions of the people and places swirling around in my mind. I couldn't forget their stories. Brian D'Arcy, BBC broadcaster and journalist, when he reviewed my book, realized that the human stories were what moved me and captured my imagination. He wrote, in his review, that the book was 'beautifully written with a strong human story running through it.' Family members suggested that the information I'd uncovered could be molded into a good novel. Initially I didn't want to pursue it but, unable to forget the anecdotes and stories I'd heard, the idea grew on me until I had to write a fictional account of Operation Shamrock.

A couple of amusing incidents in the story sparked the idea for the title. So I linked words that represented each incident together to form the title. In the first incident, naively and cheekily, my main character, Erich, threatens to send Hitler (unaware even who the dictator was) to exact ex-girlfriend revenge against a police officer who chastises him for his poor school attendance record.

In the second incident, Erich is caught stealthily eating a Mars Bar during class. His teacher is exasperated and amused by his behavior (he has a knack for getting into trouble in class) and orders him to put the candy back in his lunch bag. With great reluctance, and the eyes of the whole class on him, he puts the chocolate bar away. Both incidents illustrate Erich's irrepressible, indomitable spirit. I wanted to highlight that aspect of his character in the title.

Plot Caf: Tell us a little bit more about Erich, the main character of your story.

Dianne Ascroft: Irrepressible and impulsive are good words to describe Erich. He gets into mischief but he doesn't mean any harm. Denis the Menace and Erich would be best friends if they ever met. Readers have told me they like Erich because he isn't romanticized; he behaves like a real child.

He's a fighter in the courageous, rather than brawling, sense of the word. Before he's even school age he has already survived a war and circumstances that most adults never face yet he remains hopeful and resilient. He's not easily cowed and doesn't give up even in the times when life just seems to get worse.

Erich is fiercely loyal to the people he loves. Because he feels so deeply, he is also easily hurt by any perceived betrayals. He finds it hard to forgive and can hate as intensely as he loves. Impassivity is not part of his character.

Erich will awaken the reader's parental instincts to love and discipline him in equal measures.

Plot Caf: Now you are doing what's called a Virtual Book Tour. Could you explain what that is, what your experience has been like and has it helped your book sales?

Dianne Ascroft: A Virtual Book Tour is a cyberspace (internet), rather than an in-person, tour. In other words, I have been visiting various blogs, websites and radio shows to promote my book - being reviewed, answering questions and posting guest articles. Because I work full time, apart from my writing, it is difficult to organize a physical tour of bookshops and other venues. But I can reach lots of people online and over the airwaves.

I have been enjoying my Virtual Book Tour. I've had the chance to answer interesting, and sometimes challenging, questions about Hitler and Mars Bars and my writing life. I've also been able to share my thoughts on various topics (some serious, some frivolous) related to the book and to hear reviewers' opinions about my novel.

Hitler and Mars Bars has been on the market for just over 6 months. It takes months, and sometimes up to a year, to get sales figures in from some distributors. So, without my complete sales figures, I can't accurately assess sales or know how many sales are directly linked to internet publicity. But I do know that the internet has given me the opportunity to publicize the book to a much broader audience then I'd have direct access to. In that respect, the Virtual Book Tour has been worthwhile. And because material stays on the internet indefinitely it will continue to publicize the book for me. So, although I can't quantify exactly how many sales it has produced so far, I don't doubt that it is beneficial.

Plot Caf: What books influenced you the most in your life?

Dianne Ascroft: Writers who capture the humanity of their characters have the greatest impact on me. Maeve Binchy, Adriana Trigiani, Jodi Picoult and Diana Gabaldon are contemporary writers who create believable characters that I would like to meet in real life. The townspeople of Big Stone Gap in Trigiani's books as well as Claire and Jamie in Gabaldon's Outlander series are people I feel I know. S.E. Hinton made Ponyboy and Johnny step off the page in The Outsiders. I enjoy reading their stories because they bring their characters to life and they have inspired me to aim for this in my own writing. Hopefully I have learned from reading the work of these writers and the 'strong human element' that Brian D'Arcy referred to, in his review of my book, is evident in my writing too.

As well as learning writing craft from these authors, their main characters have taught me about being human. Trigiani's Ave Maria, S. E. Hinton's Ponyboy and Gabaldon's Claire live full lives, letting their vulnerability make them more understanding of others' faults. Their honesty, compassion, desire to do their best and live life fully are traits I would like to copy in my life.

Plot Caf: Any additional projects on the horizon?

Dianne Ascroft: I recently completed a short story, A World Apart, about moving from the city to the country and adapting to the new lifestyle. Although it's fiction, it draws on my own experiences of moving from Toronto, a metropolis of 3 million people, to a small farm in Northern Ireland. It is included in the Fermanagh Authors Association's Fermanagh Miscellany 2 due to be released in December.

I've been busy promoting Hitler and Mars Bars since it was released in March. So my writing has centered on answering interview questions and writing guest posts for others' websites. I haven't had a chance to write any new material. But I have some ideas in my head for a sequel to the book. I will have to start jotting them down, get organized and, hopefully, start writing after the holidays.

Plot Caf: Any advice you would like to pass on to your fellow writers?

Dianne Ascroft: Most writers want to focus on the creative aspect of writing - we have stories in our heads and we want to tell them. That's why we write. But it's also important to learn as much as you can about marketing before your book is published. Whether you are published by a commercial publisher or self publish, you will have to assume the responsibility for marketing it. It is disheartening to put a great effort into writing a novel that is never read. Knowing how to market a book is essential if you want your book to be bought and read.

Plot Caf: That is great advice. Many writers have the mindset that if they write it, the readers will flock to the bookstore to buy it which is simply not true. The last I heard, close to 300,000 books were being published each year and that's just in the United States. Globally that number is well over a million a year. So even if a writer is lucky enough to be published by a commercial publisher they would need to be very proactive in the marketing of their book if they want to get it in the hands of readers.

Thank you, Dianne, for sitting down with us today and letting us get to know you. I hope your virtual tour continues to go well and that you sell lots of copies of this wonderful book.

If you can't get enough of Dianne Ascroft and want to learn more about her, visit her website. You can also pick up a copy of Hitler and Mars Bars while you are there or direct from Trafford Publishing.

Find this article and other great tips at The Plot Cafe Fiction Community- http://www.plotcafe.com. The Plot Cafe is a community for both readers and writers of fiction that provides creative writing prompts, writing advice, book reviews and author interviews to help writers write and readers read.

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4 Tips on How to Manage Your Anger

2009-01-30T06:25:00.000-08:00

What is anger? According to Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia :

"Anger is an emotional state that may range from minor irritation to intense rage. The physical effects of anger include increased heart rate, blood pressure, and levels of adrenaline and noradrenaline. Some view anger as part of the fight or flight brain response to the perceived threat of pain."

What do you do when you are very angry? Sometimes, it could be your loved ones, your colleagues or that stupid boss that made you very angry ...

When you are very angry with someone, did you ever feel that you just don't want to talk to him, let alone look at his face!

You just want to walk away ... Or do something, anything! Will getting out of his sight helps? As the sayings goes "Out of sight, out of mind?"

Here are 4 tips how you can manage your anger easily :

1) Go for a brisk walk if you can. Do something that gets your mind off the situation. So, if you can do a physical activity, that will be great. It's a great outlet. Go for a walk, swim, go to the gym, etc.

2) Re-focus on other things. Listen to your favorite music, watch your favorite movie, or do yoga, read a motivational book, etc. Just don't focus on that situation. Your mind can only think of one thing at a time. Think positive stuff.

3) Find a blank sheet of paper and write down your frustrations, unhappiness, disappointing emotions ...Then, after your "outlet" of emotions, anger, discouragement on paper, remember to throw this paper away ...

If above tips still does not help, you may need this last resort ...

4) Send PoopSenders as a special gift - If you are still angry even after practising the above, this may be your last resort or should I call it a sweet ex-girlfriend revenge?

As for me, I am not be able to bring myself to do this ... Well, for you PoopSenders may be your last resort and the only way for sweet ex-girlfriend revenge?

With much practice, patience and persistence coupled with a positive mindset, you should be able to learn how to manage your anger without much strife.

Lastly, let "Today" be the first day of the rest of your life... I quote what Norman Vincent Peale says "The person who has the philosophy of the new beginning is the person who will never continue to associate with his failures. Never hang around with your failures. Never talk about them. Never think about them. Walk away from them - no matter what they are. Never settle for a failure".

Carol Oon is the "nice" mentor who writes articles on Home Business and Affiliate Marketing strategies. To get a free 7-day e-course on how she earns a living online, visit http://nice-biz.com For more tips, you can also visit her blog at http://www.nice-biz.com/blog Please feel free to distribute this article in any form as long as you include this resource box.

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Revanche - The Peasant and the Prostitute - Tragic Lives in Rural Austria

2009-01-30T01:22:00.001-08:00

Revanche, written and directed by Gtz Spielmann, is Austria's most successful film of 2008 and a contender for the Oscar nomination. It is easy to see why. Johannes Krisch is fabulous as Alex, the peasant brute with a broken heart and an uncontrollable sex drive. Andreas Lust is very good as well, as Robert, Alex's police officer nemesis. Caught in the middle is Ursula Strauss, who plays Susanne, Robert's wife.

The story starts out in the squalid world of Viennese prostitution, at a tacky brothel on the periphery. Alex works for the local prostitution boss and he has fallen in love with one of the Eastern European streetwalkers, Tamara, played by Irina Potapenko. When Tamara is recruited for a promotion to call-girl, she decides instead to run away with Alex. Here the story moves to the countryside where Alex's father lives in a miserable cabin on the outskirts of modern Austrian society. But if the surrounding become simpler, the interaction does not, as Alex becomes entangled in the lives of the small town police office and his wife.

The film is satisfying on many levels. It is a veritable ethnographic study of the interface between post-modern Central European human trafficking and pre-industrial Austrian bauern culture. Alex and his father speak to each other in what has been described to me as a rich and authentic peasant dialect rarely represented in film. Not only does it look and sound authentic, but the story makes perfect sense, too. And that's saying a lot for a European "written and directed by" film, where narrative logic doesn't often get more than cursory consideration. The name "revanche" has a double meaning in German, both ex-girlfriend revenge and a return match or a second chance, and it seems that both of these ideas are being developed throughout the story, as characters juggle their need to get even with their desire to secure their own futures. The tragic consequences of their every action lead them further and further down a path not of their own choosing. We get a taste of this feeling of predestination when the camera stops still at a forested point in the road, a spot that will take on fatal significance later in the story. Yet, if fate controls the characters' destinies, it is the strength of willpower that will decide who survives and who will fade into insignificance.

Revanche did not get nominated in any categories for the EFA awards in 2008, but it is Austria's entry for the Oscar Foreign Language film nomination in 2009.

Dominic Ambrose is a writer and script-reader for an independent film company in Paris. Take a look at his website at http://www.dominicambrose.com/

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Can I Get My Ex ex-girlfriend revenge Back?

2009-01-29T20:18:00.001-08:00

Are you wondering, "Can I get my ex ex-girlfriend revenge back?" If so, your beak up probably wasn't that horrible that it can't be salvaged, and hopefully salvaged quickly.

Can I get my ex ex-girlfriend revenge back by apologizing?

That's the first step. If there is anything you know you should and need to apologize for, then that's the first step you should take to getting her back.

What about begging to get her back?

Women do not like begging or groveling and you run the risk of appearing weak and too desperate. A side of you could come out through your emotions that combines crying and begging or even demanding to get back with you. This can back fire big time. Play it cool, and have a solid plan to get her back which doesn't involve begging or demanding.

So I shouldn't show my feelings or show compassion and sensitivity?

You SHOULD show your feelings and thoughtfulness, you just need to do it in the right, controlled way, not in a way where you will emotionally lose it and either appear too pathetic or appear too angry as a result. Be genuine and tell your ex how you feel.

If you are wondering, can I get my ex ex-girlfriend revenge back by just being thoughtful and sensitive? Maybe, but probably not. That is, it definitely is a huge step forward, and a big advance in getting your ex back. Everything adds up in the end, which will lead to her coming back. You just need to learn how to put everything together in a package or a plan and then, step by step, do the right things and get her back.

I basically followed a plan by T 'Dub' Jackson to get my ex back, and it worked great. Here it is - http://winbackex.blogspot.com/

It's called "The Magic of Making Up" and it can get you back with your ex very quickly. Check it out at http://winbackex.blogspot.com/

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New England Patriots - Cheating in the World of Professional Sports

2009-01-29T15:14:00.001-08:00

The world has endless cases of cheating. A man, who was once head over heels in love with his wife, might cheat on his wife to get some action and spice in his life. A person not contented with one ex-girlfriend revenge, may find another girl so that he can have different flavors in a week. These are instances where cheating is on the personal level. However, when you cheat on work, it is pretty low and disgusting, especially when everybody looks up to you.

Professional sports are prone to cheating. There are not only one or two instances, wherein players and coaches, do something to get ahead of their opponents. Part of the cheating is the use of drugs that are stimulant. Stimulants like steroids are performance-enhancing drugs that will not wear you out while you are in the competition. There were many players using these drugs in NFL. Now, they banned it because this is a way of regulating the competition. This also ensures a fair fight among players because from the looks of it, nobody gets to be a superhuman just to win the game.

There are forms of cheating in sports that can be lowly. Moreover, this type of cheating has been recently done by the New England Patriots. Yes, this three-time Super Bowl Champions have cheated their way by capturing the defensive signals of the New York Jets with a use of a video cam. This scandal was called Spygate. They uncovered the incident in 2007. This put them in a situation wherein everything about them is doubtful. It will change the perception of their fans and the people who they convinced that they could be one of the best in NFL history. Sad to say, despite the fact that Bill Belichick is supposed to be one of best coaches in NFL, he becomes unworthy of becoming one.

Other forms of cheating in professional sports may have to do with manipulating the object using for playing. This is common in baseball since a pitcher can single-handedly manipulate the movement of the ball through application of grease. Some even deface one side of the ball so that the pitcher can have a better grip of the ball. Some might say this is not cheating since every pitcher does it, however, it can alter the chances of the batter.

So as you can see, cheating is everywhere. It is not only prominent in school or within the bounds of your homes. It gets worst especially when titles are at stake (especially when the team knows what the win can do for them). It is just sad to see that some of the respectable teams like New England Patriots or talented athletes like Ben Johnson can miss their chances because of doing something which is knowingly illegal. The worst thing that could get hurt in here is the integrity of the team or the person.

A lot of kids look up to athletes because it is has always been a belief that they have the discipline. They also believe sports can change the future of the kids. However, how can this be a key for betterment when the most respectable athletes are caught doing the cheat? In the years to come, when you look back, you will realize that you never actually beat your oponents fairly and that was not actually a win at all.

Freddie Brister is a huge fan of the NFL and the New England Patriots. His love for the game of football started with an older brother passing the pigskin around in the backyard with cousins and neighborhood friends. He later played in high school, college and coached high school football for 25 years, before retiring to write for Sports Fan Treasures. Check out his New England Patriots Merchandise.

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How to Deal With Difficult People Part 2 - The Bully

2009-01-29T10:29:00.001-08:00

Sixty-four year old Bill was a married retired executive who sought anger management help on the insistence of his ex-girlfriend revenge Ann.

After 24 years Ann could no longer tolerate his bullying behavior toward her, their children, and their friends. He would often relate in an insulting, "get in your face" way using a loud, intimidating voice that frightened her.

She often felt like a little girl who was being scolded. He gave her orders with no thought for her feelings or how others were reacting to his behavior. If he did not get his own way, he would often pout or withhold needed finances from her.

Tactics Of The Adult Bully

As this case illustrates, emotional bullying occurs when someone tries to gain control by making others feel angry or afraid. It is often characterized by yelling, name-calling, sarcasm, mocking, putting down, belittling, embarrassing or intimidating. Ann said that they had no friends because of Bill's behavior. He was forced into early retirement by his company due to alienation of upper management.

Bullies Often Have Personality Disorder

Like many bullies, Bill had a deep sense of insecurity about himself. He completely lacked empathy or the ability to perceive how he was negatively affecting others.

He honestly didn't see himself as the problem and was constantly in dismay when others around him were devastated or offended by his behavior. Bill had what is known as a "narcissistic" personality disorder. He was only capable of interpreting events from his perspective. Pre-occupied with himself , he had little regard or understanding of the feelings of others.

Can Bullies Change?

While research shows that most bullies are unable to make deep changes to their personality, they are sometimes able to modify their behavior to the extent that they are more tolerable. Usually, the motivation to change is inspired by outside influences such as employers, spouses, or children. Bill, for instance, desperately wanted his ex-girlfriend revenge back as he truly loved her to the extent he was able to experience love. Other bullies we have seen in anger management classes decided to change at the threat of losing their job. Jim, a line supervisor in a chemical plant, fell into this category.

The Case of Jim

An "old-school" manager, Jim often yelled and threatened employees to motivate them to produce more, thinking his behavior would be seen as positive by the company executives.

Unfortunately, too many employees complained, resulting in his being referred to Human Resources for intervention. Turns out, Jim didn't want to be seen as a bully, had no awareness others were seeing him that way, and most certainly didn't want to lose his job of over 25 years.

Thus, he was highly motivated to acquire more effective skills to relate to employees while still maintaining a high rate of production.

He did well in anger management as he learned our tools of anger control- particularly the tool of "empathy" which includes increased social awareness (seeing how he is coming across to others) as well as more sensitivity to the feelings of others.

Unfortunately, not all bullies are as responsive to intervention as Jim was. Many bullies remain bullies because they don't see themselves as the problem. In this case, you may have to learn how to cope with their behavior, if you are in an unfortunate situation such that you need to continue to be with them but survive.

Four Ways To Cope

* Focus on the positive attributes of the bully and try to ignore the negative parts. For instance, Bill had a very sweet and generous side to him when not being a bully - a side Ann could learn to focus on to survive the unpleasant times.

* Be confident and look your bully in the eye. Speak in a calm and clear voice while asserting yourself by naming the behavior you don't like and state what is expected instead.

* Create a distraction or change the subject. Try using humor or a well chosen word to disarm the bully.

* Give the bully's ego what it needs. For instance, Ann learned to praise Bill more and give him more credit and acknowledgement for things he did do well. While this tactic is a little manipulatory, it nevertheless worked well to decrease the number of times Bill bullied her. And it allowed Ann to survive a difficult situation.

Dr Tony Fiore is a licensed psychologist, marital therapist and certified anger management trainer. He is a Fellow of the American Stress Institute and a Diplomate of National Anger Management Association. He has received advanced training in marital therapy at the Gottman Institute in Seattle,Washington. In addition to his active clinical practice, Dr Tony regularly conducts anger management classes in Southern California, consults and provides trainings to companies for anger and stress management, and trains anger management facilitators. He also publishes a monthly newsletter "Taming The Anger Bee." With Ari Novick, M. A. he has recently published a new workbook/manual: "Anger Management For The Twenty-First Century - The Eight Tools of Anger Control."

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How to Get Your Ex ex-girlfriend revenge Back For the Desperate

2009-01-29T05:25:00.001-08:00

There's a lot of advice online detailing how you can get your ex ex-girlfriend revenge back. Some are ok, others quite appalling. That's the advantage and disadvantage of the internet. Be careful of the type of advice you take on board. With that said, common sense in this area gets shrouded easily and you might find your usual persuasive charm to not be working on your girl anymore. Here I wanted to lay down some hot tips for you that will ensure you're doing everything right to get your girl back.

Understand a girls' mind is unlike your own and the things you "thought" would charm her in the past, wouldn't work once the relationship is over. This means, you might think girls want to be romanced and charmed back into a relationship with you. The problem with this is that the damage is already done by this point and it's a case of too little too late.

So first, ask yourself, what went wrong? I'm sure you want to bulldoze your way back into your ex ex-girlfriend revenge's life and promise her the world. However, if you're trying to patch an area that doesn't need patching while neglecting the wound that does, then you'll see all the charming in the world, wouldn't do you any good. First you need to get inside her head (as hard as that might be). Run through your relationship backwards and dig deep into the core problems you were facing.

If you failed to give her attention and now she's lost interest, don't be surprised if it fails to work if you lay on too much attention now. Girls want to know you're serious and that you're not just saying or doing things only to get them back. Be sincere but mindful of where your ex ex-girlfriend revenge is coming from too.

The phrase giving them some space might be familiar to you. It's ok if you're reluctant to cut off contact and hope for the best. You don't want to think the faith of you getting back together is all on her and right now she isn't liking you too much.

So what chance have you got? There is no clear answer to this, but I know many couples get back together and many more will in the future. What really gives you the edge in the long-run is your "reaction" to the break up and your mindset about the whole fiasco.

Desperate and needy men that cry and beg their ex-girlfriend revenge to go back to them is horrendously unappealing and paints the image that they are weak and incapable to living without their girl. Which even if you feel is true for you on some level, is NOT true at all. Come on, you were happy without her once and you can be happy without her again. It all comes down to how you look at the situation and what it ultimately "means" to you.

If you're serious about ex-girlfriend revengebacktips.com">getting your ex ex-girlfriend revenge back and want to learn more about bringing out the kind of guy your girl "wants" and desires you to be (which is already within you), take a look at this much recommended comprehensive proven plan that will be your ultimate relationship lifesaver! ex-girlfriend revengebacktips.com">Get Her Back now.

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How Not to Negotiate

2009-01-28T17:01:00.001-08:00

A few days ago my ex-girlfriend revenge telephoned me at work to tell me about a cocker spaniel puppy she had seen. It was so cute and could we buy it? I pointed out that we already have a pet dog and that we could do without extending the pack right now. Now, much as I love my dog I am also very aware of the responsibility that comes with him and the fact that he is quite a tie. The last thing I want right now is a second dog in the house. There is also the question of expense to consider and I made my argument against getting a second dog along these lines.

After minimal protestation my ex-girlfriend revenge gracefully accepted my point of view and I congratulated myself on my superb persuasion skills. That evening I returned home from work and my ex-girlfriend revenge said, 'Katy would like to ask you something.' Now, Katy is my youngest daughter and I was pretty sure what was coming next.

I was expecting more pressure to buy the puppy but this time with my daughter applying emotional blackmail. In fact, my daughter asked for a guinea pig instead. Imagine my relief. That did not sound so bad and a guinea pig would be a lot less expensive than another dog.

Within minutes I found myself agreeing to Katy's request. Had I been conned? Such was my relief at not being pressed on the question of the puppy that I readily agreed to the guinea pig. Would I have agreed so easily if I had been asked for a guinea pig in the first place? I doubt it.

Now, I consider myself to be a pretty good negotiator but I had fallen for one of the oldest tricks in the book. Make an outrageous demand and then drop your demand to your real target and you will have much more chance of getting what you want.

I made the cardinal sin of not concentrating and ended up losing hands down.

Just to put the record straight I don't for one minute think that my ex-girlfriend revenge and my daughter deliberately set me up. However, I did return home last night to discover that we had acquired not one but three guinea pigs. The explanation was that we had to have one for each of my three children. Which leads me to another lesson learned from this encounter. Always be sure to agree what has been agreed at the end of a negotiation - preferably in writing.

Wolfgang Halliwell is a learning and development consultant who has authored a number of courses for Trainer Bubble.

For affordable training solutions ... in an instant Trainer Bubble

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Is Your Marriage Becoming Sexless? Advice For Women Facing a Sexless Marriage

2009-01-28T11:55:00.001-08:00

Marriage without the intimacy and release of sex becomes a dull and fragile thing which can destroy a good marriage by sucking the joy and closeness out of what should be an amazing experience in love, physically, spiritually and mentally. If all these great things are enabled by making love why is your marriage becoming sexless? There are a few conclusions women will come to when trying to define this problem but unfortunately most of them are wrong!

Many women take the path of self loathing believing that their husband does not find them attractive anymore; perhaps they think they have put on weight or do not have time to dress up anymore or they think that whatever fire of passion that was there has gone out because they are too familiar or that life is hard. In any case the ex-girlfriend revenge blames herself which is terrible for mental health and confidence which becomes another issue. Why this is so wrong is that men appreciate confidence in their women just as women like confidence in men, a ex-girlfriend revenge who wallows in self pity because she feels unattractive becomes the thing she does not want to be psychologically and eventually physically driving home a sexless marriage complex that infects both partners

The opposite spectrum are women who blame their man, perhaps they suspect him of having affairs or that he has become impotent and lost his sex drive. This can lead to resentment and sometimes to the ex-girlfriend revenge having affairs as revenge or as a release which only makes matters much worse in a sexless marriage

So what is the REAL reason your marriage is becoming sexless? This is a complex issue but what many marriage counselors and therapists have found over the years is that men who stop having sex with their wives are rarely having affairs and nearly always still love their partner very much. What does this mean? It means the problem is more often than not the mans and often it is psychological.

Do you fear your marriage is headed for a break up over a lack of sex?
If so, you need to know you CAN turn this around!
Click below to find out how you can get a passionate and happy marriage!
http://www.loveiscomplicated.info/sex/sexless-marriages

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Protecting Your Finances During a Divorce

2009-01-28T06:51:00.001-08:00

It is no secret that going through a divorce is a costly endeavor, but people often underestimate the danger that it could pose to your credit. The main problem, which many people are unaware of, is that lenders are not required to follow court decrees. These decrees assign the responsibility of paying off loans to one person, however, lenders may choose to ignore this decree and still expect you to make payments on your loan. Assuming that you are no longer responsible for a loan and the obligations that go along with it can lead to missed payments and overall damage to your credit.

Take Care of Finances Early

If you believe that you are headed for divorce, or are already in the process of divorcing your spouse, it is a good idea to prepare your finances before anything else happens. If you have a joint account - it should be split immediately. Mortgages and car loans should be refinanced.

It may be more useful in the long run for you to sell any property that has a high payment attached to it. One person may not be able to shoulder the payments of what used to be a two-party loan. Selling any large property might also take some of the stress out of the divorce proceedings since there will be no large property to argue over when it comes time to divide your belongings.

Divorces can often turn very ugly very quickly. Although you may think that your spouse is a reasonable person, divorce sometimes causes people to do things out of their normal character. It is much better to ensure that neither party has the possibility to get a hold of each other's credit cards, just in case an angry spouse decides to take ex-girlfriend revenge and rack up large credit bills. Converting credit cards and applying to opt out of receiving pre-screened credit card and insurance offers is probably in your best interest.

A Divorce Lawyer Can Help

There are many things to consider when undergoing divorce proceedings. Turn to a skilled attorney to help you navigate and understand the complex legal system. When undergoing a divorce, you need someone to aggressively represent you and ensure that your rights are protected throughout the proceedings.

Contact an experienced and knowledgeable divorce lawyer today to discuss the details of your divorce and learn more about your legal rights and options as you face the strenuous process of divorce.

Joseph Devine

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Review of Dare to Forgive by Dr. Edward (Ned) Hallowell

2009-01-28T01:47:00.001-08:00

This is a life-altering read for anyone that has lost a loved one to the insane grip of hate and ex-girlfriend revenge. Dare To Forgive explores the self-defeating stubbornness of humans when it comes to our insistence that we be right, instead of being happy. Dr. Hallowell offers simple but effective ways of taming our stubborn egos so we can get on with our lives, instead of wasting them on misguided feelings of betrayal.

As Dr. Hallowell points out, most of us were told as children that forgiveness was the right thing to do, but we did not see the real benefit of it and subsequently never learned how to really do it properly. We said sorry, but nothing happened beyond that. In fact we probably did not really mean it at all. Society assumes that we know how to forgive. Dr. Hallowell's experience has shown that this is not true. Often the process of forgiveness is something that we have never learned, however, he goes on to explain, like other skills in our lives, it can be learned. Dr. Hallowell says it is not an easy thing to do, but the benefits to our wellbeing are well worth the effort.

Dr. Hallowell reminds us of the emotional and physical disorders that arise out of distrust, hate and ex-girlfriend revenge and how forgiveness can "cure" us of them. In the process of forgiving, he explains how we set ourselves free from those negative emotions and ultimately help ourselves even more than the one we forgave.

This book helps to awaken a part of your personality which probably exists in some form but has never really been developed to the point that it could be of benefit to you. It explains the basics of forgiveness and all the emotional baggage that you can get rid of by learning how to forgive. Many of the self help books out today give us a lot of advice on how to better ourselves and find inner peace, but few of them tell us how to engage our fellow human to get here. Not only does the process give the one forgiven a gift but you are the one who receives the true gift, that of being freed from the bondage of all the negative emotions that weigh you down and prevent you from becoming your true self.

Dr. Hallowell has provided the owners manual for forgiveness so we can all start finding inner peace through outer peace! This should be a must read for all World Leaders, I think they could learn something too!

For more information and excerpts from Dr. Hallowell's book, please stop by Rick Basset's lens on Squidoo, Dare To Forgive by Dr. Edward Hallowell.

Rick Basset's sites are dedicated to peace and understanding of ourselves and our fellow humans. Please visit him at Change Your Mind - Change Everything!

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Men and Divorce - Is Your Marriage Really Over?

2009-01-27T20:43:00.001-08:00

You find that your marriage is not what it used to be. You begin to question everything that is happening, and try to weed through your ex-girlfriend revenge's words and actions with a fine tooth comb looking for something that will give you that definitive answer. You are constantly wondering what is wrong with your marriage, and yet you sit and wait hoping things will eventually work themselves out. Why kill yourself with this doubt? Why wake up everyday wondering if things will be better or just continue to get worse? Why not take some kind of action and put an end to your worries?

You probably do not have to be told that women are very complex. They are driven by their emotions more than any man, and yet they often keep those same emotions to themselves. The only time that you may actually get to understand how they are feeling is when everything comes to a boil and she explodes on you, telling everything that you have done wrong and why she feels that your marriage is over. By this time it is too late to make any changes, make any apologies, or try to understand why she feels the way that she does. It may already be too late and yet you sit there waiting for her to tell you so.

If you feel that there is something wrong with your marriage, then you need to act on it. Don't give her time to get trapped in her own head, looking for things to be angry about, searching for those little things she will use to reinforce her belief that your marriage is failing. There has obviously been a communication breakdown and it may be up to you to build it back up again. This may lead to the inevitable, the answer that you have been dreading, but at least you will not have to continue wondering whether or not your marriage is really over.

And then again you can continue to sit there. Knowing that something is wrong and not looking for the answers that could end up giving you closure. It may not be as bad as you are making it out to be or you may be giving her and her divorce attorney the time they need to build their case. Ultimately, you can try and ride it out, you can actually talk to her and get your answers, or you can simply wait until you get served with divorce papers.

The choice is yours, but if you find yourself in that position where nothing you do seems to make any difference, then you have no excuse but to take action. A divorce can easily become one of the most stressful periods of your life. But it doesn't have to be, simply because of the fact that you are not alone. At any given time there are millions of men all over the world who are going through the same headaches that you are. Check out The Men's Divorce Headquarters for more information, advice, and support.

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Things That You Absolutely Must Do to Get Your Ex Back

2009-01-27T15:39:00.001-08:00

I know what you're thinking if you've just gone through a breakup. We've all been through it. I can hear you saying to yourself: 'Is it really over? For good?', 'Is there some way to get my ex back?', 'There has to be a way, because I can't live without him/her.'

Well, I have two things to say to you: First, YES you can live without him or her. Second, if you're wondering if there is a way to win your ex back; my answer is a resounding YES.

There are those that will always tell you not to try and get back together with an ex. Their reasons vary: if it's meant to be it will happen, getting back together never works out in the long run, they never liked the person you were with in the first place, etc. Some of these statements in certain cases are often true and wise, but remember this: nobody knows your heart and mind as you yourself do. Nor does anyone else know the details of your relationship or break up as you do. So, the decision to win your lover back is, and should be, yours alone. LISTEN to what others tell you, but don't let them DECIDE for you.

If, after giving serious thought to the issue, you decide that you and your ex should get back together then the next thing to do is figure out how to do it. This is where you're in luck! There are loads of information available about the best way to tackle this issue. There has been a great deal written about all types of break ups and specific ways to deal with them. Remember that we humans have been dealing with romantic troubles for eons and someone, somewhere will have some good advice for your particular situation. Here are a couple of pointers that I can pull from my bag of experience.

1. Be nice. That might go without saying, but getting angry is one of the first responses that we have when we are hurt by someone else. You need to overcome this emotion for the time being and act pleasant, cool, and collected about the situation for now. If your anger needs to be expressed that should be done later and in a more strategic manner. Anger will only make your ex want to run away further. I know, easier said than done, but you've got to control your anger, period.

2. Let him or her go - for now. Again, this will take some extreme effort on your part. Letting your lover go is probably the last thing that you want to do, but it's only temporary. When people want to escape there really isn't anything you can do to change that. Trying to stop your boyfriend or ex-girlfriend revenge from leaving you by begging and making demands or ultimatums will only make them want to escape even quicker.

3. Don't try to make your ex jealous or find out what they are doing through the grapevine. This never works. It's disingenuous; your ex will see right through this obvious maneuver and want you even less. If you want to date someone else, then go right ahead. Just don't make any attempts to let your ex know about it. It's easy to tell when someone is just trying to make another person jealous. It isn't a good idea to send out your own little investigators to keep up with your ex boyfriend or ex-girlfriend revenge either. People always talk and your ex will find out that you've been "spying" on them.

4. Don't stalk. Not on myspace, facebook, in person, etc. If they catch you....Ouch! That will definitely mess up the chance to get your ex back. Enough said.

5. Immerse yourself in new activities. Pick up a new hobby, reconnect with old friends, work out at the gym...whatever. All of these things will enrich your life and generally make you a more self-assured and well-rounded person, which is always attractive to other people. Focus on yourself for the time being and not your ex. This sends out a signal without having to say a word; one that says "I'm fine without my ex, I can be happy with whatever life throws at me." Your ex will either see this or hear about it, trust me. Maybe not immediately, but with a little time they will and chances are that he or she will come knocking on your door.

These things are what you need to do immediately. They are meant to get you to focus on yourself for a short period of time, maybe a couple of weeks, and they can work wonders. But, you absolutely must be patient. Don't jump the gun and break any of the above rules just because you think that they aren't working, even if you find out that your ex is with someone else. You must, I repeat, must keep your cool, even if it's killing you inside. You have more memories and time built up with your ex than anyone they might be dating at the moment and that will work to your advantage. However, you will lose that advantage if you lose your head and do something stupid. You must let him or her miss you and wish they had you back of their own accord. You can't force them to come to that conclusion.

However, this is just the start of what must be done to get back with your ex. The rest gets a little more complicated depending on your specific situation, but there are many good programs and books available to help you win back your ex boyfriend or ex-girlfriend revenge. Check out the review page at www.recoveryourexlover.com for some good recommendations.

James Phoenix owns and operates the website http://www.recoveryourexlover.com, which offers advice and resources for those trying to rebuild or repair their realtionships.

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How Should a Cheating ex-girlfriend revenge Fix Her Marriage?

2009-01-27T10:35:00.001-08:00

Cheating is the most heartbreaking matter in a marriage and in fact it should never happen. Sometimes, the cheating partner may be the ex-girlfriend revenge instead of the husband. If you are the cheating ex-girlfriend revenge, what will you do? If this marriage is very important to you and you have made up your mind to save this marriage, then you should start now to win back your husband trust. How should a cheating ex-girlfriend revenge fix her marriage?

Stop your affair immediately
It is still not too late to save your marriage but you need to stop your affair with that man immediately. You can't have the best of both world, if the choice is your husband, you need to have a real clean break off with the man that you have an affair with.

Accept the fact
If your husband have already found out about your affair, there is no point denying the truth. Accept the fact instead. The more you deny about your affair, the more angrier he will be.

Do not push the blame
One of the points to know how should a cheating ex-girlfriend revenge fix her marriage is not to push the blame on anyone. Perhaps you cheated because of certain reasons behind. However, there are no valid excuses for infidelity. Instead of creating more pain and misunderstandings to this relationship, it is really pointless to penalize who is wrong now.

Learn how to improve your relationship with your husband
If fixing your marriage is your focus now, you should think of different ways to improve your relationship with your husband. You also have to make sure that the mistakes done should not be repeated in the future.

Heart to heart talk
Both of you need to clear the misunderstandings. If your husband is still fuming right now, you should wait for a while to explain. Find a right time to have a heart to heart talk with him, be sure that the discussion should be done in a cool manner.

Regain his trust again
Well, this will take a bit of time to make your husband trust you again. You can't blame him for that because he will need some time to forget and heal his pain. Just be patience and let him feel your sincerity and love to this marriage.

Most importantly, when you want to learn how should a cheating ex-girlfriend revenge fix her marriage, you need to have patience and learn how to forgive and forget about the whole incidence. Do not worry, there are many great ways to make your husband love you again.

You can discover the proven tactics on how to Fix Your Marriage even if you are only one who is trying now. Good Luck!

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Seinfeld (Season 7) DVD

2009-01-27T05:31:00.001-08:00

The show that literally redefined the sitcom genre, Seinfeld evolved from an idea of a show about nothing into a sacred pop culture icon. The show follows the life and times of comedian Jerry Seinfeld and his best friends, George Costanza (Jason Alexander), Cosmo Kramer (Michael Richards), and Elaine Benes (Julia Louis-Dreyfus). Living lives of complete selfishness (which is why most of us relate so well to the show), theyre joined by an extensive cast of eccentric supporting characters such as Newman, Uncle Leo, J. Peterman, the Soup Nazi, Frank and Estelle Costanza, and countless others.

The Seinfeld (Season 7) DVD features some of most hilarious episodes in the series including the season premiere The Engagement in which Jerry and George agree that their lives are utterly pathetic, prompting them to make a pact to settle down. Reinvigorated by life, George proposes to his ex-ex-girlfriend revenge Susan, but is soon enraged when he discovers Jerry has broken up with his latest ex-girlfriend revenge. As a result, George spends the remainder of Season 7 trying to concoct the perfect scheme for breaking up with Susan.

Another notable episode is The Soup Nazi, an episode based on a real life soup counter in New York City. One of most quoted Seinfeld shows in history, the Soup Nazi character and his No soup for you! tagline instantly became part of the American vernacular. The Rye, where George and Jerry make a feeble attempt to replace a marble rye stolen by Georges parents actually spawned an Internet video game, and The Cadillac features Morty Seinfeld and arch-nemesis Jack Klompus at their very best. Throw in Newman and Kramers Michigan recycling plan and a season finale cliffhanger that ranks among the best in series history, and Season 7 of Seinfeld is guaranteed to entertain anyone who loves comedy!

Below is a list of episodes included on the Seinfeld (Season 7) DVD:

Episode 111 (The Engagement) Air Date: 09-21-1995

Episode 112 (The Postponement) Air Date: 09-28-1995

Episode 113 (The Maestro) Air Date: 10-05-1995

Episode 114 (The Wink) Air Date: 10-12-1995

Episode 115 (The Hot Tub) Air Date: 10-19-1995

Episode 116 (The Soup Nazi) Air Date: 11-02-1995

Episode 117 (The Secret Code) Air Date: 11-09-1995

Episode 118 (The Pool Guy) Air Date: 11-16-1995

Episode 119 (The Sponge) Air Date: 12-07-1995

Episode 120 (The Gum) Air Date: 12-14-1995

Episode 121 (The Rye) Air Date: 01-04-1996

Episode 122 (The Caddy) Air Date: 01-25-1996

Episode 123 (The Seven) Air Date: 02-01-1996

Episode 124 (The Cadillac: Part 1) Air Date: 02-08-1996

Episode 125 (The Cadillac: Part 2) Air Date: 02-08-1996

Episode 126 (The Shower Head) Air Date: 02-15-1996

Episode 127 (The Doll) Air Date: 02-22-1996

Episode 128 (The Friars Club) Air Date: 03-07-1996

Episode 129 (The Wig Master) Air Date: 04-04-1996

Episode 130 (The Calzone) Air Date: 04-25-1996

Episode 131 (The Bottle Deposit: Part 1) Air Date: 05-02-1996

Episode 132 (The Bottle Deposit: Part 2) Air Date: 05-02-1996

Episode 133 (The Wait Out) Air Date: 05-09-1996

Episode 134 (The Invitations) Air Date: 05-16-1996

About the Author

Britt Gillette is author of The DVD Report, a movie review site where you can find more reviews like this one of the Seinfeld (Season 7) DVD Review.

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How to Get a ex-girlfriend revenge Back After Break Up - Get My Ex ex-girlfriend revenge Back Using This Principle

2009-01-27T00:27:00.001-08:00

I have just broken up with my ex-girlfriend revenge of many years. Is it possible to get her back? What are my chances of success? Are there any relationship tips that I could use?

Well, the chances of your success will really depend on your situation. However, there are always things that you could do to increase your chances of success. Similarly, there are also things that you must avoid doing when you are trying to get your ex-girlfriend revenge back.

If you commit those mistakes, it can potentially make the situation worse and make it even harder for you to get your ex-girlfriend revenge back. This is something that you will definitely want to avoid at all cost.

So, how do I know what are the mistakes to avoid when trying to get my ex-girlfriend revenge back?

Well, there are too many mistakes to be able to go through them one by one in this article. However, if you understand this principle and know it by heart, you will be able to prevent yourself from making those mistakes.

The principle is, "People want what they do not have" If you look at this principle form another viewpoint, it would mean "People do not desire what they can have easily".

So, how can you make use of this principle in your relationship? This is very simple. Don't do things that makes you appear desperate. For example, you don't want to cling on to your ex-girlfriend revenge, you don't want to keep on calling her again and again, you don't want to flood her cell phone with your text messages.

These are all signs of desperation which indirectly mean she can have you easily. According to the principle above, if she can have you easily, she will not desire to get back together with you.

How to get a ex-girlfriend revenge back after break up?

Watch a video that shows you exactly what you must NEVER do, what you should do to get your ex back and why at http://www.squidoo.com/magic_of_making_up_now

You will also learn how to reverse the situation if you have already done those things that should NEVER be done.

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Building Closet Shelving - The Rule of Three

2009-01-26T19:23:00.001-08:00

Building closet shelving needn't be a chore. In fact it can actually be very satisfying to figure out what you need and then put it into place. You can either go it alone and built your closet shelving completely by yourself or you can choose to incorporate components from a ready-made system.

Either way, you'll want to remember these three rules as you put your plans into action.

Rule 1: Measure Twice, Cut Once (Twice Plus Once = Thrice!)
It's happened to me more than once that I've measured a wall for some shelves and then had the wood cut to the wrong size. It's not my sloppy measuring that's to blame, it's the walls. Check for yourself. Measure your closet at the highest point you plan to put shelving and then halfway down, and again at the lowest height you'll be using. Many times you'll get different measurements simply because the wall wasn't built exactly straight. It's easy to compensate for that but only if you know it in advance.

Rule 2: Get Advice From a Three-Year-Old
Really. If you're building closet shelving for a preschooler or older child, ask their advice and get their opinion on your design. You'll find, for instance, that a place to store dolls' clothes next to her own clothes will please your little princess. And remember that whatever you build now will need to be easily adaptable as your children grow. Make sure that there is suitable storage space for shoes, clothes, toys and sports equipment.

When we planned our first walk-in closet for the girls we made a double height hanging space. The lower bar was for clothes currently in use, so our kids could be independent about choosing what they wanted to wear. The upper level was for clothes that were either worn less frequently or which did not yet fit. As the kids grew and the hanging space needed to be higher up from the floor, we simply removed the lower bar.

Rule 3: Get Advice from Co-Closet Sharers
If your closet is to be shared, make sure you get input from your partner. In our case, I'm tall and my ex-girlfriend revenge is somewhat shorter than me. When we originally designed the closet, I envisaged an even split on the vertical plane. That is to say, I would take one side from ceiling to floor, and my ex-girlfriend revenge would take the other.

What neither of us took into account were the problems our height difference would cause. I can stack shirts neatly on the hightest shelf. My ex-girlfriend revenge has to throw her jeans and tops up there and that shelf, as a result, is in complete disarray. In plain terms, it's a total disaster.

The solution is clear. I'm going to have to give up some of my sliding baskets and take over her top shelves. Instead of the vertical split, we're redividing the closet in horizontal terms. She gets all the low shelves, I get all the higher ones. Not exactly a perfect solution but a necessary compromise.

So, don't do as I did. Do as I'm telling you. remember the Rule of Three when building closet shelving and you should be just fine.

Joel Benstein is a Do-It-Yourself enthusiast. Over the years he has taught himself basic plumbing, electrical repair, window screen construction, gardening and landscaping. He is also an avid woodworker. You can see examples of some of his projects and get ideas and information for shelving in your home at http://www.home-shelving-guide.com

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46 Clues Your Partner is Having an Affair

2009-01-26T14:17:00.001-08:00

Some of these signs of a cheating spouse are "tongue in cheek" while others are tell tale signs that commonly appear with a cheating husband or cheating wife. There is no copyright. Feel free to forward to those who might be interested. But please don't change anything.

Signs of a Cheating Spouse:

1) You find birth-control pills in her medicine cabinet, and you've had a vasectomy.

2) Mutual friends start acting strangely toward you. (They either know about the cheating or have been told stories about what a horrible wife or ex-girlfriend revenge you are.)

3) Your cheating husband or wife stops confiding in you and seeking advice from you.

4) Sets up a new e-mail account and doesn't tell you about it.

5) He leaves the house in the morning smelling like Irish Spring and returns in the evening smelling like Safeguard.

6) She joins the gym and begins a rigorous workout program.

7) She buys a cell phone and doesn't let you know.

8) He sets up a separate cell phone account that is billed to his office.

9) The cheating husband carries condoms, and you are on the pill.

10) Begins to delete all incoming phone calls from the caller ID.

11) Deletes all incoming e-mails when they used to accumulate.

12) He becomes "accusatory," asking if you are being true to him, usually out of guilt.

13) Raises hypothetical questions such as, "Do you think it's possible to love more than one person at a time?"

14) He buys himself new underwear.

15) He insists the child seat, toys, etc., are kept out of his car.

16) The cheating wife stops wearing her wedding ring.

17) Has a sudden desire to be helpful with the laundry.

18) Has unexplained scratches or bruises on his or her neck or back.

19) Suddenly wants to try new love techniques.

20) He/she fairly suddenly stops having sex with you.

21) He/she suddenly wants more sex, more often.

22) Supposedly works a lot of overtime, but it never shows up on the pay stub.

23) Picks fights in order to stomp out of the house.

24) You find out by accident he or she took vacation day or personal time off from work - but supposedly worked on those days.

25) Shows a sudden interest in a different type of music.

26) Spouse's co-workers are uncomfortable in your presence.

27) Has a sudden preoccupation with his or her appearance.

28) Spends an excessive amount of time on the computer, especially after you have gone to bed.

29) He throws up a lot because he just ate at his mistress's house and had to eat the dinner you prepared when he got home.

30) Your spouse is away from home, either nights or on trips, more than previously.

31) His/her clothes smell of an unfamiliar perfume or after-shave. You see lipstick on your husband's shirt.

32) The amount of money being deposited into your checking account drops off.

33) You find items of intimate apparel or other small gift-type items that you did not give your spouse.

34) Your spouse seems less comfortable around you and is "touchy" and easily moved to anger.

35) You get calls where the caller hangs up when he or she hears your voice.

36) He/she loses attention in the activities in the home.

37) Your intuition (gut feeling) tells you that something is not right.

38) He/she has a definite change in attitude towards everyone in the home.

39) She uses a low voice or whisper on the phone or hangs up quickly.

40) She has a "glow" about her.

41) Atypical erratic behavior.

42) He sneaks out of the house.

43) She sleeps with her purse by the bed.

44) She goes to the store for groceries and comes home 5 hours later.

45) He tells you that you can get hold of him at a different telephone number.

46) The telltale sign of a cheating spouse? Having to ask that question in the first place.

Dr. Robert Huizenga, The Infidelity Coach, has helped hundreds of couples over the past two decades heal from the agony of extramarital affairs and survive infidelity. Visit his website at: http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com

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Business Vs Relationship - Your Attention IS Required For Continuum

2009-01-26T09:12:00.001-08:00

Budding crushes require attention to grow and build. You should see the attention my son gives his ex-girlfriend revenge. They go to the movies, he walks her home from school, he takes her shopping, and he takes her flowers when they have a date. He wants her to know he likes her, a lot.

New business is like that. You spend every waking moment in the early days worrying about your business, dusting the shelves, sorting through the misfits and deleting what isn't working to replace it with what does work. Then you get to the point where you've finally got the profit you want from the business and you're burned out.

The relationship has grown stale and you can't quite get up the energy to put on your best outfit for a night of burgers and sodas at the Burger Barn, so you call your girl and say, "Let's go casual. I'll pick you up in a few minutes, be ready." She hears you drive up and runs to the car, so you don't have to walk to the door and escort her back. You don't even bother to get her door for her. "She can open the door herself."

You show up just in time to open the door and let the first customers in at the shop. Your business gets a lick and a promise, you don't give it the amount of time required to keep up with everything, and the customers begin to notice your lack of enthusiasm. But they still come back.

You stop having time to spend with your girl. You spend time with your friends again instead, thinking you've got plenty of time to see her. She feels neglected and starts seeing her friends more. They tell her about their new boyfriend and she wonders... Why don't you treat her as nice anymore?

Your customers look around and don't see what they want, you no longer offer to special order what they ask for, and they no longer feel like you appreciate their business. Slowly, they stop coming to your store. Your business struggles and you can't figure out why you're losing money.

Your ex-girlfriend revenge sits at home night after night waiting for you to call. You don't. She goes out with ex-girlfriend revenges and hears about their new boyfriends, she wants you to call. But you don't. You're busy with your friends and you notice that when you get together with your ex-girlfriend revenge, she seems distant. You don't take her flowers. You don't hold her hand. And she has to open her own door.

What happens if you give your business and your relationships the attention they deserve?

You can make your first million online if you strive to maintain the balance of service in your business and don't allow yourself to burn out and stop serving your business. Go to http://makeyourfirstmilliononline.com and learn how you too can make a million online.

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Want My ex-girlfriend revenge Back - Making Up Success

2009-01-26T04:06:00.001-08:00

OK, so you say that you "want my ex-girlfriend revenge back" that's great, because really life is to short to live being down in the dumps when you are without that love of your life, that you chose to marry! I know, there was a time when I said "I want my ex-girlfriend revenge back" to...

Marriages break up for many different reasons, and the reasons for yours is something that only youcan answer, however they are generally based around the same things, one being a lack of understanding of the opposite sex, althoughwe feel the same, we do think very differently. Not understanding this does lead to rather significant communication breakdowns, and then disrespect...

The first rule of thumb to getting your ex-girlfriend revenge back is all about working on yourself, if you are making contact with your ex-girlfriend revenge, and trying to convince her to get back together, I recommend for now, you stop! The best thing is to create some thinking time, and also emotional repair time. Obviously when you go threw something like this, deep down we become emotional wrecks, it is timeto honestly reflect on the real reasons why you broke up, andhonestly work on the issues that effectyou,taking notes really helps to get things in prospectus, don't rush as this is veryimportant for when you attempt communication...

Secondly you need to concentrate on your positive well being, get yourself out and about having some fun, not so you can brag about it, but so you feel miles better. Go to the races, or a fishing trip or two, some hunting orwhatever it is that givesyou some excitement. Not only will this help you to feel miles better about life, it will show to others that you are positive and happy, and your ex-girlfriend revenge will feelthat you have moved on. Who knows once you have done this you may feel that you don't want your ex-girlfriend revenge back, and you were just holding on to her love for some moral sanity...

However becoming a happyman again is of up most importance to achieving your goal! The next step is tofocus on someeffective communication, and realizing this huge factor forwhy we get this wrong. That isthat there can be no blame in your breakup, but just reasons why, that need to be dealt with. The most dramatic communication fault that we have is using the word "you" instead of the word "I",in emotional debates. An example to this is, lets say you are having an argument and getangry, we begin a natural defense and will oftensay,"well youare making me damn angry", as apposed to sayingsimply, "I ambecoming ratherangry at the moment". Saying itdifferently does not have the same impact, as to when you sound like your blaming. When you are feeling that you areangry, you should immediatelytake time out,before you blow things out of proportion, and think of the reasonfor arguing...

Last but not least you need to be confident and positive, all I mean by this is to stop saying "I want myex-girlfriend revenge back" and start believing that you are going to get your ex-girlfriend revenge back. What we think does have huge impact as to what we get!

Feel free to click here for a comprehensive guide to get your ex-girlfriend revenge back!

Robert Lees, If your willing to learn! You can achieve any goal, if you want to stop the ongoing breakup, make up cycle in your life, and move forward in your love life then the making up magic is for you... The strength from the knowledge and support from T dub is unbeatable, at least go take a look and listen to what he has to say on his video's...

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The Ultimate Wealth Package Scam

2009-01-25T23:00:00.001-08:00

Slick website, over 25 pages of testimonials, claims that you can make "well over $50,000 for less than a months work". Ultimate Wealth Package sure had my scam meter pegged. But, it's less than $50 and I am always on the lookout for something new so I figured what the heck, I'll give it a shot.

First a little background. I have been growing my internet business since 2001 and officially started doing this full time when I quit my day job on April 30, 2004. I have played around with setting up affiliate promotions with AdWords (one of the main topics in the Ultimate Wealth Package) and learned all I know the hard way - which means it cost me a lot of money (I would guess around $4,500 total) as I tested and retested until I hit on the formula that worked for me. So I was very interested to see what they had to say.

I ordered the Ultimate Wealth Package and got set up to put their "start earning a full time income working at home from your computer" and "you can start earning money within the next hour" claims to the test.

Now because I am in this business, I didn't think it would be fair to them to evaluate Ultimate Wealth Package knowing what I know. I wanted to review this from the perspective of someone new to internet marketing so I enlisted the help of my ex-girlfriend revenge (who only knows that I "do internet stuff"). She barely knows how to surf the internet so I thought what better person to put their claims to the test.

I must admit the first steps of getting started with Ultimate Wealth Package are a lot different from what I expected. I thought there would be long ebooks to read (my ex-girlfriend revenge hates to read) or tons of research but Mark Warren (the creator of Ultimate Wealth Package) seems pretty focused on meeting his "earn money in one hour" promise.

Once we download the package, I gave it to my ex-girlfriend revenge and watched as she got started. After she cheered because she didn't have to read anything, we set the system in motion and the Ultimate Wealth Package servers got to work producing her a personal website that will do most of the selling. While that was going on, she followed their instructions and set up an account to collect the money from her sales and linked it to her UWP site.

Then we went to work following their promotion tips for her website and I have to admit at this point I helped a little. We were getting into the AdWords material here and I wanted to see if they really know what they're talking about. I thought I knew everything important there was to know about AdWords but some of the UWP tips were new to me. I admit I was more than a little impressed at this point.

So, what happened after an hour? Unfortunately, it took us about three hours to get everything running the way we wanted so that "make money in an hour" claim didn't hold true for us. But, like I said, my ex-girlfriend revenge has very little internet experience so it probably took her a lot longer than it would normally take someone who's been online for a while.

By this time it was around one in the morning so we called it a day. But, bright and early the next morning my ex-girlfriend revenge woke me up jumping up and down because her site had made over $200 while we slept! She had to get to work so she let me go back to sleep but she called several times during the day wanting me to check her account balance for her. I had created a monster!

That was three weeks ago and she's now on the internet almost as much as I am. She's not close to earning $50,000 a month but, to be fair, that number comes from Mark Warren's own business after a few years online so it's probably not fair to judge my ex-girlfriend revenge's success against his. Still, she had implemented only a few of the Ultimate Wealth Package tips and was making almost as much online as she was in her day job. We'll see if that continues but, if it does, maybe I need to take a closer look at the package to improve my own business.

So is the Ultimate Wealth Package a scam?

No, but it's not all wine and roses either. I glossed over some of the details but I helped my ex-girlfriend revenge with more of the technical stuff than I admitted. You will need enough technical skills to set up accounts with online services, manage marketing campaigns, and make some small changes to your web page. It's all covered in the book but I can imagine it would have taken even more than the three hour set-up time had I not been there to help her.

You also need to have about $75 to invest in the program and put in around an hour or so a day to keep it growing so it's not set it and forget it "make money without work" nonsense. But, honestly, if you're not willing to put in an hour a day for the potential to earn $50,000 a month you really don't have much of a future in online business anyway.

You can't make that $50,000 a month sitting there dreaming. Click here to get started with the Ultimate Wealth Package and join my ex-girlfriend revenge as one of the newest online business success stories.

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Reading Body Language - Knowing What She's Thinking

2009-01-25T17:52:00.001-08:00

There's always been this huge fuss about knowing what it is that women want. The truth however is that if you make reading body language your specialty, then you'll know what she's thinking and that's half the job done. It's like looking for gold without a map and then suddenly you find the map and learn to understand it, at that point you know the gold isn't too far off.

Whether you're taking her out on a first date, or she's your long- term ex-girlfriend revenge, reading body language will help you understand her frame of mind and know what to expect regardless of the situation at hand.

When reading body language, the first port of call is the eyes, someone once said : "the eyes are the window to the soul" and that person couldn't have said it better. A woman who looks at you with widely dilated or opened eyes is a woman who is seriously interested in you. The eyes also reflect anger when they are squinted or displeasure etc, so you know when she's angry or simply not in the mood for your antic. When she looks at you and looks away repeatedly, it could mean she seriously finds you attractive.

Other the eyes, the lips are a good indicator of body language. Especially when combined with the eyes and a smile. A woman who bites her lips when looking at you is interested in you and whatever it is you have to offer her. A woman who licks her lips when looking at you, well, well, well, if you can't decipher that, there's no use trying to understand everything else.

Hands are also a good indicator of body language. If a woman touches you unconsciously and with some frequency, it is a sign that she is attracted to you. The touching might be subtle and frequent such as touching your arm or your face or any other part of your body, maybe in order to buttress a point or simply out of the blue.

Understanding the feelings of a woman from reading body language is a simple art and if you take the time out to practice, you'll quickly become familiar with the various body signs. With this, understanding women and their whims and subtle messages will be a whole lot easier.

learn how to start reading body language

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Men, Here's Where Your ex-girlfriend revenge is Getting Her Sexual Needs Met

2009-01-25T12:34:00.001-08:00

There's a secret place that women go to in order to get their sexual needs met.

Men seem to be mostly unaware of this place...and TOTALLY unaware of what's really going on inside...

If asked, many husbands would tell you that their ex-girlfriend revenge just isn't very sexual. They would tell you that sex is WAY DOWN towards the bottom - if not at the bottom - of their ex-girlfriend revenge's list of what's important.

And, these men have no clue how wrong they are about their ex-girlfriend revenge. If they could somehow sneak into their ex-girlfriend revenge's mind for just one day, they would be SHOCKED at just how sexual their ex-girlfriend revenge really is.

These men think they are married to a "cold fish" and they don't even know that their ex-girlfriend revenge is a very sexual person - and she's personally taking care of getting her sexual needs met... Without him!

Now, you can breathe easy knowing that most of these wives aren't engaging in physical sex with other men... But inside their minds, inside their most INCREDIBLE SEX "ORGAN" (their minds), all sorts of sexual thoughts are going on. Hardly a day goes by but what these wives make sure they find a time and a place where they can let their mind take flight off to a wonderful land of sexual fantasy.

And, whereas a man's sexual fantasy usually has a primary focus on the visual and physical aspects of sex, a woman's sexual fantasy usually has far more "story" to it. This is because a lot of what turns a woman on is EXPERIENCING a dichotomy of emotions - its contrasting feelings that do the trick for her.

So, when she can experience a story of highs and lows, the familiar and the mysterious, the known and the unknown, the friend and the stranger, the deceiver and the deceived, the loss and the gain, the new and the old, etc. in the realm of dating, romance, and marriage, it becomes a very sexual experience for her.

In other words, as a woman EXPERIENCES the TENSION created by the dichotomy of emotions contained within her "story" she TRANSMUTES the expression of her sexuality from the physical realm into the mental realm.

She dare not tell her husband - or any man for that matter - but it's nevertheless true.

So, do you now see where you're ex-girlfriend revenge is getting her sexual needs met? She's getting them met in her mind - with the help of prop's like romance novels and soap opera's.

Maybe, you can do a little investigation for yourself...

Go take a stroll through your nearest used book store. You'll be BLOWN AWAY by the aisles and aisles of floor-to-ceiling bookshelves FILLED with romance novels. And notice, these books are NOT collecting any dust - they're flying off the shelves as hoards of women are buying, selling, and trading them.

If that's too much of a trip for you, just waltz over to your ex-girlfriend revenge's bookshelf - and notice all the romance novels that she has. Then, take a stroll over to the TV that she watches - and check out the GIGABYTES of soap operas that she's recorded... All designed to help her meet her sexual needs - all designed to help her create that dichotomy of emotions - so that she can get sexual "release" without you.

She'd rather it be WITH YOU...

She'd rather you TUNE IN and CHECK IN to her sexuality...

She'd rather you be the one who provides her with that emotional excitement that's so sexually stimulating to her...

She'd rather you be the one who "takes her on a journey"...

...so that she can enjoy sex at the physical level too.

Here's something you can do...buy a romance novel and ask your ex-girlfriend revenge to let you read it to her. As you read, pay attention - pay attention to the dichotomy of emotions being created by the story. Pay attention to the responses and reactions of your ex-girlfriend revenge. By paying attention, you'll LEARN - from both the romance novel and from your ex-girlfriend revenge.

You may think this is a stupid idea but if you're smart, you'll try it - and you'll find out for yourself that it definitely takes your relationship in a sexual direction.

Those men who want to enjoy more intimacy more frequently with their ex-girlfriend revenge find it's worth their while to go look at: ex-girlfriend revenge.com">http://www.Nymphomaniacex-girlfriend revenge.com

To learn more about Calle Zorro, go to http://www.MarriedAndHappy.com

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Ideal Christmas Gadgets Gifts For Parents, ex-girlfriend revenge, Kids and Relatives

2009-01-25T07:30:00.001-08:00

Life is hectic as always and Christmas is on the way, some of us are still confused for what to buy for everyone as gift. But yes we have picked the Christmas gadgets section as potential category for choosing gifts for every one. So, here are some recommendations for you to let you out of the baffling state of mind "what to or what no". Your problem is solved.

The best thing about Christmas gadgets is that they don't have age group limitations although there are some of them available for different categories but I don't think they can be confined to them only. Lets see what options do we have for Christmas gadgets:

1. Christmas USB Flash drives - there are lot of flash drives that are packaged like Christmas Santa and snowman in different storage capacities. Kids will jump onto you, after unwrapping the pack.

2. Noel cases for mobile phones, iPods and iPhone - these cases are launched with an aims at dressing your iPhone for the special occasion of Christmas. I am sure your parent and relatives would love it.

3. Digital Photo Frames - digital photo frames are awesome accessory for gifting any one like your kids, parents and specially your grand parents if you can help them with loading pics.

4. Smartpen - another breed of gadgets are the smartpens which apart from writing, serves other purposes as well like detecting wi-fi, taking pictures secretly and storing data. You can pamper the mischievous instinct of your relatives' best by this.

5. Nintendo Wii accessories- Nintendo Wii is running hot in the market and there is huge variety of innovative accessories to complement it. Would be appropriate for niece, nephew or your own kid who is a Wii buff.

The gadgets are all around so, be fastidious while choosing the best Christmas gadgets for your beloved ones.

Rakesh Lashkari - Author, Editor, Marketing Manager, Authorized Representative, Website Coordinator. For more on Christmas Gadgets

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Sweeney Todd Musical

2009-01-25T02:26:00.001-08:00

Sweeney Todd also dubbed as the Demon Barber of Fleet Street is musical that has bagged the Tony Award owing to its unique story. It is an adaptation of the book of the same name that has been authored by Hugh Wheeler. The department of the music and lyrics has been dealt with by Stephen Sondheim. The story revolves around the 19th-century legend of Sweeney Todd and more so around the 1973 play of the same name by Christopher Bond.

The show was premiered on Broadway in the Uris Theatre in March of 1979. To date the musical has given 576 performances. Its story revolves around the character of Sweeney Todd who was earlier known as Benjamin Barker and who makes a return from Australia, where he has spent almost one and a half decade owing to false charges. After he learns some facts from Mrs. Lovett, who makes meat pies, that his wife had committed suicide after she had been raped by a Judge and it was that judge's daughter who had imprisoned him, he becomes vindictive and promises himself ex-girlfriend revenge. Both of them conspire together, which is followed by a series of murders resulting first in a boom in business for Lovett's shop and eventually tragedy.

It has had nineteen previews and has been directed and choreographed by Hal Prince and Larry Fuller respectively. In spite of starting on a poor note it went on to record huge success. It recorded its first U.S. national tour that started in October of 1980 in the state of Washington DC. It finished in August of the following year in the state of Los Angeles in California. Later a second tour was arranged that began in February of 1982 in Wilmington, Delaware and later ended in July of the same year in Toronto, Canada.

In the initial years of 2000, this play gained massive audience and critic acceptance in the tours that it did in collaboration with the opera companies spread all over United States and Canada. Bryn Terfel was seen in the lead role that he performed with excellence in Chicago in the year of 2002. It was also premiered at the Royal Opera House in London which was a part of the Royal Opera season. Other than that it has been performed a couple of times at the Israeli National Opera.

It was revived in 2004-05 both at the West End and the Broadway. Later during 2004 John Doyle was the director to another revival of this awesome musical that was staged in Newbury, England and was eventually relocated to the Trafalgar Studios and after that to the New Ambassadors Theatre. The non-mention of the musical instruments such as orchestra was noteable and the actors featured played the score themselves. It was a first I almost eleven years. The entire production was relocated to the Broadway where it featured an all new cast including Michael Cerveris and Patti LuPone. It reopened in November of 2005 at the Eugene O'Neill Theatre where it gave almost four hundred performances. Like in London the cast played the instruments on their own. Read information about Sweeney Todd and get discounted musical Sweeney Todd Tickets.

Natasha is the lover of concerts and theater shows. She works for OnlineTicketSpot (http://www.onlineticketspot.com) and also managing SportsTicketsGuide.

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Is Your Marriage Becoming Sexless? Advice For Women Facing a Sexless Marriage

2009-01-24T21:22:00.001-08:00

Many women take the path of self loathing believing that their husband does not find them attractive anymore; perhaps they think they have put on weight or do not have time to dress up anymore or they think that whatever fire of passion that was there has gone out because they are too familiar or that life is hard. In any case the wife blames herself which is terrible for mental health and confidence which becomes another issue. Why this is so wrong is that men appreciate confidence in their women just as women like confidence in men, a wife who wallows in self pity because she feels unattractive becomes the thing she does not want to be psychologically and eventually physically driving home a sexless marriage complex that infects both partners

The opposite spectrum are women who blame their man, perhaps they suspect him of having affairs or that he has become impotent and lost his sex drive. This can lead to resentment and sometimes to the wife having affairs as ex-girlfriend revenge or as a release which only makes matters much worse in a sexless marriage

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How to Make Your Ex Call You For Patching Up

2009-01-24T16:18:00.001-08:00

One of the things you need to include on your how to win your ex back plan is to talk leave him a thought provoking, emotion stirring message that will make him curious enough to return your call. If you plan to get back with your ex ex-girlfriend revenge you know that the most first task you need to do is to call her and invite her out to talk about your relationship and your future. Calling is much better that barging into her office and asking her to talk to you. The former will let give her time to think about your offer and the latter will just annoy or disturb her a lot.

The thing about calling your ex is that you don't need to sound as if you've written a script and you're just reading it over the phone. If this is the case, you might as well send your ex ex-girlfriend revenge a letter instead of calling her on the phone. Of course, it's normal and a lot better if you basically know what you want to say to your ex. You can practice it in your mind or ever in front of the mirror.

The key to a successful phone call to your ex is to avoid pleading and using the words emergency or immediately. Pleading will lead you nowhere. You're ex will think about it but more likely ignore your plea. Telling her that there's an emergency when there's none will just ruin your chances in getting your ex back.

Check out these free videos that show you how to easily get your ex back.

Always remember to sound polite but still full of emotions. You also need to sound sincere and the only way for you to do that is to be genuine about your feelings. Getting your ex back would be a piece of cake after watching and implementing the steps mentioned in the videos.

Before calling or pursuing with your ex to get back with you, you owe it to yourself to check out this get your ex back resource right now to get yourself back in favor.

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Holy Yoga Theology

2009-01-24T11:14:00.001-08:00

Why Study Theology?

God is comfortable with questions. Throughout the Bible, both the Old and New Testament, we find even the mightiest men and women of the faith asking questions. However, to many observers, Christianity has been diminished to a mindless religion occupied with following rules and holding to blind faith. God simply is not calling the world to this kind of acceptance of who HE is.

Fully engaging the idea of knowing and deeply connecting to God is recognizing "that faith and inquiry are inseparable."1 Theology is a manifestation of walking as a Christian; awakened to the realization that he/she is free from the bondage of sin and responsible to search out and examine the faith he/she ascribes to in God. A Christian should desire a deeper understanding of who God is and how God reveals Himself to the world through Jesus Christ and how He continues His presence in the world through the indwelling Holy Spirit, recognizing that fully grasping the richness of the most important event in the life of the world will never be fully attained. Theology is not meant to merely become a regurgitation of traditional ideas on the doctrines of the faith. A Christian searches deeper into the expressed truth within the words of Church history for what God may wish to reveal in the age in which he/she find himself/herself. The spirit of theology is "interrogative rather than doctrinaire; it presupposes a readiness to question and to be questioned."2

To be a Christian simply means to come to the foundational questions of the faith and work through what it means to ascribe to the ideas of Christianity. At the core of all that a Christian knows and from where the outpouring of how he/she lives burst forth, Christians begin to look at Jesus, "the author and perfector of our faith".3 Followers look to Him to enchant, delight and remind them that it is in Him they "live and move and have {their} being".4 Let's reexamine the good news of who Jesus is? What did He do? And Why does it matter?

Author's Presuppositions Have you noticed that there is something about the name of Jesus? There is almost a hesitation to say the name in mixed company for fear that a nice evening might suddenly turn ugly. Where does this hostility come from? Why is it that this person in history evokes such strong responses? As a Christian, I must disclose my bias in that there is something about the name of Jesus that has caused me to radically change inside and out. When I initially understood His identity, I started getting my life straight as far as cutting out those things that maybe we all know are not so good for us and this gave me an excuse to finally let it all go.

When I continued to walk with Him, I found myself letting go of things that might not have been perceived as necessarily harmful but just were not good for me. But then one day I realized that I was not just watching a list of dos and don'ts and gauging my worth in God's eyes based on how I was measuring up. Suddenly I really got that Jesus was not just about simply cleaning up my sin problem. I found my heart beat for Him, my soul thirst for Him, my existence was all wrapped up in my finally getting that He loved me fully and wanted to have an very personal relationship with me. So it is from this bias that I begin to unpack someone which cannot be fully captured in a few pages. Yet my desire is that you will recognize something about yourself that is lacking that is completely contained in Jesus.

Who is Jesus? Jesus is the Son of God. He is fully human and fully God. Fully human meaning that He is a flesh and blood human being, like us physically, emotionally, mentally. Yet unlike us in that He came into the world by way of a virgin birth, a supernatural collaboration between a female virgin and the Holy Spirit, God's representative working in the world today. Also unlike us, He walked the earth without disobeying God in any way, shape or form. When Jesus is referred to as fully human, "the claim is not simply that he is a human being but that He is the norm and promise of a new humanity in relation to God and to one another."5

Let's be clear. The full humanity of Jesus is not seen in his gender, somehow projecting a lesser connection to women than to men. The fullness of who God is portrayed in this man comes from his "shocking love and his prophetic criticism" aimed at the powers of the world and those who held the religious reins.6 Additionally, the way Jesus walked in freedom in His relationship with God the Father and with the disenfranchised in the world made all who had access to Him whether directly or indirectly take notice. Throughout the gospel stories within Matthew, Mark, Luke and John, we watch in wonder at Jesus' consistent and unhindered love toward the Father and toward all people. And this love for people was not simply for the people within his social circle. His aim was (and still is) to bring the rich and the poor together, the strong and the weak in tandem, the young and the old into appreciation of one another. Migliore comments, "This alone makes the life and death of Jesus a radiant expression of the eternally, self giving, other affirming, community forming love of the triune God."7

1Migliore, 147. 2Ibid., 147. 3Ibid., 148

Now let's move back a bit to the word "gospel". One could define gospel as the "the good news" and to be sure Jesus is in fact the good news from God. But think about that for a moment. Jesus himself is the good news. What does that mean? Simply put, the good news is that God Himself came into the world in the person Jesus Christ. The gospel does not "introduce an idea but a person."8 The gospel is Jesus living and active in the world exhibiting and experiencing the emotions and experiences as we do, present and available to all the joy and heartache which we experience whose heart soared and despaired for those things that God the Father rejoiced and hurt for in the world, who died and is now alive. The only way that we can really know what God is like is to look to Jesus because it is in Jesus that "God is most fully revealed and known."9

What Did He do? Jesus was scandalous in his engagement with the outcast and the underprivileged of the world. Having a grasp of the inner motives of the religious people and self proclaimed gatekeepers of the knowledge of God, Jesus walked around in his surroundings with an agenda to turn over tables to reveal the true heart of God for the world. Jesus' ministry and words "transgressed the supposed boundaries of God's grace and thus shocked the sensibilities of the guardians of religious tradition."10 You might hear the "person" of Christ and the "work" of Christ referred to in relation to one another. I would like to unpack that a bit. What I do and who I am are no doubt intertwined. The same is true for Jesus. As you read through the gospels, pay attention to what he is doing and what he is saying because those two things must indeed compliment one another. If we find discrepancies, the whole of what God is attempting to reveal about Himself comes into question. Identity comes together in the history of a person; his/her life story. Additionally, if Jesus' credentials come into question as far as whether or not He is both God and Human simultaneously, He cannot mediate the relationship between human beings and God the Father which means there is still no way to enter into a relationship with God because sin still separates us.

Again the purpose of Jesus coming into the world as a human being is not simply to rescue us out of the pain and the destruction of sin. In Jesus, not only does God bring forgiveness, but also "liberation, reconciliation and new life to the world."11 This man blessed the poor, ate with the outcasts, befriended women, challenged the self righteous and stirred up the Roman authorities to the point where the latter two groups continuously attempted to find a means to silence his message. He did not simply come up against sinful individuals but sinful corporate structures that continue to oppress and silence the underprivileged of the world today. When we hear talk from Jesus about offering abundant life and freedom He is speaking to more than isolated persons coming into relationship with God. Jesus is setting the stage for a new world order built at the core by the grace and righteousness of God that can now live on the inside of a human being through the Holy Spirit as he/she chooses to let his/her life flow through the mindset of Jesus.

8Thomas C. Oden, The Word of Life: Systematic Theology Volume Two (San Francisco: HarperCollins, 1992), 11. 9Millard J. Erickson, Christian Theology (Grand Rapids: Baker Book House, 1998), 752. 10Migliore, 146. 11Ibid., 142. HY Theology Page 3 Holy Yoga Theology 12Oden, 20. 13Migliore, 160. 14Oden, 35.

So what did Jesus do? He walked on the Earth, died on a cross and now lives which serves as proof that sin and death no longer have to oppress a human being. This death and living again (referred to as the resurrection) is "key to the work of Christ."12 So how does this translate to good news for all people, rich and poor, weak and strong, popular and outcast? Migliore states,

"The message of the cross has nothing to do with resignation to the forces of violence and nothing to do with the spirit of ex-girlfriend revenge. Wherever the cross of Christ is rightly preached and heard, the deadly circle of violence and counter violence is broken, and the rule of violence begins to yield to a new world of compassion and solidarity."13

As we begin to experience a relationship with God as He intended, the changes begin to make inroads into our hearts, transforming our minds and bursting forth to be the transformation of humanity as God initially intended.

Why Does It Matter? Jesus is in the center of whatever it means to be a Christian. We can have discussions and agree to disagree on many things but this one thing, this one person cannot be a place of confusion. It is through Jesus Christ that God has chosen to give the world the opportunity to put back in place a relationship broken by sin. If God in Christ is not allowed to meet us in our misery, our loneliness and our disappointments and transform this life into self giving, other affirming and community creating, we have missed the essence of what it means to see the Kingdom of God in our presence. The point of Christianity is to be a witness in the world that through Jesus and the power of the Holy Spirit, we are allowed to see God present and active in pursuing the world to come back into relationship with its Creator. God has not simply spoken; He has acted in order to give an avenue in which this relationship can be restored.

This relationship can only be put back together through faith in Jesus Christ. When we look to the Bible to find out how this happens, this faith looks like more than a recognition that Jesus' teaching is true or that He did indeed live and die and is now alive. The Bible tells us that the faith comes when we believe in Jesus; a person not simply the teaching. Oden states,

"Jesus was less concerned that his miracles be publicly celebrated than that they be inwardly recognized as embodying and attesting his divine mission and son ship. His ministry confronted every hearer with the same simple decision: are you ready to live in the presence of the coming governance of God?"14

Holy Yoga Theology Faith in who Jesus is and the ramifications of His work must cause some movement on the part of the hearer. The movement begins with an inner consent to walk in life in a way that understands the message of God's kingdom in the world as displayed in the words and actions of Jesus Christ. Then it transitions to an outward movement where the world is affected by this decision. Those changes are cyclical with the stages and seasons of life experiences where each person is constantly being washed and renewed as he/she reads the Bible, dialogues with other believers, and lives and loves in this world. People change as they are challenged to examine inwardly and then become the change affecting world systems and family systems and personal demons. Only then can the world see the manifestation of what it means that in Jesus we live and we move and we have our being.

Bibliography: Erickson, Millard J. Christian Theology, Second Edition. Michigan: Baker Books, 1998. blueletterbible.org. Migliore, Daniel L. Faith Seeking Understanding: An Introduction to Christian Theology. Michigan: William B. Eerdmans, 1991. Oden, Thomas C. The Word of Life, Systematic Theology: Volume 2. California: HarperCollins, 1992. HY

About the Author

M.A. in Theology from Fuller Theological Seminary, B.S. in Business from Arizona State University. Robin plans to begin facilitating Mending the Soul groups in the area and praying for opportunities to incorporate yoga into the healing process of broken individuals. Robin has been married for six years and has three children ages 19, 16 and 2. God is real and is constantly pursuing the lost, the broken hearted, the weak, the strong; all categories Robin finds herself in from time to time. What God lovingly asked Adam and Eve, He continues to ask today, "Where are you?"

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Father of the Bride Speeches - Getting it Right

2009-01-22T15:13:00.001-08:00

Seeing your daughter walking down the aisle can be an emotional experience. Giving her away to another man is often every father's worst nightmare. Nobody will ever be good enough for her in your eyes, but yet you still have to come up with a speech on the day which shows her how happy you are for her.

Father of the bride speeches are usually heartfelt. The best man speeches are the ones which are the funniest with funny stories thrown in; father of the bride speeches are more serious, yet they can still inject a little humour where appropriate.

Creating the Perfect Father of the Bride Speeches

When it comes to creating the best father of the bride speeches, ideally you want to make it heartfelt, but not too lengthy. It is tempting to mention the first time your precious daughter fell over, when you had to teach her to ride her bike and when she got her first boyfriend. However, there is a very big risk of you going on far too long, embarrassing the bride completely and blubbing into a handkerchief. So keep it as short as possible and limit yourself to just one story.

One thing which is usually expected in father of the bride speeches is a small humorous dig at the new husband. Fathers of the bride are thought to be a little wary of the husbands and so a small comment about what you may have first thought about him can be quite funny. However, always be sure to say how happy you are that he makes your daughter happy and how you wish them both well. If you don't, it can make things extremely awkward and it can potentially spoil the day.

Adding some humour is definitely a good idea. Some examples of what you could say include "Katie has really brightened up our lives. It's not going to be the same at home now without all of the lights being left on."

"I would like to take this opportunity to welcome you into our family Brian. You deserve a fantastic, gorgeous and talented ex-girlfriend revenge and I am so happy that you married Jennifer before you found one."

The above are just a couple of humorous things that you could say, but obviously it will be personal to your daughter and her new husband. You want to leave the bride happy and emotional. So keep the speech short and add a little humour.

Another thing you should always remember is to speak up and be seen. Many fathers of the bride speeches go wrong because the father is too nervous to speak. Just remember that today is about your daughter and her husband and whilst your speech is important, people are not looking at you expecting you to fail. You are the father of the bride and your speech is an important part of the wedding. Do not shy away from that and if needed have a drink beforehand - just don't get drunk!

Overall father of the bride speeches should be funny and short. Do not worry about it too much and remember to welcome the husband into your family if you want to gain brownie points!

To find out how I gave a touching, memorable yet funny and apt speech on my daughter's marriage that made her and the guests really emotional please visit: http://unique-review.com/wedding-speeches/

Bobby Wilson writes articles on different topics that interest him.

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The Intersection of Family Law and Criminal Law in Rhode Island - Untangling the Web!

2009-01-22T10:09:00.001-08:00

The intersection between family law, criminal law and divorce in RI

Overview

A Rhode Island criminal domestic misdemeanor or felony case is often intertwined with complex issues concerning family law, child custody, child support, visitation, restraining orders and divorce. A Rhode Island Family law case is often intertwined with criminal law issues. In some cases there are three cases or more proceeding at the same time: a criminal case, a complaint protection from abuse and a divorce. There also may be a dcyf, child support case, paternity proceeding or juvenile proceeding pending. This article applies to misdemeanor criminal charges.

A misdemeanor is considered domestic if it involves certain family member, a spouse, ex-girlfriend revenge or boyfriend. An assault, disorderly conduct, larceny and other criminal charges can all be charged as domestic offenses. Therefore, if there is a domestic violence component to an assault case, the case will be charged as a domestic assault rather than just an assault.

In the event that a person is charged with a domestic offense, a no contact order will issue. The No Contact order will preclude the accused from having any contact with the victim, his or her spouse or significant other.

A no contact order often reeks havok upon the family unit especially when the parties are married or have children. The police will remove the accused from his or her residence. This removal creates a whole new set of challenges for the family. In many instances, the accused is the sole support for the family. Also, there are often visitation issues that arise immediately. The accused often wants to visit his or her children.

The victim usually has her own opinions which may or may not include the desire for the accused to visit with the children. Furthermore, the accused often has the need and desire to obtain his or her personal belongings such as clothes, toiletries, tools, work items etc.Also, the victim may seek another restraining order from the family Court or District Court and may seek child support.

This article addresses the above mentioned complex issues and answers the following questions:

Should I get a Rhode Island Criminal lawyer or Divorce lawyer to represent me in a criminal law or divorce case in Rhode Island?

An attorney is needed but not required. The old adage is that a person who acts as their own attorney has a fool for a client. Lawyers / attorneys are familiar with the legal process, the law , the judges and the legal system. In a criminal case you have a right to a free criminal lawyer from the Public Defender if you meet the income and eligibility requirements.

What is the difference between a domestic offense and a non domestic offense?

Any offense which is charged as a domestic offense is more serious than the same charge charged as a non domestic offense. Under Rhode Island (RI) law, a person who is found guilty of a domestic offense or who takes a nolo contendere plea with a sentence of filing, probation or suspended sentence must take batterers intervention classes. If found guilty of a domestic offense or if there is a plea bargain then a no contact order will enter automatically unless the victim is able to drop the no contact order.

A second conviction for a domestic offense in Rhode Island may lead to a minimum ten days at the aci! A third conviction for a domestic offense may be charged as a felony. Keep in mind that not all plea agreements constitute a criminal conviction. In RI any sentence with a suspended sentence, guilty finding, plea of guilty, fine or period of incarceration constitutes a criminal conviction. A nolo contendere plea with probation or filing with court costs does not constitute a conviction in Rhode island! A domestic conviction also will looks worse then a non domestic conviction on the accused's record when seeking employment opportunities.

Also, sentencing is usually more harsh for domestic cases then a non domestic offense. Furthermore, in domestic cases a one year filing cannot be expunged at the end of the year. There is an additional two year waiting period to expunge a domestic filing. Please see my other article concerning Rhode Island misdemeanors for a comprehensive explanation of a one year filing in Rhode Island.

Upon entering a plea or being found guilty of a crime with domestic implications then the defendant will be ordered to complete a batterer's intervention program which involves attending classes. The defendant can also be ordered to pay restitution to the victim if applicable and obtain substance abuse or mental health counseling. Failure to attend the Batterers classes, failure to pay restitution or failure to attend counseling could be considered a violation of probation, suspended sentence or a filing.

What is a no contact order?

In Rhode Island, A "no contact order" means that the defendant is precluded from having any contact and or communication with the victim or the person under the protection of the no contact order. This includes but is not limited to letters, emails, text messages or messages delivered through a third party.

In other words if a person is under a no contact order and sees the victim in public they must leave the area immediately and not acknowledge the victims existence. A person cannot even say "hi" if they walk by the victim by chance on the street.

A person can be arrested under Rhode Island law for violating a no contact order even if the victim initiates the contact and calls the defendant. A person can be charged with breaking a no contact order even if invited by his wife to come back to the marital home.

Dropping / dismissing the no contact order

The police cannot drop a no contact order. Only a judge can drop a no contact order. The victim can attempt to drop the no contact order at the arraignment. Prior to approaching the judge at the arraignment, the victim must speak with the domestic violence counselor at Court. The judge may dismiss the no contact order at the arraignment.

However, in the event that the alleged abuse is severe or there is a documented history of abuse then the judge may refuse to drop the no contact order. The no contact order may not be dropped by the judge if the victim states that she is still afraid of the accused. It is much easier to drop the no contact order at the pretrial hearing then it is to drop it at the arraignment. Some judges are hesitant to drop the no contact order at the arraignment. The judge will typically ask the police who are present at the arraignment whether they have any objections to the no contact order being dropped

Can the victim dismiss the no contact order after the arraignment but before the pretrial conference?

In the event that the victim wants to drop the no contact order after the arraignment but before the pretrial the victim can go to the clerk and ask that the file be brought in front of the judge. After conferring with the domestic advocate the judge will rule on whether the no contact order will be dropped.

Can the no contact order be dropped at the pretrial conference?

The victim who wants to cancel the no contact order will have another opporunity at the pretrial conference. The pretrial conference is typically scheduled a couple of weeks after the arraignment. At the pretrial conference, the victim can approach the judge and again seek to have the no contact order dropped

Will the criminal judge in District Court resolve visitation or custody issues?

No.

The criminal Court will not get involved in any family related issues such as child custody, child support, alimony ,paternity, relocation out of state, equitable division of marital property, visitation, payment of marital bills, payment of mortgage, payment of credit cards, disposition of the marital real estate, etc. Those issues are the province of the Rhode Island Family Court not the District court !The District Court is where criminal misdemeanor cases are heard.

The Court has the power to order restitution to the victim for any actual damages suffered by the victim as a result of the crime such as destruction of property, medical bills, stolen funds etc.

The District Court in a criminal case cannot be involved in setting visitation or dealing with issues concerning divorce or custody of the minor children. The Rhode Island Family Court is the proper Forum for dealing with issues related to divorce and child custody such as: child support, visitation, financial restraining orders and issues concerning marital property, marital real estate and debt.

Obtaining personal belongings (property) when there is a no contact order.

There are several proper ways for an accused to obtain his / her personal belongings when there is a no contact order in effect. Personal belongings usually consists of personal property such as clothes, sneakers, uniforms, personal effects etc. The accused can contact the police department where the victim resides and seek to make arrangements to pick up personal belongings. The police will often escort the person to the home. The downside of this arrangement is that the police often are in a rush and enforce a severe draconian time limit.

If the accused has a private attorney, he can contact the victims attorney who can contact the victim to make arrangements . This can have its pitfalls because the victim may be hostile or the victim may have no interest in negotiating

The accused can attempt to arrange to get his belongings through a third party. The accused must be careful not to violate the no contact order.

When does a no contact order in Rhode Island (RI) expire?

A no contact order expires when the sentence period is finished. A no contact order also expires if the case is dismissed or the defendant is found not guilty. The no contact order expires if the judge terminates the no contact order at the request of the victim.

Be careful because there may also be another restraining order issued as a result of a divorce or Family Court matter or a District Court restraining order!

What happens if a person on bail, probation, filing or suspended sentence violates a no contact order?

A person who is on probation, bail or a probation attached to a suspended sentence must be even more vigilante in order to not violate the no contact order.

A violation of a no contact order is a crime in itself which is also a violation of the conditions of probation, filing or bail . A person on probation or bail can be held at the ACI if they are accused of violating a no-contact order. For example, if a person is on probation or bail, a single phone call made by the defendant to a victim under the protection of a no contact order probably means a minimum of ten 10 days in jail at the ACI.

A probationary period or filing period is a time of great risk for a defendant and a defendant must be careful to stay out of trouble! A person must be even more vigilant if there is a no contact order, order protection from Abuse from The Rhode Island Family Court or restraining order in effect. A violation of a no contact order or a Family Court restraining order is a violation of probation.

A person with a suspended or stayed sentence faces the most potential risk regarding violation of probation in RI. As a result of a probation violation of violating a no contact order, a person with a suspended sentence could be ordered to serve the remainder of the suspended sentence at the adult correctional institution (ACI)

For Example, a person with probation may get themselves deeper into trouble when they resume communications or contact with their wife or ex-girlfriend revenge despite the fact that a no contact order is in effect. If there is an argument or allegations of domestic assault or abuse, the police may arrest the person and hold him/her at the aci as a probation violator as well as new charges for domestic assault and violation of a no contact order or restraining order.

Rhode Island Family Court restraining orders: (1) Complaints Protection from Abuse and (2) 'Civil restraining orders' and how they relate to criminal law

A defendant must Be careful! There may be a separate order protection from abuse restraining order that issued from Rhode Island Family Court as a result of a complaint protection from abuse. The Family Court has jurisdiction to issue an order protection from abuse restraining orders for up to three (3) years. The Family Court can issue restraining orders for persons who are married, are divorced, are family members or who have children in common as well as other jurisdiction set forth in the statute. There may also be a restraining order issued by a Court of another state or another Court

A protection from abuse case is not a criminal case. Violation of Family Court Complaint protection from Abuse restraining order is a crime in itself and also may constitute a violation of probation, bail and violation of conditions of a filing.

There are two types of Family Court restraining orders, "Complaint Protection from Abuse" and a civil restraining order. Both of these types of Restraining orders can be in addition to divorce proceedings.

Is Violating a Family Court restraining order which is not an order protection from abuse a crime?

No. A violation of a Family Court restraining order which is not a Complaint Protection from Abuse is not a crime. Violation of this type of order is punishable by contempt. However, If the restraining order contains language that violation of the order is a crime then there might be criminal implications.

Civil restraining orders are not nearly as effective as Complaint Protection from Abuse restraining orders. Civil Restraining orders are typically part of a divorce.

In a complaint protection from abuse case in Rhode Island can the Court get involved in Child custody, visitation and child support.

Yes. In a Complaint Protection from Abuse case, the Family Court can award temporary child support, visitation, and temporary custody of the children. The Court can also award visitation and in some instances may order supervised visitation. The Court can order that the Defendant vacate forthwith and remain out of the household. The Court can also order that a person take batterers classes or drug and alcohol counseling. The Court can order drug and alcohol testing. The Court can also order the Defendant to surrender possession of all firearms / guns to the Police department.

Is a violation of a Rhode Island District Court Restraining order a crime?

Yes.

When should a Restraining orders be filed in District Court?

If the restraining order is against a current boyfriend or ex-girlfriend revenge or an ex boyfriend or ex-girlfriend revenge who you had a substantive dating relationship within the prior year but you have no child with, then Rhode Island District Court is the proper Forum.

If you have a child with your current or ex boyfriend/ ex-girlfriend revenge then the restraining order should be filed in the Family Court. A restraining order against a current roommate can be filed in District Court.

RI Superior Court Restraining orders:

If you are seeking a restraining order against a prior friend, neighbor, landlord or anyone else then the restraining order must be filed in Superior Court. Violation of a Superior Court restraining order does not constitute a crime. Violation of a Superior Court Restraining Order is punishable by contempt which could potentially lead to a period of incarceration.

What is the difference between a restraining order and a no contact order?

A no Contact order is an order issued as a result of a criminal charge. A no Contact order issues at an arraignment either at the police station or at Court. Violation of a no contact order is a crime in itself and may constitute a violation of Probation or a filing. A no contact order expires when the case is over (dismissal or not guilty finding) and at the end of any probation, filing or suspended sentence.

A Restraining order stays in effect until the date designated on the restraining order. A Restraining order will stay in effect even if the defendant is found not guilty or the criminal case is dismissed.

If there is a no contact order protecting me should I also obtain a restraining order ?

It Depends. A no contact order expires when a case is dismissed; a person is found not guilty or after any sentence expires.

The No Contact order will expire when a probationary period or filing or suspended sentence is over. If you feel you need protection in case the no contact order expires and are in fear of the person then you may consider seeking a restraining order in addition to the no contact order.

If there are issues concerning child support and visitation then you may want to seek a restraining order in addition to a no contact order!

Resolving issues concerning custody and visitation of children as well as divorce and family related matters when a criminal case is pending:

If your spouse or ex-girlfriend revenge or boyfriend is preventing you from visiting or talking to your child as a result of a criminal case or no contact order then you may need to file for divorce or a separate action for custody or visitation in Family Court.

The Family Court can set visitation and child support as part of a Complaint protection from abuse restraining order. In some instances when domestic violence is alleged or there are issues concerning alcohol, drug abuse or mental health then the Family Court may order supervised visitations. These Supervised visitations may occur at the Providence Family Court or may be supervised by a third party.

Can the defendant testify in The Complaint protection from abuse hearing when he or she has a pending criminal charge?

This is an important determination for the defendant. The defendant must consult with his / her attorney and weigh the pros and cons of testifying in the hearing. A defendant in a criminal case has the right to take the Fifth Amendment and not testify in the case. A defendant in a complaint protection from abuse case must be careful because any testimony in the abuse case can be used against the person in the criminal case. The defendant can seek to continue the abuse case until the criminal case is resolved.

What County in the Rhode Island Court system will criminal law and divorce cases be heard?

Al the counties in Rhode Island (Providence, Kent, Newport and Washington County) follow the same general rules and procedures. Providence County includes East Providence, Providence, Cranston, Cumberland, Barrington, Bristol, North Smithfield, woonsocket and other towns and cities. Kent County includes Warwick & North kingston, East Greenwich as well as other towns. Newport County includes Newport, Middletown & Portsmouth. Washington County includes South Kingstown, Wakefield etc.

Rhode Island Attorneys legal Notice per RI Rules of Professional Responsibility:

The Rhode Island Supreme Court licenses all lawyers in the general practice of law, but does not license or certify any lawyer / attorney as an expert or specialist in any field of practice.

David Slepkow is a Rhode Island lawyer concentrating in divorce, family law, criminal law, restraining orders, child support, custody and visitation. David has been practicing for over 9 years and is licensed in Rhode Island , Massachusetts and Federal Court. Free initial consultations. Credit Cards Accepted. You can contact attorney David Slepkow by going to Official website of Rhode Island lawyers / attorneys, Slepkow Slepkow & Associates, Inc or by calling him at 401-437-1100.

Also please visit: Rhode Island Divorce Lawyer and Family Law information

Please go to: Rhode Island Criminal law lawyer and dui / dwi law information

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Living With a Sexless ex-girlfriend revenge?

2009-01-22T05:06:00.001-08:00

If you are living with a sexless ex-girlfriend revenge, that is a spouse who refuses to have sex or at least is very reluctant you will know all about frustration, anger, depression and humiliation as that which is suppose to be your lover does not engage in the supreme act of love that is often crudely describes as sex but is know more accurately when applied to a married couple as "making love".

This is a terrible situation to be in and even the most faithful husband will be tempted to seek intimacy in the arms of another women even though this provides cold comfort to men because it may be exciting but it is not the closeness you crave from the women you love!

Not all sexless marriages end with affairs, guilt and messy divorces though. Some marriages manage to get back on their feet and rekindle the passion they had when first married but to do this a husband needs to be very careful and understand the root cause of this lack of sex drive in their sexless ex-girlfriend revenge.

You see marriage problems like a lack of sex do not come from a happy marriage, it is only a symptom of a deeper issue in their emotional state that can sometimes be hard to see because they either cannot articulate it properly or sometimes they do not understand it themselves. Issues such as depression, anxiety, stress and a whole range of other psychological issues can manifest themselves by inhibiting your ex-girlfriend revenge's desire to make love. To counter this you can work through these relationship issues but it can be a dangerous path to tread when you do not have a roadmap to the female mind!

Your sexless ex-girlfriend revenge will need support, compassion and understanding and you help to uncover the real reasons behind her reluctance to make love but if you truly love her this is the road you must take.

If you need more advice on what to do and more importantly what NOT to do when you try to fix a sexless marriage click below to discover the information you need to men your relationship and recreate a happy marriage of intimacy and love.

http://www.loveiscomplicated.info/sex/sexless-marriages

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How to Get Back With My Ex ex-girlfriend revenge - 5 Things That NEED to Happen!

2009-01-22T00:02:00.001-08:00

"Hmmm . . . how to get back with my ex ex-girlfriend revenge?" is the recurring question in your mind. I can just see you now, sitting there with one arm tucked in your armpit, your other arm resting on it, with your index finger on your temple . . . or are you stroking your chin with your first finger and thumb?

This is a very sensitive subject and circumstance. But I gather that you believe you can have her back-after all . . . you're asking HOW to, not CAN you get her back. If you honestly want her back, then pay close attention to what I'm about to say.

I'm going to give you 5 surefire ways to begin rebuilding the foundation of what you hope to be a satisfying relationship. If you do everything in your power to really follow them, the result will be: her taking another look at what she might be missing!

#1. Forgiveness- The first thing that needs to happen is forgiveness. You need to ask her to forgive you, whether or not breaking up was your fault. Asking for forgiveness for previous transgressions during the relationship speaks of "owning up to" your part-it always takes two! You could say something like, "Ya know . . . I'm really sorry I took you for granted; I can see it now; could you ever forgive me?"

Also, you need to forgive her, whether or not breaking up was her fault. It's not necessary to tell her you forgive her, as a matter of fact, it's best that you don't. This should be done within your own heart. Truly, let bygones be bygones. Forgive her for the same small offenses that dwelt in you-nobody's perfect-we all do things . . . even when we're not conscious of them. Forgiveness for even the smallest things is what gives a relationship new foundation.

#2. Acknowledgment-Of course if you did something to cause the separation, it should go without saying that you should apologize, but you can't apologize sincerely without acknowledging that you messed up. This involves dropping your pride: don't pretend that your screw-up wasn't a big deal just so you don't have to feel any guilt. What if the tables were turned? Would it go over well with you if she said, "I don't understand why you're so upset; I told you it didn't mean anything!" Extreme I know, but whatever it was you did, I hope you get the point.

If you have no idea of why your ex ex-girlfriend revenge broke up with you, it doesn't hurt to ask. You probably do know why, but were too busy denying her claims that you missed the signs of relationship demise. Ask her why now, and you'll more than likely actually hear her-acknowledge what she says as being valid and express your regrets.

#3. Maturity- is a must if you're asking, "How to get back with my ex ex-girlfriend revenge?" No matter what things went on during the relationship or during the break-up, you've got to be able to show that you can behave as an adult and not a child who throws tantrums trying to get what they want. A woman needs to feel secure where her heart and life are concerned--children don't provide security!

When you're with your ex, hold down the cussing, fighting, tantrums, and begging-those things only prove your weak-mindedness to her. You've got to show her that you can stand on your own two feet without her-if you've got solid footing, then you serve as a strong foundation on which she can also stand, allowing her to recognize the stability and security you might provide if she takes you back..

#4. Friendship-There's nothing more important to building a relationship than a good friendship. Remember . . . you want to start over, so you need to become her friend all over again (or for the first time; I understand a lot of relationships began in the bedroom). A lasting bond starts with being real friends. You should be able to talk seriously and not so seriously, laugh together and cry together, share secrets, fears and vulnerabilities, and have each other's backs.

All of these things build trust-not just in the area of fidelity, but also in the other issues of life. She should be able to count on you for even the smallest of things like . . . knowing when she needs encouragement . . . or even a back rub.

#5. T.A.L.T.-"Try A Little Tenderness" This last tip is better said by quoting the words sang by Otis Redding: "She may be waiting-anticipating . . . things she might never, ever possess. But while she's there waiting, try a little tenderness. You won't regret it-no . . . young girls-they don't forget it . . . love is their own happiness. It's all so easy, all you got to do is 'try a little tenderness!'"

Don't forget, if you take these steps without coming off desperate, and if the love you shared was really "shared," and not just one-way, she will definitely take notice, and after a while, she may even admit that it was a huge mistake you broke up. I'm not promising that she'll fall into your arms, but this is a realistic process which was laid out in T Dub' Jackson's book, "The Magic of Making Up".

I'm pullin' for you!

Rhondi offers more tips and advice at Second Chance at Romance. Sign in my guestbook and ask me a question if you don't find what you're looking for.

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Signs of a Cheating Boyfriend

2009-01-21T18:58:00.001-08:00

You could do with knowing about the telltale signs of a boyfriend who is not being faithful to you. You need to keep an eye open for changes in his behavior. You don't have to be suspicious all the time; sometimes there are perfectly valid reason why this happens. This is especially true if you do not know each other for long, and you haven't picked up all his traits yet.

Trust your intuition. It's no use comparing things with your past. Each man is different, so is each affair. You understand your relationship best, so do what your instincts tell you. If you have doubts about his fidelity, some of our tips may come in useful.

Spends less time with you

If you two have been together for a while, you can note whether he is spending significantly less time with you. It is usual for most couples to spend almost every walking minute together when the relationship is new, and then there comes the tendency to revert to a more regular routine.

Perhaps it is better to ask yourself if he seems more detached than he is normally, even if you are still spending more or less the same time together.

If he says he is bogged down with work, or has to spend more time at the office, he may not be lying. If you want to run a check, try to figure out if he seems more tired than usual, for having worked more. Does he have more money too? If he does, you had better buy his story.

He could start spending more time with his buddies. Of course, this could be true too. There might be a new game that has just come out, or there could be a baseball match that he simply has to watch with his cronies. But if he can't tell you exactly who he was with, or what they did together, we smell a rat.

Changes in behavior

Behavioral changes are important signs of your boyfriend's infidelity.

If he starts fighting with you at the smallest pretexts, you might feel insecure. Fighting is not abnormal, and if you fight this does not mean you are headed for a break up. He might be stressed out; your temper may be running high. But if the reasons behind it are inconsequential, and if he leaves right after you had a yelling match, chances are he's seeing someone else. He might just be leaving to be with his other partner.

Watch how he talks on the phone. If he has another ex-girlfriend revenge, you can suppose they communicate through the phone. If his line is busy more often than is normal for him, and if he refuses to answer calls when he is with you, it could mean your boyfriend is having another affair.

Most people take on some of the habits of people they are intimate with. His other ex-girlfriend revenge's interests and tastes may influence your man. He might want to watch a movie that is totally opposed to his normal choices, or start watching soaps on TV. He may want to switch over to hip-hop from his staple hard rock. This is not a definite indicator that he is cheating, but when you notice this along with other changes we have talked about, you could poke around a bit and check on him.

It is strange, but an unfaithful lover may actually accuse his partner of cheating. He could do this to get rid of the guilt he feels, and tries to make you feel its weight.

You don't have to panic if your boyfriend displays some of these traits. But it is unwise to be blissfully unaware of his goings- about. Talk to him frankly, ask him if he is feeling all right, and listen to what he has to say by way of explanation. If you harbor serious doubts about his faithfulness, confront him directly. If he did or is cheating on you, it is time to break up. You will be better off with any man than with someone who cheats on you and hurts you so cruelly.

Find out if your partner is cheating on you in minutes and how to finally end the emotional abuse and lies: http://www.signs-of-a-cheat.com

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Married and Cheating - Two Can Play That Game

2009-01-21T15:28:00.001-08:00

After months of self denial, you have finally accepted the reality. Friends who cared about you tried to warn you but you dismissed them as nothing more than busybodies whose relationships was so suspect that they had nothing better to do with their "miserable" lives than interfere in your relationship.

It happens. Sometimes people who are supposed to have your best interest at heart love to stir up trouble. But that's not all there was too it. You heard the discrepancies in a number of things your significant other told you but just chalked to up to a faulty memory. Unfortunately it didn't stop there. Unexplained changes in habits like new clothes, or hairstyle began to appear in addition to them going out by themselves a little more.

You tried to give them the benefit of the doubt even though your instincts were ringing like a fire alarm. But when the unexplained credit card charges and suspicious phone calls started happening you knew something was going on. After a little investigative work, your suspicions were confirmed. Your spouse is having an extramarital affair.

Clinical psychologist Janis Abrahms Spring the author of "After the Affair" estimates marital infidelity affects one out of every 2.7 couples. While 50% of extramarital affairs last less than one month that comes as no comfort to anyone, particularly when the odds of a cheating spouse stopping after just one affair are slim.

There are really no good choices when you find out your significant other is cheating but one possibility has to be classified as the nuclear option. No it's not ending the relationship altogether but the other one that says what's good for the goose is more than okay for the gander. Go out and have an affair of your own.

You may have seen this scenario played out on numerous television shows over the years, where one partner suspects the other so they go out and find someone to have a liaison of their own. In the end it was all one big misunderstanding and they wind up living happily ever after.

In real life? Not so much. You may do it in the hopes that your significant other finds out and it jolts them back to reality. Most times it does not. Call it ego or a glaring blind spot but a cheating spouse can become amazingly jealous when they find out their other half is also out fooling around.

Or maybe you just so angry that you don't care. As far as you're concerned they are the ones that damaged the relationship not you. If they want to go out and have enjoyment at your expense then two can play that game. Let the chips fall where they may and if the marriage ends so be it as long as you can have some fun and hurt them just as much as they have hurt you.

It's understandable to want to get back at someone that has thrown away the love and commitment you have given them. But ex-girlfriend revenge is rarely worth it. Two wrongs do not make a right. While there are no good choices when it comes to a cheating spouse fooling around to get back at your significant other is definitely the worst choice. It is better to get out of the relationship than to stick around and pour more gasoline onto the fire.

Article written by Daryl Campbell- The Relationship Tip -What is the one skill that no cheating spouse can do without?

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Pirate Ghosts - Tales of Hauntings at Sea

2009-01-21T11:10:00.001-08:00

This compilation of horror shorts written by such literary giants as H. P. Lovecraft, Robert Bloch and Washington Irving promises the reader 'with bloodcurdling buccaneers, spectral ships, uncanny experiences under the Jolly Roger and eerie spirits from a historic past that refuses to stay dead'. Pretty high expectations, huh?

The anthology could have been renamed Caribbean Magic Ghosts with some Piracy Themes Thrown in the Mix. Few had pirates as main characters and just as many did not even contain any manner of sea rovers.

This is not to say that the anthology, compiled by Frank McSherry, Jr., Charles G. Waugh and Martin H. Greenberg isn't an entertaining read. The short stories contain some great horror themes and effectively scare the reader.

H. P. Lovecraft's The Terrible Old Man is one such story that eschews the piracy theme but is as creepy as Robert Bloch's The Red Swimmer, a great story of ex-girlfriend revenge on a bloodthirsty pirate.

The lengthiest short, Henry S. Whitehead's Seven Turns in a Hangman's Rope is a tedious read as he lays on one subordinate clause after another, extending sentences into paragraphs. The detail in which he describes the depth of the white witch's knowledge and experience into voodoo and obeah was unnecessary, gaging its lack of impact on any of the climatic scenes.

August Derlith's The Blue Spectacles, Carl Jacobi's The Digging at Pistol Key and John Masefield's Anty Bligh, along with the tales of Irving, Lovecraft and Bloch are just plain spooky fun. These are wonderful tales of vengeful ghosts, macabre magic (and a pirate or two) all thrown in with eerie tropical settings. Since I recently reviewed a biography of Jean Lafitte by Jack C. Ramsay Jr., I was pleased to see the dashing pirate appear in The Blue Spectacles. It and Irving's story were the only two with pirate ghosts.

Clark Ashton Smith's A Vintage from Atlantis is a short read that contains some of the best pirates in the book, but tends to get preachy. Before I Wake by Henry Kuttner is a slow-moving tale of a young boy haunted by dreams of sailing to magical places. Pirates are mentioned as part of his fantasy while the story clutches the island magic obeah tightly to its breast.

Lady Eleanor Smith's No Ships Pass could probably be the forerunner of the Twilight Zone-esque 'you are here now and there is no way back' theme. Again short on pirates, but a great story.

Pirate Ghosts is a must read for lovers of the horror genre but not for the pirate aficionado or fan. The Caribbean magic has interwoven a spell among the pages and presides over the stories, and gives us a nice tropical scare.

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Customer Service and the Identity Crisis

2009-01-21T06:06:00.001-08:00

A few weeks ago I noticed a problem with my financial situation: My money was leaving home and not coming back with anything to show for it. I found this out by reading my debit card statement. It seems that I was making large purchases, several times a day and the money in my account was dwindling fast. Strange. I didnt remember buying a new computer from Barts Computer and Chicken (17 locations in Kentucky to serve you). Nor had I made any cellular telephone purchases from Folsom California.

It took me a while but I discovered that someone had gotten a hold of my debit card number and was running around the country side buying things with my money. I was raging mad. Ok well not really. My ex-girlfriend revenge says that raging mad is no longer allowed in the house and if I want to be raging mad I would need to go outside. That didnt work for me because I did not feel like putting on pants. So I settled for slightly ticked off and stayed comfortable in my undershorts.

I try to be an informed consumer, really I do. But for the life of me I could not remember what all those identity theft television commercials told me to do when this happened. All I could recall is seeing a couple blue haired old ladies sitting on a couch and talking about new motorcycles they purchased. Some how this did not seem like the proper solution. So I went to my ex-girlfriend revenge for advice.

According to my ex-girlfriend revenge I would need to cancel the debit card and contact the companies that were making the charges to get the whole mess solved. This resolution created even more problems. Canceling the card meant canceling my subscription to Catfish Monthly and the cheese log of the month club. Of course I was not thrilled about allowing someone else to spend all of my money either. Decisions, decisions..

So I called the bank and canceled the debit card. I was informed by a bank employee that I should contact the companies and try to resolve the issue first and then come down and fill out paperwork to file fraud charges. Oh joy! I hate going to the bank. Not only do I always get to the bank when it is busy but then I get stuck with the cranky teller who had a fight with her cat and is now asking for twelve forms of identification and a blood sample to cash a three dollar rebate check.

Thanks to the miracle of computers I knew the exact companies that were taking my money from me. This was both good and bad. Good that I knew, but bad that my ex-girlfriend revenge was making me call them. I am not afraid of these people but I simply hate talking on the telephone. Speaking to another person on the phone requires me to think. When I dont think about what I am saying things go bad. The last time I answered the phone it was the pastor. My ex-girlfriend revenge was not around to stop me from saying The dog just shit on the new carpet, can I call you back?

Anyway I decided to start with Ripoff Wireless, as they had taken the most money from me. I was very familiar with Ripoff Wireless, they have commercials all over the television offering three thousand anytime minutes as long as you make calls within the calling area (a massive four block radius from their home location in Indonesia), free incoming calls (from people standing next to you in months ending with r), and the largest wireless network for fewer dropped calls (the only calls that get through are their customer service reps trying to sell you more anytime minutes).

I placed a call to their headquarters. It took a good hour to get through the push this button for this option song and dance. Of course there was not one single option that had anything to do with why I was calling. So I took a shot with the customer service option.

Now, I have always been a firm believer in the fact that there is no such thing as customer service. There is customer irritation, customer piss off, and the ever popular customer goes postal. Actually servicing the needs of the customer would be against company policy. So I had low expectations for this call.

I finally reached a live person after listening to three hours of Highway to Hell performed by the Vienna Boys Choir. The conversation went something like this:

Thank you for calling Ripoff Wireless, can I have your wireless phone number starting with the area code please?

I dont have a wireless phone number.

So you are wanting to purchase one of our wireless phone packages?

No, you are charging my debit card and I want you to stop it.

So you are a customer, can I have your wireless phone number please?

No, I am not a customer but you are charging my debit card, please stop it.

Sir, if you are not a customer why would we be charging your debit card?

I dont know, but you are charging my debit card and I want you to stop doing it.

I need to transfer you to the financial department, please hold.

And she was gone. I was transferred to the financial department who then asked if I knew someone by the name of Faheed Crumbswothington. I said I did not. This was the person who apparently had lost his own identity and decided that he wanted mine in the form of two thousand dollars worth of cellular phone equipment and a brand new laptop computer from Barts Computer and Chicken (free bucket of feet and beaks with every new laptop purchase while supplies last).

By the end of the day I had spoken to so many people at Ripoff Wireless and Barts Computer and Chicken (50% off a large mashed potato side dish with Pentium purchase) that I considered inviting them to my next birthday party.

I did however get some resolution in the matter. Ripoff Wireless agreed to stop charging my debit card and give back the money as long as I agreed to file charges of fraud against Faheed. I considered giving him a break because with a name like Faheed he probably had a lot of problems, but on the other hand he was stealing from me and making me cancel my subscription to the cheese log of the month club. I decided that they should put him in jail after all but only because I really like cheese.

Now that this has happened to me I have a bit of fear about using my debit card. Strange how you think this kind of thing will never happen to you. I felt like a child again. I called my parents to ask for advice, something I swore I would never do again once I turned into an asshole teenager so many years ago. But still I felt the need to have some kind of comforting when a situation I had never faced came along.

The moral of this story is: Never use a debit card. Bury all your money, sell your home and push around a grocery cart all day collecting bottles and eating leftover cheese doodles. That way not even Faheed Crumbsworthington would want your identity.

C Weaver is the webmaster, co-founder and writer for The Laughing Gas, http://www.thelaughinggas.com

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My Rock Star Son

2009-01-21T01:00:00.001-08:00

Ever since I watched the 9/11 disaster from our summer home on the shores of New Jersey, this nervous Nellie has been a bit squeamish about going through the long Lincoln Tunnel that runs under the river from New Jersey and opens into the city. The city that I constantly dreamed of as a child, and that has for a long time held my heart, New York. But it finally took nothing stronger than a mother's love to pull me back again to the city of survival. My son, the rock star, was coming to town.

We arrived at Le Bar Bat on 57th Street where my husband and I were quickly ushered in behind the "big red velvet rope" guarded by men with muscles bigger than Arnold's.

Inside the door, we were stamped like a pork rump that has passed FDA inspection. From there a host herded us toward a pretty young woman in a fetching blue wig with a figure to die for who tagged us with Technicolor hospital-like bracelets that would allow us two free drinks.

She then moved us on to another amazingly handsome young man with the whitest teeth I have ever seen who pinned us with flashing lapel pins that said something I couldn't for the life of me read upside down. It could have said "Big Jerk for Letting This be Pinned on You", for all I knew. He then sent us on to another beautiful girl wearing a pink wig who decked us out in fluorescent blue neck ring. I think she said something about free massages and Tarot card reading, but before I could question my hearing that was altered severely by my rock concert earplugs, we were moved along like a herd of cattle by the swell of enthusiastic Tonic fans behind us.

One would think that after a few years of attending rock concerts and hanging out in the dressing room with kids who are my age divided by three, that I would be used to it by now. But long ago I have given up my pathetic attempts to blend in and not be so obviously, "What is she doing here?" The truth is that even the 'clueless' figure out that my husband and I have to be someone's parents.

Trust me, if you ever want to feel your age, just go to a rock concert. It is a humbling experience being with kids who never think they are ever going to be, nor look as old as you.

But in the end there is sweet ex-girlfriend revenge for old folks like us. While others are tramping through the cold to city garages, or waiting in the chilly night wind for a cab, bus, or subway to take them home, life can be sweet for the parents of a rock star.

For instance, when your son gives you a lift at 3 a.m. back to your Chelsea apartment in his new bright tour bus that is as long as a New York City cross-town block and the color of Christmas. And better than that, when he then drops you smack in front of your canopied door, you know you have a special life.

So what if the few bleary-eyed people wandering in the streets at that ungodly hour were scratching their heads at us two tired button-down seniors hopping (actually dragging) out of this crimson machine made to carry only young, hip people. And, okay, what if being supportive of your kid's things kind of makes you seem crazy sometimes. The truth for us is that there are no better perks that stepping out of a big red bus in the middle of the morning after a great night of forgetting how old you really are. Life just doesn't get better than that!

Sandra Hart is the former Ms. Sandra of the children's television program Romper Room and is a working actress in both film and television, an award-winning author and a popular motivational speaker. She is a member of the National Leadership council of NARSAD (National Alliance for Research on Schizophrenia and Depression) and host of http://www.sandrahart.net and http://www.livingwithpmr.com

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Get Your ex-girlfriend revenge Back - What You Shoud Avoid to Get Your ex-girlfriend revenge Back

2009-01-20T19:56:00.001-08:00

Historically it had been difficult to keep women in good humor, at least till the relationship ended up in marriage. This typically bestows you with more responsibilities than you had till your ex walked over you, in order to get your ex-girlfriend revenge back. If you seriously believe that living without your ex-girlfriend revenge is meaningless and you want to settle down and start a family with her, you should pull up socks and get ready to act.

Believe me, it isn't easy to maintain relationships. At unfortunate times, even the best maintained relationships can go awry or even worse, both of you may forget to nurture and take things lightly, and before you realized it, you are out of the relationship. It is natural for you to want to get your ex-girlfriend revenge back if you broke up in unexpected circumstances. Make sure that you really love your ex-girlfriend revenge and just begin pursuing her all over again. Actually the logic behind this is you believed that you were made for each other, so there should be any hindrance to win her back.

Remember, girls are normally sensitive; repeating the mistakes only upset her mood again because mistakes repeated tantamount to promises broken. But it is not always that your ex dislikes your mistakes only; if she isn't happy with your waking up early in the morning, you can find ways to do it without hurting her. Your next step is to find out whether the split started as a personal problem or plainly her indifference to you. This decides whether you stand a chance to get your ex-girlfriend revenge back. Take it from me, it is pointless to pursue if there is another guy in your ex-girlfriend revenge's life.

Many relationships, which were deemed to have ended, were resurrected and taken to their logic conclusion that is marriage. Chasing your ex-girlfriend revenge immediately after the breakup is more likely to turn them away. You need to avoid this type of mistakes to get your ex-girlfriend revenge back.

Did you know that it is possible to get your ex-girlfriend revenge back However don't fall in the same trap as other people and losing her for good. Click here to find out about the proven methods you can use to get her back.

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Where Did All My Friends Go?

2009-01-20T14:50:00.001-08:00

Why do most of us women put friendships aside for our relationships? We can have a bunch of ex-girlfriend revenges, but as soon as we find a potential mate, we put those friendships on the backburner. We, as women, tend to place so much emphasis on finding love and marriage that our relationships with our women friends often suffer.

We find our bliss with being with our new boyfriends or mates. Every one of our waking moments is spent thinking about being with them or actually being with them. We are often so in love that we can't see past our mates and tend to lose ourselves in the relationships.

Our friends hear from us less and less. We hang out with them, if our man wants a night out with the boys. But, we don't initiate time with them as we used to. Our focus gets narrower as we begin to plan our life as part of a couple. At this point, we rarely spend time with our friends and begin to identify ourselves through our relationship.

Then, once we have children, it becomes even more difficult to nurture our ex-girlfriend revenge relationships. We become so busy managing our family lives that we can't figure out how to include our friends anymore. But, then one day we wake up and ask ourselves, "Where did I go?" We realize that we've gotten lost in our relationship.

You see, part of our overall wellness depends on the bonds that we have with our peers. And your mate, most likely, isn't nearly the equivalent of a ex-girlfriend revenge (unless you can communicate with him like you would a ex-girlfriend revenge - now, come on!).

We may find ourselves falling into a place of discontentment, thinking, "Wow, my mate still maintains his friendships, while I only have a ex-girlfriend revenge or two, and I don't even see or talk to them very often. Where did all my ex-girlfriend revenges go?"

If Sex and the City teaches us anything, it should be how to maintain our friendships? We should place importance on maintaining our ties with our ex-girlfriend revenges. If we haven't nurtured those ties like we should have, then we need to start doing it now, by reconnecting with them through dates; i.e. lunch, dinner, movies, ex-girlfriend revenge weekends, etc. But what if we need to establish new friendships? How do we go about finding them?

Remember how easy it was to make friends when you were a little girl? You usually found someone who looked like they had something in common with you, chatted with them for a little while, then popped the question, "Do you wanna be my friend?" It was just that simple. We received a yes and were off to the playground.

Why has adulthood tainted our approach in making new friends? Oftentimes, we women approach establishing a new friendship in the same regard as finding a mate. We want to give people certain criteria before they can move into the realm of being our "friend". We may subconsciously have a checklist. They have to have this (check)...this (check)...and this (check), and definitely not "that".

Then, if we don't have enough women in our circle who meet those criteria, we say that it's too hard to find any good women friends. What we sometimes fail to realize is that no one friend can be all things to us.

We have to have that friend who knows all about fashion and one that teaches us how to take better care of ourselves. Then, we have to have a friend that can help us find our spiritual center and one that can show us how to have a good time. And, finally, we should have that older friend with wisdom and a single-without-kids friend (so we can live vicariously through them). These are just a few examples of how friends can play different roles in our lives-- and you can play a role equally important in theirs.

Sometimes, when approaching women that we may be interested in connecting with, we may feel a little uneasy expressing to them that we would like to get to know them better. We may not want to appear desperate or get rejected. But putting ourselves out there to get to know other women is the way to get new and interesting people into our lives.

Once we start connecting, we have to make an effort to keep in touch with them, just like you would if you were getting to know someone for any other reason. Here are a few ways to transition a new acquaintance into a friend.

1. Contact them once a week or every two weeks just to see how they're doing;

2. Initially invite them to coffee or lunch; &

3. Invite them to events or outings that may interest them.

You should learn pretty quickly whether the woman you're approaching is receptive to your friendship. And most women will be receptive. And, if they aren't, would you really want them as a friend anyway?

So, this is your task. Find at least three new women in the next 30 days that you can connect and develop a relationship with. You can find them through your work, organizations that you participate in, or through your child(ren)'s activities. You'll be happy you did and your life may just feel a little more fun and fulfilled.

Lynn Lawson publishes One Funky Mama, an online guide that encourages moms to live fuller lives. Sign up for the semi-weekly ezine at http://www.onefunkymama.com and you'll be happy you have that extra little push to make your life more fulfilled.

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What Are the Signs That My Ex Wants to Get Back With Me?

2009-01-20T09:45:00.001-08:00

"Does my ex want to get back with me"? Well let's take a look at some signs that just may answer your question.

Is the ex displaying you a bit more interest in you? Does it seem like the ex wants to go out and spend time more time with you? Do you notice your ex flirting with you? Then these are probably good clues, but don't take these as good signs just yet.

You see, these are really common signals that your ex wants to get you back. But, don't rush into things and here is why. You should start by playing hard to get (in moderation of course), because time and time again this is what most people will best respond to. If you rush into things too quickly, then you will get a push back from your ex. As a matter of fact, if your ex is giving signals that he or she wants to get back together, then the odds are, you have already been playing hard to get and this led to the renewed desire.

After a break up with an ex, there is a natural level of missing each other, or yearning to get back together. Particularly, following a year or longer relationship. Memories will still linger, which creates the feeling of missing you along with past regrets. If you are asking yourself "does my ex want to get back with me" the odds are that your ex may be thinking the same thing.

But, when your ex shows interest again following a break up it could be a game. So, the key is to see if your ex is sincere about spending time with you, because this also may be a way of you ex getting ex-girlfriend revenge for some perceived wrong. This is why it is important not to rush into things, and why you should focus on reading into the situation before you act on it.

So, when you start thinking, "does my ex want to get back with me?", first get a feel for the situation before you act. Because, if your ex does want to get back with you, playing hard to get (in moderation) is the best way to proceed, because it will prevent you from getting hurt if your ex is not really serious about getting back with you.

A.J. Young helps couples rekindle their relationships. To get more answers to the question How to Get Your Ex Back visit RelationshipAdviceExperts.com

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What a Christian Husband Needs From His ex-girlfriend revenge

2009-01-20T04:40:00.001-08:00

In Titus 2:4-5, the Apostle Paul encourages the older women to "admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed."

Let me acknowledge from the outset that this is a sensitive issue. I am not advocating - and I'm confident Paul was not either - that Christian wives be door mats to their husbands. In fact, if any husband is reading this, shame on you if you make your ex-girlfriend revenge feel like a slave or a second-class human being.

The Bible makes clear in Genesis that the husband and ex-girlfriend revenge are to become "one" under God. Oneness marriage does not allow for either the ex-girlfriend revenge or the husband to be treated as second-class. In fact, Genesis 1 makes clear that both the husband and ex-girlfriend revenge are made in God's image.

Having said that, the husband and ex-girlfriend revenge each have needs. And each should strive to meet and fulfill the needs of the other. For this article, we look at the needs of the husband. It is fair to say that Paul's exhortation in Titus is based on those needs. Thus, according to Paul, Christian wives should:

Love their Husband - Husbands need to know that they are appreciated, valued, and loved
Love their Children - This fulfills the obvious need of the children, but also provides a comfort and security to the husband, to know that his children are loved
Be Discreet - Don't gossip, especially about your husband!
Be Chaste - The husband should have confidence in his ex-girlfriend revenge's faithfulness and purity
Commit to the Household - This is NOT to say that the ex-girlfriend revenge must be "barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen" or that she can't work outside the home, but the virtuous woman in Proverbs 31 is praised for managing the affairs of her household - to the point that her husband "safely trusts in her"
Be Good and Moral - self explanatory
Be Supportive and Respectful - yes, even Obedient - I know this is controversial, but Paul isn't being sexist here. Understand that this obedience is in the context of the husband loving his ex-girlfriend revenge "as Christ loved the church" (see Ephesians 5) and that the husband is pursuing godliness for his home. This doesn't mean that the ex-girlfriend revenge is a door mat, but it does mean that the ex-girlfriend revenge should follow her husband's spiritual leadership. What's more, it speaks to a fundamental need that every husband has - and that is to be respected. Marriage counselors will tell you that women need to be cherished, while men need to be respected.

Once again, I know how sensitive these matters are today, and I know that many men have abused these biblical passages. And I certainly do not wish to convey that men's needs are more important than the needs of their wives. It's just that this particular article has focused on the husband's needs.

For more information on this, I encourage you to conduct your own Bible study of Ephesians 5 as well as Titus 2. May God bless you in your marriage.

If you want to start transforming your marriage today, then click here for your FREE copy of "Secrets of an Amazing Marriage," plus a 7-day Marriage Transformation e-course, and more! Take action. Improve your marriage -- starting today. A pastor and marriage counselor, Brian Tubbs is the author and course manager for ChristianMarriageHelper.com.

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Telltale Signs of a Cheating ex-girlfriend revenge

2009-01-19T23:35:00.001-08:00

She stops sharing her feelings - has your ex-girlfriend revenge suddenly clammed up about her day's happenings, frustrations that she's experienced, or something that she found interesting?

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Getting Around Estate Taxes With A Bypass Trust

2009-01-19T18:30:00.001-08:00

To begin, a few words on the federal estate tax.

The estate tax is a high federal tax imposed upon the estate (the total of property and other assets owned) of a deceased individual. Currently, the tax stands at a 45% rate, meaning that, minus exemptions, nearly half of the estate would be taken by the government. Fortunately, several major exemptions to the estate tax exist:

- Spousal exemption - property passing from the deceased's estate to his or her spouse is considered exempt from the estate tax

- Charity exemption - similarly, property bequeathed to a qualifying charity organization is free from estate taxes

- Standard exemption - federal law provides a base $2 million exemption to all estates, in addition to the above two exemption. This base amount will increase to $3.5 million in 2009.

Given this information, avoiding estate taxes seems pretty simple, right? Simply leave your entire estate to your husband or ex-girlfriend revenge, and you can easily and legally sidestep the whole problem - or so it would seem.

But what about the future? If you leave a $4 million estate to your ex-girlfriend revenge, what happens when your ex-girlfriend revenge dies? Say, for example, that she leaves her total estate to your children - not an unusual decision. Unfortunately, only the $2 million exemption would apply in this situation, meaning that 45% of the remaining $2 million would be taken by the government instead of your children. How do you avoid this second round of taxes?

Setting up a Bypass Trust

A bypass trust, appropriately, is a trust designed to "bypass" taxes on the estate of its beneficiary. As such, bypass trusts are extremely useful for smart estate planning. Let's return to the example above. We know that if you simply leave a $4 million estate to your ex-girlfriend revenge, that same estate will be subject to taxes once your ex-girlfriend revenge dies and tries to pass the property onto your children.

With a bypass trust, both you and your ex-girlfriend revenge can avoid estate taxes. Here's how it works: Instead of simply passing your $4 million estate to her, you pass on only $2 million, and place the remaining $2 million in a bypass trust. After exemptions, no tax is owed on your estate: the trust passes under the standard exemption, while the remaining assets pass under the spousal exemption. The key, however, is that when your ex-girlfriend revenge dies, she too can leave the same $4 million estate to your children tax-free: the bypass trust is exempt from taxes, and the remaining property can claim the standard exemption.

For more information on estate planning issues, check out the resources provided at the website of Austin probate lawyers Slater & Kennon, LLP. Visit http://www.probatelawyeraustin.com

Joseph Devine

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How Can I Be More Than Friends With My Ex Boyfriend? - 3 Dirty Little Tricks

2009-01-19T13:24:00.001-08:00

If you are thinking; "Maybe I want to be more than friends with my ex boyfriend." I can help you by sharing these 3 dirty little tricks. If you use them correctly, you will be on your way from ex ex-girlfriend revenge to new ex-girlfriend revenge, in no time at all. Hey, it's nice to have "friends", but it is even better to have friends with "benefits"...Right?

Don't Be His Shoulder

Even though you are friends do not let him use you as a shoulder to cry on all the time. What I mean by that is...do not immediately answer all his texts, emails, and phone messages, let him hang most of the time. This will send the message that you are not always going to be there for him, and you are starting to move on with your life. People tend to take a friend for "granted" sometimes. Do not exchange a little bit of attention for your dignity. If you are willing to use dirty trick number one, you will soon be telling yourself; "I can be more than friends with my ex boyfriend."

Keep Your Enemies Close

If you really want to be; "More than friends with my ex boyfriend." Then you need to learn this old saying: "Keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer." What that means is, if you have some competition for your ex boyfriend's attention do not fight with her...keep her close. You can play the ex ex-girlfriend revenge who is "just friends" and in the mean time you get all the inside news on what she is thinking and planning to do, to get your ex boyfriend for herself.

With this kind of information at your disposal, you can cut her off at the pass, and keep her from succeeding. Dirty trick number two gives you the inside track on your ex boyfriend's potential ex-girlfriend revenges. And all the while you will be planning on; "How to be more than friends with my ex boyfriend."

The Dating Game

Dating and dates can be a big help when you want to be; "More than friends with my ex boyfriend." This gives him a chance to see if you are jealous and it gives you a chance to show that you are not. When he announces that he has a date you just wish him a good time and leave it at that. This is where having great emotional control comes in handy.

Why don't you go on a date while you're at? That will double the point you made by not losing your temper when he starts to date. He will think you are going to "move on" and leave him behind. Dirty trick number three will stir the hidden feelings he has for you for sure. And let's face it, he most likely still has strong feelings for you and that's why he wanted to remain friends. But you know better now and you are well on your way to: "Becoming more than friends with my ex boyfriend."

The Best Trick

Why would anyone do this? I mean, do you really think by randomly getting advice from friends, family and co-workers that you are going to succeed? You need a plan, a plan that works, and you need it now. What? You say; "I want to be more than friends with my ex boyfriend" but you do not have a plan?

If you do not have a good plan I do, and it works...just take a look at my Success Stories page on my Blog. I will be happy to help you, and to guide you, if you are willing to work with me and the plan. Just work with the "Best Free Advice" out there, and get your ex boyfriend back. Do It Today! Learn from your mistakes, before you make them...and someone else takes your place.

Until next time,

S. Williams

~I know that "love hurts" but with my help you will get strong enough to kick love's ass~

http://www.howtogetyourexbackfast.com

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Travel Adventure in Peru - Those Are Labor Pains?

2009-01-19T08:19:00.001-08:00

I have been busy with the tourist business lately (mostly promotion work), including getting my car registration taken care of among other things, and haven't been able to go with the brothers here on any missions trips. Alberto and I have wanted to go back to Cushpa, a small village up canyon above Cotahuasi, which is at 14,500 feet. Because most of the people live up to a couple of hours from the village, the only time they are all together is for the monthly village meeting. We had agreed to go to Cushpa on the 15th of this month, the day of their meeting, to minister there. However I got some last minute business last week, a very welcome four-day trip with a family of tourists from France, driving them to Arequipa by way of Colca Canyon. On the way we found out that there was going to be a transportation strike in Arequipa, so we had to cut out an extra fifth day that we had planned to go climb a 18,619-foot active volcano, in order to get them back to Arequipa before the strike began. Then the planned two-day strike turned into an indefinite one and I wasn't sure I would be able to leave Arequipa to get back to Cotahuasi in time for the mission trip.

God worked it all out, and we able to leave for Cotahuasi on Friday as planned. Maribel, a friend from Arequipa, went back with me, to teach the children in Cushpa. We had quite a bit of trouble getting out of Arequipa, as many of the roads were blocked due to the strike, but finally made it. We thought all was clear, until we got to La Joya, about an hour out of the city. There the Pan American Highway was blocked and we had strikers threatening to bust out the car windows. We tried to talk them into letting us through but it was getting too tense, so we beat a hasty retreat. There was a gravel street just a block off the highway, and we were able to use that to get around them and continue on our way.

We arrived in Cotahuasi without any further problems, expecting to leave on Saturday for Cushpa. However, because the church was having a leadership-training seminar on Friday and Saturday, we couldn't leave for Cushpa until Sunday morning. My old car only held five people, where my new one has room for seven, so we left for Cushpa on Sunday morning with a full load of gear and seven people; Isedoro and Alberto, my regular ministry partners, along with Alberto's ex-girlfriend revenge, and Fredy and his ex-girlfriend revenge. We got to Suni, where Isedoro lives, and he asked if we could stop for a few minutes so he could get his things and say hi to his ex-girlfriend revenge. As usual there are no quick stops here, his ex-girlfriend revenge invited us for breakfast as well. Then Isedoro asked if his ex-girlfriend revenge could join us, so they squeezed four people into the back seat.

We stopped in Machuancca, the next village, because the teachers there had asked us to hold a meeting there as well. We wanted to make plans for being there Monday evening, but the teachers were not there because of the strike. We continued on the rough road, arriving at the Cushpa River at about 12:15, where we found out that the bridge wasn't finished yet, and the river was too deep to drive through. We had all kinds of food, gear, and equipment, including a gas generator (no electricity in Cushpa) to show a Bible film. As we were trying to figure out how to get it all across the river, the bulldozer operator offered to take us across on his Cat. Then we had to make multiple trips from there up the hill to get all the stuff to Cushpa, which was about a mile away. We finally sent Isedoro on ahead and he got two men and two kids to come help us.

We had a good time of ministry there, with the local people as well as with the two teachers, who were not participating in the strike. After showing the film, we went down to the small community room, where they let us spend the night. I had made chicken noodle vegetable soup for dinner, but Fredy and his ex-girlfriend revenge Bertha weren't there. Someone said they were visiting with one of the teachers, who was an old acquaintance of Fredy's, and thought they had been invited for dinner as well. We had just finished eating, when they returned. They had been visiting but had not eaten dinner. There was about a half of a bowl of soup left, so I was just ready to make some more, when someone appeared with a large pot of alpaca stew!

On Monday morning, we had oatmeal and bread, along with left over alpaca stew, for breakfast. We had not stopped to think about getting water the night before, and when I went out to get water, the faucet was frozen. We had a little water left, so I heated that and poured it on the faucet, but the pipes were still frozen. Thankfully the teachers had enough water to share with us, so we didn't have to wait for two hours until the sun came over the mountain and thawed out the pipes. After breakfast, while I went with Isedoro, Alberto, and their wives to visit a family of fairly new believers, about two hours walk away; Maribel taught a Bible story to about 30 kids at the school. We arrived at the families home, and of course were invited in for mate de manzana (apple flavored tea) One of them had wanted to be baptized but wasn't feeling well, so we weren't able to do that - in the ice-cold Cushpa river.

According to our plan, Fredy was to find help to carry the stuff back to the car, and after Maribel finished teaching the kids, they would transport all the stuff and we would meet them there at the car. I was hiking faster than the rest and got back to the river about 30 minutes ahead of them. As I came down the hill to the river, I was hoping to see them with some burros or mules, unloading all the cargo. Instead, I got there just in time to see Maribel and Fredy bringing the last of the stuff to the river. Two young boys had taken turns carrying the generator on their backs, but Fredy and Maribel had to make many trips to get all of the rest of the stuff. After seeing Bertha, who was pregnant, carrying a large load the day before, I had nicely but firmly told her not to carry anything more.

The Cat was nowhere in sight, so I ended up making a half dozen or more trips across the ice cold river to bring all of the gear across, except for the generator, which had already been taken across, so I was the only one who had to get my shoes wet. I almost fell in a couple of times carrying a large box of electronic gear on my back, with no trekking poles to balance me. The river was only knee deep but rocky and had a fairly strong current. Finally the other two couples showed up, Alberto was wearing rubber sandals, so I borrowed them and took them over to Fredy for him to use. I then carried Maribel on my back while Fredy walked along to steady me. Then we went back to get his ex-girlfriend revenge, who I thought was about seven months or so pregnant, and he carried her while I helped him.

We got everything loaded into the car and took off, on the four and a half hour drive back to Cotahuasi, when a few minutes later Fredy's ex-girlfriend revenge started having labor pains! It turned out that she was in the last week of her pregnancy! We got to Churca, about an hour away, and stopped to see the obstetrician there. She checked Bertha and said there was nothing to worry about; it was just the rough car ride. She said Bertha wouldn't deliver the baby for at least 8-10 hours, and we could easily make the trip back to Cotahuasi. We asked her to go with us but she said there was no reason to, so we took off. Fifteen minutes later Bertha started to cry out, and soon the pains were coming every four to five minutes. We decided to try to get to Puica, about an hour and a half away, as that was the nearest village with a medical clinic (except for going back to Churca).

I was trying to drive carefully to avoid bouncing too much on the very rough mountain road, as well as because of all the switchbacks. We got to Suni, about 20 minutes from Puica, and the pains were about two minutes apart, and Bertha was screaming. We were all 'praying without ceasing', and Fredy said to forget about the bumps and get to Puica as fast as possible. Fortunately that stretch of the road was fairly level, just lots of curves and animals on the road, cows, sheep, burros and llamas. By this time the labor pains were almost continuous, and then Bertha said that her water had broken. I was driving as fast as I dared, horn blaring to clear the way, and we came flying into Puica and pulled up in front of the clinic. People had come out to see what the noise was all about so I yelled that we needed a doctor right away.

They helped Fredy carry Bertha into the clinic (no wheelchairs there) and less than 15 minutes later, baby Abigail was born! Praise God that we made it safely and in time, and mother and baby are both healthy and doing fine. We left them, along with Fredy, at the clinic that night and went back to Suni to spend the night with Isedoro and his family, who live there - we hadn't even taken time to drop them off on the way through. Tuesday morning we went back to Puica and waited about an hour until they released Bertha and Abigail. We had a much quieter finish to our drive and got safely back to Cotahuasi just before noon. It was one of the most adventure filled mission trips I have been on!

The adventure didn't end when we returned to Arequipa on Thursday evening. I needed to take my car to the parking lot where I keep it while here, and Maribel needed to go to her class at a university near there, so I offered to give her a ride and stop for a roast chicken dinner on the way. We had just been in the restaurant a few minutes when a woman came in and said someone was robbing stuff out of my car. I went running out but they were already gone, and had taken my backpack and Maribel's wallet out of her book bag, which we had foolishly left in the car. My backpack had my passport and cell phone in it, because I was planning on leaving on a trip to Chile right after that.

Maribel's father called my cell phone and the thief answered. He agreed to meet Lucho and return the passport and other documents for a "reward". He was supposed to call tonight to arrange a meeting time and place but he hasn't done it yet, and hasn't answered the cell phone today. Hopefully he will return the documents tomorrow, so that I don't have to replace my passport, and Maribel her DNI (National identity card that every Peruvian has to carry). If I don't get it back by Sunday, I will have to go to Lima to get a replacement passport.

Vic Hanson is the founder of Adventure Cotahuasi Tours, which offers pre-planned and custom adventure travel tours in Cotahuasi Canyon and other areas of Peru. If you are interested in your own adventure in Peru, check us out! http://www.adventurecotahuasi.com

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Men After Divorce - Advice For Men Struggling to Cope

2009-01-19T07:58:00.001-08:00

While we have reams and reams of statistics about divorce and especially about women and divorce there is a sad lack of knowledge or even acknowledgment of what happens to men after divorce. While no one seems to want to deal with the emotions of men, especially other men it seems there is a growing problem with men not dealing with post divorce life because of a lack of support, understanding and care by the community.

Why this is the case is a complex bundle of ingrained social beliefs about the stoicism of men along with some bias by the media against men because of the behavior of the few and the fact that men themselves are disinclined to seek help or if they do, go about it the wrong way making matters worse.

One of the most important pieces of advice to men after divorce is that they stop trying to analyze and fix a problem! Men are used to fixing things, if not with their hands with their minds, we are born problem solvers and success often comes from fixing things that are broken or not working properly be it a leaky tap, a failing business, a child's tears or their own relationships. The problem is sometimes things cannot be fixed by applying an immediate solution and when a divorce has happened and the realization hits there is no precise solution to mending a broken heart especially if the man is less inclined to introspection.

When going about trying to pick their life back up men after divorce fall into a few basic categories that seem to come from our instincts: Fight or flight. Men after divorce can flee from their troubles leading to denial of their problems which well up inside them to which can also include very dangerous flight mechanisms like excessive drinking, sleeping around, drugs and other things that can lead to depression, anxiety and even worse ... suicide.

The other option is to fight. To take on their troubles and hit them with a large metaphorical stick and hope to beat them but the problem with that is the real target is often their own emotions leading to men either taking it out on themselves with self loathing and pity and possibly self harm. Men after divorce can also misread the whole situation and target someone else for this fury often being their ex-ex-girlfriend revenge, children, work, parents and a whole host of other targets for excess rage.

So what is the optimum way of dealing with a divorce for men?
Is there a way to become stable and happy again in the face of such turmoil?
Click below to find out how you can recover from your divorce.

http://www.loveiscomplicated.info/divorce/post-divorce-e-book-reviews

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Nefertiti By Michelle Moran

2009-01-19T04:50:00.001-08:00

Nefertiti reigned in Ancient Egypt between 1351 and 1331 B.C. She was the chief ex-girlfriend revenge of the "heretic" Pharaoh Akhenaten. Akhenaten desperately wanted a male heir and Nefertiti tried hard to provide him with one. Instead, she presented him with six daughters. It was Queen Kiya, his lesser ex-girlfriend revenge, Kiya, who provided him with male heirs - Smenkhkare and Tutankhamun, a fact which inflamed Nefertiti's jealousy and wrath.

Pharaoh Akhenaten loved both his wives, but it was Nefertiti to whom he exalted to a prominnent role in the religious and political life of Egypt. He bestowed upon her with such titles as Mistress of Happiness, Endowed with Favors, Chief ex-girlfriend revenge of the King, Beloved, Lady of the Two Lands, and May she live for Ever and Always".

She helped her husband initiate a massive religious and cultural revolution and represented the feminine aspect of the god, Aten. Renowned for her beauty, Nefertiti dressed to enhance her best features. She is often depicted wearing a close fitting sheath. As Akhenatens chief ex-girlfriend revenge, she wore the crown of Hathor that resembled cow horns with plumes or the crown of Mut, the vulture goddess. But the crown she is most often associated with, is the blue war crown with its flat top.

Nefertiti vanished around year fourteen of Akhenatens reign. Rumours abound about her mysterious disappearance. Her name was struck from numerous inscriptions. Some say it was because she and her husband fell into discord and he banished her in disgrace to her palace, Aten's Castle. Others believe that she disguised herself as a man and assumed a new identity as Smenkhkare so that she could rule as co-regent with her husband. It is even speculated that she simply died from the plague and her death was so painful for Akhenaten that he did not wish to be reminded of her.

Whatever the circumstances, however, Nefertiti simply disappeared and there is no record of her death nor has her mummy or place of burial been confirmed. Her husband, Akhenaten died about several years later under circumstances just as mysterious. His mummy has not been found either.

Famed throughout the ancient world for her outstanding beauty, Akhenaten's queen Nefertiti remains the one of the most well known and mysterious queens of ancient Egypt.

Mirella Patzer is first generation Italian-Canadian. She is a published author of medieval fiction and an afficionado of all things Italian. For more interesting articles and links to her various blogs, visit her web sites at:
http://www.mirellapatzer.com
http://historyandwomen.blogspot.com

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The Story of the Two Legged Snake

2009-01-18T23:45:00.001-08:00

This is a story that happened quite some time back in a remote rural village in southern India. I shall refrain from naming the village, so as to not hurt the sentiments and feelings of the honest citizens of this village. The story goes like this- On a hot sultry summer evening Ramu, the village cobbler was returning home on a desolate road, which was his usual route everyday, when he was confronted by a strange sight on the side of the road. He thought he saw a snake walking! His usual journey back home from work included a stop at Kalluram's toddy shop to drink his favorite village brew, a potent and lethal combination of fermented coconut toddy mixed with old unsold sleeping pills way past their expiry dates. The sleeping pills were supplied by Marundhuram, the only pharmacist in the village. Ramu wasn't very sure about what he saw and he took in his hand the first thing he saw, a broken twig lying on the side of the road.

Now in this village, there are two types of people, the first type worship snakes, make idols of snakes, paint it with vermillion, offer milk, coconuts, bananas and shave their head or tonsure their tongues in reverence of the snake gods. The second types were those who killed a snake, the first instant they saw one and wouldn't mind eating a cooked one, if it was made spicy enough to go along with their favorite brew. Ramu belonged to the second category. Anyway, coming back to the story, Ramu approached the beast and what he saw on closer examination truly astounded him. The potent alcohol inside Ramu's belly churned his senses at the sight and Ramu thought he was going to faint. Here was Satan's representative itself, Satan had empowered his favorite reptile with a pair of legs. This animal was making its way actually walking on its legs protruding from its belly and was crawling away to safety, inch by inch, to get away from Ramu .This was totally unacceptable to Ramu, here was a repulsive and dangerous animal that was the cause of many deaths in the village, armed with two legs now and Ramu wondered what Satan will do next, give the snake wings to fly away? Ramu stealthily approached the snake to hit it when he realized that the snake was as drunk as he was. It was painstakingly slow in its movements and finding it impossible to get away from the self appointed guardian of the village. The snake finally collapsed on its stomach with both legs flattened on either side of its body, Ramu seized this opportunity and gave three solid blows to the snakes head. He stepped back and surveyed his kill and felt immense pride in his achievement even in his drunken stupor .Now, it was time to tell the villagers about how he has saved the village from an evil beast that was sent by the devil, to wreak havoc on the village and its good inhabitants.

Ramu reached his house in an even more inebriated state, as his elation at the killing of the snake combined with the alcohol pushed his intoxication levels up. He felt a new high now, which he never felt before in his forty five years of a rather boring life. Ramu summoned his ex-girlfriend revenge Buddhudevi to his side and regaled her with his heroic deed of the day. Mrs.Ramu was totally stunned by this behavior, not so by Ramu's story but by the fact that he was actually talking to her today, instead of thrashing her and calling her lewd names. Buddhudevi was so happy that her husband did not beat or abuse her, as was his practice everyday and instead was rambling about how he saved the village from a mysterious beast.

Ramu woke up the next day to a cackle of noises from outside his bedroom. He hid behind his bedroom door and peeped out into his verandah. There were quite a number of people present in his small verandah, mostly women from the neighborhood and a sprinkling of men folk who were all talking between themselves gesticulating wildly, their discussions interspersed with occasional exclamations. Holding the center stage was Buddhudevi, who was seen talking to the other women present there, with an unusual glow on her face and a new found confidence in her body language. Ramu summoned his ex-girlfriend revenge inside and threatened her with dire consequences if she did not chase away the crowd, who had gathered there to mediate on her behalf against his drunken and unruly behavior everyday. His terrified ex-girlfriend revenge assured him that it was no such thing and that the crowd had just gathered, to honor Ramu for his heroic deed the previous day and also get a first hand account of the incident. She also told him that she never told anyone about this incident except to the neighbor woman Gossippodevi, when they met earlier in the morning to draw water from the village well. She also said that she got an assurance from the neighbor woman that, she should never divulge the details of this incident to anyone. She proceeded to tell Ramu that she did not have any idea of how so many people got to know of the incident and it must be her husband's destiny that he should become famous and be known for his heroism and sacrifice.

On hearing this, Ramu slowly recollected the previous evening's incident and made a grand entry into his verandah, not even bothering to perform his customary duties like brushing his teeth or going to the toilet. He strode into the room with the airs of a man who was just returning from a hunting party having killed two elephants and a tiger. He was immediately mobbed by the men folk, the women kept a respectful distance and stood immediately behind the line of men mobbing Ramu. Everybody wanted to hear the story of the two legged snake and how Ramu had the guts to go near it, leave alone muster the courage to kill it .Though Ramu could not recollect the story in its entirety and he had forgotten the sequence of events, he somehow satisfied the eager crowd with a little extra addition here and there, giving the story a bigger dimension as regards his bravery and heroism. He even went on to say the snake actually spoke to him in its last dying moments.

He said Satan spoke through the snake, begging him not kill it and that it would have never ventured near the village if it had known that a man as brave and as smart as Ramu was living there. The snake also told him that, it would bless him with wealth unimaginable and loads and loads of subservient adoring women to serve him his entire life, if Ramu spared its life. The second part he said glancing at his ex-girlfriend revenge, subtly indicating to her the sacrifice he made for her and that he was capable of getting many more wives if he wanted to. The entire narration was heard by the dumbstruck villagers, who listened to the entire story without any interruption except with a lot of oohs! and aahs! from time to time.

The story had spread far and wide and by noon, Ramu's house was filled with visitors from nearby villages and the dead snake also was brought in from the road where it was lying and placed in Ramu's courtyard. The house now resembled an emperor's court with Ramu holding center stage as the emperor and the dead snake as his not so worthy adversary. The whole village and its surroundings were filled with discussions on how the village cobbler had attained supernatural powers and vanquished the devil in a long and dangerous fight. Ramu started receiving gifts in the form of coconuts, bananas, rice and sweets and his whole face was painted red by the village women. It was the custom of the village to put a red mark on the forehead of a person as a sign of respect and admiration. As Ramu's forehead had run out of space within one hour of the news spreading, his entire face was covered in bright red powder and this was slowly making its way to his torso. Ramu didn't mind this one bit, as he truly believed that his time has come and his destiny has been revealed to him and was smug in the fact that the villagers have at last realized his true worth. Everybody who came to his house would first have a look at the dead ghastly creature and then proceed to pay their respects to Ramu.

By three in the evening, the crowd was so unmanageable, that someone started a line and collected entry fees from the people wanting to have a glimpse of the snake and Ramu. The huge business opportunity present in this situation did not go unnoticed and stalls sprang up everywhere selling incense sticks, flower garlands, coconuts, camphor and also the red powder. All these were offered to Ramu who received all the gifts with feigned humility and a huge grin on his face that revealed most of his broken and discolored teeth. Ramu's ex-girlfriend revenge Buddhudevi and the neighbor woman Gossippodevi flanked his sides and became the self appointed custodians of all the gifts that Ramu received. Buddhudevi occasionally glanced at Gossippodevi, keeping an eye on her lest she whisk away some of her husband's rightful gifts and also to ensure, the snoopy neighbor woman doesn't get too close physically to her husband, the village hero.

By evening, the crowd had swelled so much that there was a waiting period for the crowd before they got to see the two supernatural beings, one dead and the other living. To keep the waiting crowd in good humor, old film songs were played from a blaring speaker. The playing of the songs were occasionally stopped, to give the village headman Thalaram a chance to repeat praises of Ramu and also illustrate his personal achievements of the past one year, as the village headman. Ramu, by this time was getting a little irritated, as till now, none of his admiring visitors had brought him a bottle of his favorite toddy as a gift.

It was the time of the day when Ramu had to have his compulsory drink. This problem was solved when Copporam, the lone police official in the village came too visit him bringing with him a bottle, knowing fully well Ramu's affinity for the drink. The same official had caught Ramu stealing bottles from Kalluram's shop and had given him a beating some months back. Not to be outdone in felicitating Ramu, the village politician Korruptoram of the KPIAS party, otherwise known as the Keep People Ignorant And Stupid party arrived with his loyal band of ardent followers numbering about twenty five. The loyal goons started shouting slogans praising Ramu and their dear leader. The wily politician hugged Ramu, with an affection normally displayed only when elections are near and impressed upon Ramu to shed his job as a lowly cobbler and join his party. He reasoned to Ramu that both of them can jointly alleviate the sufferings of the poor citizens of the village. After this, the politician made a speech on the loudspeaker praising Ramu and talked at length about the good deeds of his party. He concluded his speech by announcing the joining of Ramu in their party, which was greeted by thunderous applause from his loyal goons only and nobody else.

Shortly after dusk, the revelry was interrupted by the arrival of four officials in a jeep who wanted to have a look at the two legged snake. They were from the forest department office in a town 100 miles away from the village. They told everybody present there that it was the right of the state to get custody of any unknown species of animals. The villagers got angry and resisted the officials by arguing that certain rituals have to be performed before disposing the body of the devil. They said the village deity has to be appeased in the form of a goat sacrifice or a cock sacrifice. They said this will take a minimum of three days and that the officials can take the animal once all the ceremonies were completed. The officials then changed their tone and insisted that they be given custody of the mysterious snake immediately or the entire village will have to face legal action. A compromise was reached after the villagers got an assurance from the officials that they will hand over the snake back to the village the next morning itself, after the scientific and legal formalities were completed. The officials left the village in the jeep, carrying with them the body of the supernatural snake with two legs. That was the last time the villagers' saw of the officials or their dead snake.

The next day morning a big crowd assembled in Chairam's tea shop to drink tea and read the morning paper. There was a small report in the bottom of the front page about how forest officials had got custody of a two legged snake from angry villagers. The report said that the snake was operated upon by a veterinarian to study the causes behind the growth of legs in the snake's body. The report said a major scientific discovery to be, turned out to be a complete flop after it was found that the two legs were simply that of a frog that was eaten alive by the snake. It said the unlucky frog must have thrashed its front legs wildly in its dying moments and the legs somehow came out of the snake tearing open its body. The report also mentioned that the cause of death of the snake was the frog inside tearing open the snake's body and not of any external factors.

It has been some years now since the incident and life still goes on like before in this quiet village barring a few changes. Ramu is now the village headman and the leader of the KPIAS party after the villagers elected him to both the posts. Thalaram, the ex village headman and Korruptoram, the ex leader of the party are his personal assistants now. People still flock to see Ramu everyday and they have accorded him a divine status now. Everyone calls him Swami these days; a title reserved to god men or spiritually endowed souls. They bring with them offerings of alcoholic toddy and chicken fry, both Ramu's favorites. They ask Ramu to bless their newborns and ask him about their future. Ramu's ex-girlfriend revenge Buddhudevi is the mother head of the village and the envy of all the women. Villagers still gather in huddles and reminiscent about how the village cobbler attained supernatural powers one day and protected the village from a ghastly creature sent by the devil. They also talk about how the government had stolen from the village the rightful name and fame it deserves, by declaring the beast as nothing but a snake that had eaten a live frog and died of suffocation or constipation. The villagers still love and revere Ramu, as can be seen and they are a happy lot. In the village, life goes on as usual...

rajivkarran@gmail.com
Rajiv Karran
aka writerbaba
http://rajivkarran.blogspot.com
http://wishfulthinking.today.com/
rajivkarran@gmail.com

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Workplace Fitness: Tongue-In-Cheek

2009-01-18T18:40:00.001-08:00

According to the Oxford Dictionary of Current English, to speak with one's tongue in one's cheek is to speak insincerely or ironically. This phrase dates back to 1748 when it was cool to show disdain or disrespect for someone by putting your tongue inside your cheek to make it stick out.

While we rarely use this gesture to signal contempt today, we exercise tongue-in-cheek with our words. Our tongues are still happily employed in broadcasting insincerity, hypocrisy and any number of damaging darts to pre-planned or unsuspecting targets.

The Tongue

The tongue is the main vessel used to speak. It accomplishes this by spewing out sounds and words. Although a small part of the body, it controls and affects the direction of our lives. Most of the time it does a lot of good; but sometimes it gets us into huge trouble, and controlling it is a lifelong process.

Words are the main product of the tongue. Words have great healing power and are life-giving substances. They can wound or kill. With our words, we can hurt ourselves as well as our relationships with others.

Speak at Your Own Risk

Did you know that what comes out of your mouth reflects what is in your heart? It has been estimated that on a weekly basis, the average person speaks more than 200,000 wordsenough to fill a 500 page book! Words are powerful and extremely concentrated! When spoken in too-large quantities, they can affect emotions and attitudes. They germinate readily when spoken; therefore, we must be careful in what we say and how we say it.

Bite Your Tongue

We bite our tongues to keep quiet and not say what we really want to say. It is not always right to speak out and express what pops into our minds. Instead, there are times when we should bite our tongues and keep quiet.

When you really want to speak out, but you know you should not, it is best to just bite your tongue. If you realize that your tongue is out of control, make a commitment right nowat this very moment to do the following:

Refuse to participate in, listen to, or tolerate negative things (backbiting and gossip) said about another person. If you tell people you will not participate, they will stop including you in these types of conversations. So, speak up!
Watch your tone and attitude. Encourage and boost the self-esteem of those you talk to by allowing words of praise and encouragement to come out of your mouth. The tone and attitude behind your words can work miracles or do far greater damage than the words themselves.
Think positively. Look on the bright side of things. Develop a positive mental attitude about people. Believe it or not, this will brighten your personality and bring you contentment.
Practice being patient. I know this is hard to do sometimes, but when you are stuck in traffic or in the cashiers line, find something productive to think about or doview your emails, read the headings on a magazine, plan the rest of your day, etc. How about actually talking to someone in linenot complaining about how long it is taking; but really engaging in a conversation or two?
Learn to cope. A common definition of insanity is doing the things youve always done, yet expecting the result to be different. We live in an imperfect world, yet we continue to expect it to somehow be perfect. Stop wasting precious time and energy! Instead, consider even the smallest annoyance a challenge to overcome. Just think of the sweet sense of accomplishment you will receive once you have succeeded in tackling it.
Stop whining and complaining. Whining and complaining are energy-draining. Liberal doses of this highly toxic stuff leads to bitterness and ultimately poor health. Introduce a chronic complainer into a festive gathering and you end up with a mass exodus of the guests. Avoid complaining about things or people you cant control. Think of solutions and strategies to handle the things you can control without complaining.
Respond graciously to criticism. Give yourself a few moments to think of your response before you charge in mouth-first. Re-word your statement to be more effective. Make your point graciously and in a professional and convincing manner.
When youve put your foot in your mouthLets face it, each one of us has blurted out a tactless or tasteless remark from time to time. These rare occasions usually happen before weve had a chance to consider the impact our words will have on others. To overcome this debilitating tendency, apologize as swiftly and sincerely as possible and simply say the words you wish you had said.
Practice makes perfect. Train yourself to think and act differently. Prepare ahead of time by practicing what you will say in various situations. When you know you are about to engage in a confrontation that will test your temper, write out what you will say and practice it out loud before you meet with the other person.
Forgive yourself as well as others. When you blow it, dont panic. Forgive yourself first, and then make amends to the other person as well. Every person needs forgiveness and needs to forgive. Our first response when others hurt us is usually a reactive one of resentment, ex-girlfriend revenge and avoidance. Forgiveness allows us to be proactive and to put all the hurt and injustice of the past behind us once and for all.

Foot-in-Mouth disease is curable. Think through what you want to say and focus on communicating your thoughts in as efficient and effective a manner as possible. Practice makes perfect. Remember to practice one of these ten tips each day.

Althea DeBrule, entrepreneur and seasoned human resources executive, has focused for more than 30 years on helping people achieve their career goals. Creator of The Extreme-Career-Makeover and a founding partner of RADSGroup Organizational Consultants, she is recognized for her bottom line and practical application of career development and management strategies in a way that penetrates hearts and compels action. She speaks and teaches with inspired talent, humor and contagious zeal at management conferences and leadership retreats nationwide, and has been featured in CFO Magazine, Strategy@Work, Human Resource Executive Magazine. Althea is the author of Bosses & Orchards, a compelling and candid book about how to make your work relationship with your boss succeed. To discover how you can take your career to a new level, visit http://www.extreme-career-makeover.com/

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Divorce: Coping With The Family Law Process

2009-01-18T13:36:00.001-08:00

The Emotions

Divorce is a scary, lonely and misunderstood process for most people, particularly when there are children involved. The mutual friends enjoyed during the marriage may not be of help because those individuals may not want to "pick a side." A divorce will introduce you to an entirely new balancing act.

The Effect on Productivity at Work

You must be conscious of how the divorce process affects your ability to function on your job. There may be occasions when you will feel overwhelmed by a typical day's workload. On such occasions, you may wish to apportion work in terms of what you can handle.

You may at times find yourself uncharacteristically testy and acerbic to friends and colleagues, uncommunicative, depressed, and distracted. You should try to be alert to these personality and mood changes and work with a counselor to solve them. At times this may involve temporarily modifying project responsibilities or adjusting assignments until you achieve a level of equanimity. On still other days, you may not be able to cope with the workplace or home environment at all, no matter how light the workload. When this happens, it may be prudent to request a brief personal leave. If your behavior and interaction cannot be altered through temporary changes, you may need to seek professional counseling during this stressful period.

Keep in mind that while going through a divorce you will face numerous demands on your time: meetings with an attorney, accountant and counselor, possibly locating a new residence (and furnishing it) and establishing new lines of credit. Plan ahead where possible for these contingencies by asking your employer for projects that do not have a tight deadline. Flexible working arrangements, such as job-sharing, or the opportunity to compensate for lost time by working in the evening or on weekends, are other possibilities.

You should not let others treat you as an emotional cripple. You are probably already experiencing feelings of helplessness and an inability to control your life. By being overprotective and shielding you from the daily realities of the workplace or running interference with fellow employees or clients, the employer may only exacerbate those feelings. Work may be the only place you can achieve a sense of self-worth and personal strength during this difficult period.

The Process

Some people winding their way through the divorce process may experience fatalistic or, conversely, unreasonably hopeful feelings, and may rely on divorce process myths that further complicate the situation (for example, a belief that the system is entirely gender biased). Unfortunately, the legal process is not designed to address emotional issues for the participants. Although there are milestones, such as filing the initial documents, there are no true emotional releases. Even the finalizing of a divorce is a bittersweet experience and is likely to feel like a letdown. No one truly wins in a divorce because the estate is always divided and both individuals have fewer assets than prior to the divorce. Unfortunately, the legal process is often one of attrition. The time and expense of the legal process often dictates the results as one of the parties can no longer afford the resources or the time to continue to dispute issues.

The many difficult aspects of the legal process often cause frustration and result in increased anger and hurt. In combination with the plethora of negative emotions which led to the divorce in the first place, one facing a divorce may turn to ex-girlfriend revenge as a primary motivation and extend the divorce proceeding to hurt the other spouse. On the other hand, a spouse may prolong the divorce process in the hope that reconciliation might occur.

The Solutions

Mediation may be the best answer. If you and your spouse can still communicate and have some common ground, mediation may be the most economical, efficient, and effective way to resolve the issues in the divorce. The mediator must be well trained and be competent in the area of family law. You should consult with an attorney before and after the mediation to be properly advised on negotiation of the issues and on whether the final result is a comprehensive solution.

You may need guidance in selecting an attorney. Your union, company corporate attorney or human resource department may be a source of names. The attorney should be practicing primarily, if not exclusively, in the area of family law (the area has become too complicated to be effectively handled by the generalist). The attorney should have the most current research software and resources available within the office (Lexis and FinPlan Divorce Planner are good examples). Competence, comfort and convenience are three primary considerations in selecting the attorney. Evaluate whether the attorney has a plan which will properly allocate resources to achieve realistic and wise goals.

You should be cognizant of the importance of limiting conversation with the attorney to the nuts and bolts and not try to convince the lawyer that the soon to be ex-spouse is a less than admirable human being; that's for a counselor. It will also save time and resources for an already stretched budget. Also, one should not fear asking another attorney for a second opinion at any point in the process. It is no more improper than having a doctor provide a second opinion on a serious medical condition.

The divorce process is time consuming in even the simplest cases and will make demands upon your schedule. Because the courts and your attorney are probably working the same schedule as you are, it is probable that some absences and interruptions of work will be unavoidable. Court dates, especially, are not optional. Advise your employer immediately of any court dates, as those occasions may require an absence from work for at least one half day. When you provide documentation regarding income or other employment information, keep in mind that the courts have strict guidelines and time limits. Promptly providing the necessary information is essential.

Lastly, as an attorney, I remind my clients that the legal process of divorce is basically to divide assets, arrange custody, establish support, and address insurance and debts among other issues. It is not the last argument or the final ex-girlfriend revenge. While the attorney can assist a person going through the divorce process on the legal matters, emotional help is more appropriately available from close friends or professional counselors.

Please contact me if I can ever be of assistance in answering a question about legal representation in the divorce process.

About The Author

Charles Goldstein practices family law in Minneapolis, Minnesota. He is committed to providing accessible, effective and reasonably priced family law litigation and mediation services. For a free telephone consultation, call 952.449.5299. http://www.fmlylaw.com

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Travel Adventure in Peru - Those Are Labor Pains?

2009-01-18T08:30:00.001-08:00

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Leukemia- A Battle Lost

2009-01-18T03:26:00.001-08:00

On 28 September 2006, I received an e-mail from a man seeking help for his ex-girlfriend revenge. This is what he wrote:

I write this e-mail to you in order to seek your suggestion regarding my ex-girlfriend revenges illness.

My ex-girlfriend revenge had been diagnosed with Acute Myeloid Leukemia (AML) type M5 in late December 2005. I brought her to Singapore General Hospital (SGH) on 1 January 2006 for further management and chemotherapy. She had 3 cycles of chemotherapies in the first 3 months. Later she underwent a Bone Marrow Transplant procedure (BMT) in late April 2006 until mid May 2006. But unfortunately, on the 75th day after BMT, the leukemia cell relapsed. After that my ex-girlfriend revenge had another cycle of chemotherapy and also received donor lymphocytes.

Due to financial consideration, I moved my ex-girlfriend revenge for further treatment to Malaysia in mid August 2006. She was admitted into the Subang Jaya Medical Center (SJMC) until today. At SJMC she got another cycle of chemotherapy and received another donor stem cell on 12 August 2006.

But a week ago the leukemia cells were shown to be active again and they developed quickly before donor stem cells even could work. Five days ago my ex-girlfriend revenge had another cycle of chemotherapy in order to reduce the white blood cell count.

I would like to find possible therapy and treatments that will be suitable for my ex-girlfriend revenge. My ex-girlfriend revenge and I are Indonesians. Within the next few days, I must make a decision whether to bring back my ex-girlfriend revenge home to Jakarta or stay in Malaysia. I really need your help.

Comments

The above is a 33-year-old lady. Before her diagnosis she presented with the following symptoms: fevers for 1 to 2 weeks, gum pain and bleeding, headaches and diarrhea.

Over the years I have encountered many cases of bone marrow transplant (BMT). And all the cases that I know of resulted in death. There was this young lady of eighteen. She underwent BMT in Singapore. After spending so much money, her parents had to bring her home in a coffin. At her wake service, her mother said to me: If we knew it is like this, we would have stuck to your advice! She realized her mistake a bit too late!

I know of a person who had to spend well over 1.5 million ringgit (US$1 = 3.5 ringgit) to save his ex-girlfriend revenge from leukemia. She too died. Then there was another young lady who just started to work after graduating from her studies in Australia. She had leukemia and she too underwent BMT. I was told (rightly or wrongly) that she died while on the operation table.

Tham is my patient who suffered from kidney lymphoma. After undergoing some initial chemo-treatment he decided to give up chemotherapy due to severe side effects. He opted for herbs. Within nine months, the cancer went into remission. Soon after he was pronounced cancer-free, his doctor suggested that Tham undergo BMT. According to the doctor with BMT he would live ten years longer. Tham declined after consulting me. The question I posed to Tham at that time was: The aim of the doctor was to prolong his life for ten more years with BMT, but what was not taken into consideration was the risk of dying from BMT due to various complications. It has been eleven years since Tham was diagnosed with cancer. He is very much alive and well today. Tham is still taking the herbs.

In the case of the lady above, fortunately she did not die from the BMT procedure, but it did not cure her either. Much money had been spent on medical expenses. I only have this to say: Your life is in your hands. Decide wisely!

For more information about complementary cancer therapy visit: http://www.cacare.com , http://www.NaturalHealingForYou.com, http://www.BookOnCancer.com

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